Attention, Vending Machine Filling Guy
I haven’t had sex in three years
Sequential bad porn movie plot threads.
**If someone from the 1950s suddenly appeared today, what would be the most difficult thing to explain
21st century Alarm Clock? **
“Do you mean to say that this device not only accurately displays the correct time, but also contains some sort of automaton or robot that will wake me up at whatever pre-selected time I desire?!? Astounding!”
Roast chicken question…
How many independent sources do we have of Jesus’ life?
Is this about the Last Supper?
Farts and fetishes…
I haven’t had sex in three years
**I haven’t had sex in three years
Aside from sex, what physical sensation makes you feel good? **
Try concentrating on those.
**Aside from sex, what physical sensation makes you feel good?
NJ opens online gaming to public
**
**What do you do if your open enrollment doesn’t match your spouse’s?
Sit on Santa’s lap… **
Aren’t you a little old to be sitting on Santa’s lap?
**I haven’t had sex in three years
What was your most realistic dream?
Sit on Santa’s lap… **
After three years, sex dreams start to get weird.
**16 People On Things They Couldn’t Believe About America Until They Moved Here
Farts and fetishes…
**
From GQ.
**Can someone explain the physics behind catching a falling person?
Is there anything a human traveling at terminal velocity could land on that wouldn’t injure them?**
Is it practical to keep a medieval crossbow loaded?
What’s the average police response time in a rural area
Have you considered just getting a big dog?
** What was your most realistic dream?
Trying to bring Black Friday to Canada**
It was going so well in Winnipeg with all those people lined up two days in advance, then the blizzard hit…I don’t want to talk about it. 
Uh, too bad, lady…wanna free bag of Doritos?
**What’s your greatest Thrift Store find?
The Afterlife…and DELICIOUS MEAT!!! **
** I haven’t had sex in three years
Timeshare salespeople: How do you do it?
**
**I haven’t had sex in three years
How about a St. Louis Dopefest next week? **
Well, that’s sorted, then.
Not everyone wants to “celebrate” Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving not a “real” holiday
Who is NOT having Turkey for US Thanksgiving?
Bah, Humbug!
** I haven’t had sex in three years
Check out this whackadoodle apprentice program
**
If you haven’t had sex in three years, whack a doodle, indeed
**They found something suspicious in my wife’s mammogram
Here, YOU figure it out…
**
**What one food item makes or breaks Thanksgiving for you?
Unusual Thanksgiving recipes needed.
Aspic.
**
** Not everyone wants to “celebrate” Thanksgiving
Oh, how hard it is to speak Spanish! :)**
Yeah, shaddup and pass the pico de gallo.
Why do people with sepsis get hand and foot amputation?
Damn relatives.
Which is why it’s important to have a living will.