Oooh baby!
**Describe your final scene for “Breaking Bad”
Breakfast burritos for all! **
A tasty ending!
**I, the Teacher, Has Spoken
Promise for Education: Jesus wept
**
…it’s just not clear what I, the Teacher, has said.
What’s worse than not being able to find your keys in the morning?
Bunch of kids trash vacation home and tweet it
“Say, did any of you kids happen to see my keys when you were trashing the place? #dammitwheresmydamnkeys”
**What is the oldest thing in your house?
Mandatory office birthday lunches **
They just…walk right in.
**Someone commits offensive behavior the company “does not tolerate” – what do you expect to happen?
Why is “Jap” offensive? **
Use it in my office and you’ll find out what will happen.
**21. Clean for two years. Want to drink.
Does this make me a pig?
Does this make me a pig?
Have you twerked? **
What’s the oldest thing in your house?
Where is the Ark of the covenant?
In the back bedroom closet, underneath the National Geographics.
** Could a smaller, trained female realistically beat up a larger male?
What do you think about men shaving their armpits? **
Most women could probably beat up men who shave their armpits.
**What Is Attractive To Females
last year, I did not die…
**
Good start – being alive is such a turn-on.
** Ted Cruz’ Academic Snobbishness v. the Fox News Demographic
Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Movies**
And why I walked out during the coming attractions.
** I cut my cable today and I feel giddy as a school boy!
Public masturbation ruled legal in Sweden**
Don’t you mean “I pulled my cable today”?
**I haz a booboo!
I, the Teacher, Has Spoken
**
Or
**
I, the Teacher, Has Spoken
In which I declare my intention: I’m gonna quit drinking.
**
** Drewerys beer
Guy makes beer. In his belly
**
Remond me not to buy Drewery’s Beer.
**Starting a new job
I got poisoned **
They’re rough on the new guy, apparently.
**Canadian stereotype humor
The CanaDoper Café, 2013 edition. **
** What falsifiable claims do the holy books make?
Teleportation would destroy the world.**
“He said “Energize”, and lo! the world was plunged into eternal darkness” is obviously total bunkum.
Help with a Halloween costume
Massacre in Nairobi shopping mall
That might be the tiniest bit ambitious.
(And some might find it tasteless.)
Well, we are a bunch of clowns in there. 
These two are in the wrong order, but I’m going with it anyway -
Mandatory office birthday lunches
I got poisoned
** Great idea for a cancelled wedding
Chances that this is a sign of mold?**
“Sorry, but the bride-to-be has a really nasty fungus growing on her butt and we’ll have to put the ceremony off till it clears. But we’re keeping the presents.”