The fingerwaggin' BigT

The BBQ Pit
1

BigT, this isn’t about you posting your opinions on the internet, thousands of people do that everyday and the vast majority manage to do so without rolling a single eyeball.

But you, again and again you manage to post the most lecturing, pontificating, moralising, holier than thou weenie bullshit that does nothing but put peoples backs up. Again and again a thread will be motoring on with all the usual varied viewpoints until wham, a BigT lecture turd dumped right there for everybody to shake their head at.

Here is a bit of advice for you, something that most people know without being told, and its that people don’t like being lectured. People don’t like some avowed little weenie wagging his finger under their nose as he prattles on about what they should be doing or how they should be feeling. They especially don’t like it when they know that the lecturer has fuck all life experience, something that is clearly evident in all of your posts.

Many times on this board you stated to various posters that if multiple people have a problem with their actions or behaviour, then they should examine that behaviour and consider that they should act differently. So here you are BigT, I’m telling you straight that the moralising lectures make you seem like a real prick and that if you copped yourself on and dropped the pontificating then perhaps people would stop telling you to shut the fuck up.

2

BigT is actually quite entertaining. I don’t know why he gets so much grief.

My understanding is he may be a bit emotionally underdeveloped though and that these boards are very important to him. So how about softening the blow this thread is with a :)?

3

For me, the only positive thing about his posts is that every one of them reminds me of The Big Lebowski. “Shut the fuck up, BigT!” I don’t even read the posts anymore. I just hear John Goodman’s voice and move on.

4

Aw, he’s harmless. Leave the guy be.

5

I agree with the OP. BigTard could air condition hell with the speed with which he wags that finger. I’ve got a finger I’d like to wag at him.

6

I’ve read a lot of BigT’s posts, and have not noticed him to be any more prone to the things the OP accuses him of (“moralizing”, “lecturing” etc.), than anyone else on the Straight Dope Message Board.

7

I agree. Anyone who doesn’t like his posts doesn’t have to read them.

8

BigT is thoughtful and harmless. He’s just an easy target to be picked on.

9

I don’t think “thoughtful” and “harmless” mean what you think they mean.

10

Anyone who has been on these boards for more than a couple years and still gets personally offended by big t’s finger wagging enough to start a pit thread needs to do some sort of self examination or something.

11

You know what’s worse than moralizing lectures? Macho posturing. Little weenie indeed.

12

“Thoughtful” might not be the right word, but “harmless” I’ll agree with. You don’t like BigT’s fingerwaggin? Scroll down.

13

Yeah… moralizing, lecturing, general pontificating and pretentiousness on this board? Who’da thought? :smiley: I’ve seen him post in a lot of threads, but he’s never stuck out to me past anyone else, aside from other people abruptly jumping into threads to shout some variant of “Shut up BigTard!”, possibly to prove they’re one of the in-crowd.

14

Is this supposed to describe all his posts, or just those in ATMB and The BBQ Pit?

15

BigT puts lots of effort into his posts. That’s a quality that’s relatively rare on these boards. He’s far from a perfect poster, but he cares a lot and he tries hard, and those qualities deserve praise. I’m sure other things he’s said deserve criticism too, but for this post I’m making the choice to give him some kudos.

16

For the most part, I have found his posts to be thoughtful and principled.

17

If we gave out prizes to dopers, I’d nominate BigT for the Jiminy Cricket award.

18

I don’t put much notice into this kind of stuff, but it does seem to me this guy gets ZERO slack and is pounced on pretty quickly and mercilessly.

I find myself coming across a “Shut Up, Big Tard” and have to go back upthread to see what deserved that. It frequently does not.

19

Thoughtful is the right word. BigT has shown good insight and empathy at times. Yes, he can also come across as a bit sanctimonious at times but the overall ‘plus/minus’ ratio of his posts adds value to this board. The same thing can not be said for some of the posters here (ironically, many of the very posters who so vocally trash BigT).

20

Now this is the type of thread I want. Finally some fucking substance. Finally claims I can engage with, instead of just saying I’m awful and trying to piss me off. I’m not even all that angry now. Kudos.

The problem with complaints like these, however, is that I am far from the only Doper who lectures. I can find a lecture–from either side–in pretty much every Pit thread, any IMHO thread asking for advice, any thread where someone acts like a douchebag, etc. Hell, one reason I lecture less than I used to is that I can now count on other people to say the same thing before I do.

Yeah, maybe I lecture more than the average Doper. (Though, I’d argue, the issue is likely aggravated because I post more often than the average Doper.) But you guys always seem to want to tell me to stop doing it altogether. You tell me how everyone knows you shouldn’t do it, while you yourselves and everyone else also do it.

And I have cut it down a whole lot. I used to would lecture at any provocation. Now I hold back most of the time. Unless I’m talking about something particularly egregious, I try to pull back. I take advice that I need to be clearer when I’m just posting my opinion. I deliberately walk on eggshells, even though you guys say no one should have to, and call people snowflakes for needing it.

Still, when I see someone acting like an asshole, I want to be able to call them out. And when I see someone missing something obvious, I want to be able to break it down as simply as I can so they can have a chance at understanding. I hate this claim that I’m being “condescending,” as if that’s an argument against what I said. Yeah, when you seem to miss something basic, someone correcting you will often come off that way.

What I’m not going to do is blow smoke up your asses or hold back. You guys freed me back in 2009, when I realized being friends with everyone here was just impossible. You get to see what I really think.

I do try to smooth off the edges. I do try not to hijack a thread where people are being perfectly calm and lecture someone for being an asshole, like I used to. I pay attention more and more to other people’s feelings. I pay attention to the fact that, even if I’m pissed at one guy, what I say can piss off a bunch of other people.

In short, thanks for bringing this up, but this is not something I don’t know, and, unless you have specific tips on how to come off better, I’m not going to change how I interact more than I already am.

Simply telling me that I’m lecturing or coming off as condescending is just not helpful.