So this is all a plot so that you can call a mod a…
I wish I would think of these things.
What if we don’t like pie?
Hey, come on, a fucking moron couldn’t come up with a plot that clever. Except maybe by accident, like he did something truly moronic, tripped over it, hit his head on one end of an ironing board which caused the iron on the other end to fly through the air and land on a cat, which then screeched and flew the holy hell down the hall, crashing into and breaking a mirror (giving seven years of bad luck), causing a glass shard to upset a teaspoon with a pea on it (don’t ask why there’s a pea on it, some fucking moron put it there) causing the pea to fly into and activate a switch on the wall which lowered the winch that was holding the piano aloft (again, a fucking moron built the house) which landed on the bellows on the floor that was aimed at the fire which flared up and sent sparks out the chimney, one of which landed on a piece of paper on the ground outside the house and ignited it while the wind blew the flame into an adjacent pile of refuse (fucking moron) which was abutting the house which soon became engulfed in flames which caused the mod that lived next door to evacuate his house and come running over yelling, “What kind of a fucking moron would do this?”
Y’know, or something like that.
Ummm, because you’re a fucking moron??
The first rule of Moron Club…
I think if one started at the bottom, one wouldn’t be holding hands, would one? I think one would be a Fondling Moron.
By the way, all this talk about pie – is that just a euphemism for … you know … well, you know. Because I could swear I hear a lot of snickering when people talk about “pie” and I’ve been a member for almost a year, and I haven’t gotten so much as a cup of coffee around here. So, like, there isn’t really any pie, is there?
:: walks by ::
:: squints at magic-eye image Sunrazor is concentrating furiously on ::
Oh, a pie!
:: walks off ::
List of reasons why you are in the club:
- Only a fucking moron doesnt like pie
- See reason number 1
- Hi Opal!
Well, I like pumpkin pie. But fruit pies are gross.
I thought I joined this club, once for about 20 minutes…can I join again?
…is that you can’t remember what the first rule is. 
The second rule of Moron Club…
…If this is your first time at Moron Club, you have to do something moronic.
Phew. No problems there then.
Should be a real hoot when it’s time for the “Ask the Fucking Moron” thread.
Is that a leg?
I used to be a fucking moron, but then I got old, and, well…
Can I join the auxiliary?
Why, what did you want to ask me?
How many licks to the center of a Tootsy-roll pop?
Because whenever he starts talking about foreplay, they say, “I’d really rather it just be the two of us for now.”
Because they think a ‘condom’ is an apartment that you buy instead of rent.
Because whenever he says he’s cumming, they ask, “From where?”
Because when he asks if they’ll do fellatio, they say, “I don’t know, but I fell out of the bed once.”
Because when he asks about their sexual history, they tell him they’ve been female all their life.
OK, I’m done now. What do you think, am I in? And is it true that there are no stupid questions? Not even that one?
THREE?
The answer is eleventeen. That’ll cost you your foil hat. One more mistake like that and you’ll be upgraded to dumbass.
I’m a 1920’s-style “death moron”.
Seriously, though, I can’t believe you guys are having a gathering of village idiots and didn’t invite me. Check my post history… I should be President of this thang…