The Girlfriend Saga Continues

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I posted a few weeks ago about how I felt after I dumped my last girlfriend, I felt like crap and she took it especially hard. Well since then she’s recovered nicely. How do I know? Because she’s almost acting as if we’re still going out, at least communication-wise.

I receive 3+ calls from her on average per day, and at least 3 emails to boot. Now, I apologize that I’m going to drop the nice guy-ishness about me, but damnit, we broke up. She needs to move on and build other bridges for support, something which is hard for her, but it’s hard for everyone.

She is having a major change in her life, new job, new place to live, crisis of faith, and I broke up with her. So yeah, it’s a lot going on, but damnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

I don’t want this to be a pit thread, I don’t want to just rant, so let me give some of my non-rant thoughts on it.

She’s got baggage, she’s depressive (is that a word?), and she is convinced she should live by her life plan from when she was 14. That’s a recipe for mental anxiety for anyone.

Now I left the door open for friendship afterwards so I expected some of this, but to get this many calls and this many emails in a single day is excessive.

Right now I’ve resorted to screening calls and leaving emails unreplied to. Yes I still talk to her at least once every 48 hours, but I’m trying to ween her basically. Am I doing this right?

And to top it off, today’s valentines day so I either:
a) talk to her and know she’s going to make some ‘joke’ relating to how this would be our valentines day had I not pulled the plug
or b) ignore her

And to be honest, I’m sitting on b right now.

I dunno, women drive me nuts. They don’t make any sense! :wink:

2

I think option “b” is the best thing to do at this point. It may sound cold and hard but very likely it’s best in the long run for both of you.

But before you exercise option “b”, very honestly tell her that you need to get some space and time away. Explain how you feel it will benefit you both. Explain how it’s really the best way to go under the circumstances. At leas for the time being.

Then do it. Don’t get suckered back in by manufactured drama.

(Disclaimer: Easier said than done.)

3

This doesn’t sound like recovering nicely. It sounds like denial. It sounds like she might be hoping that by ignoring the fact that you two broke up, the breakup will go away.

Especially on Valentine’s Day, I’d vote for for (b).

4

I agree with everyone else. (b) is your best option. If you do talk to her, she’s going to want to see you, do something with you, it’ll turn into a long dragged out discussion, and you’ll end up feeling guilty, and she’ll end up feeling neglected. Neither of you need that at this point. Play some video games. Hang out here. It’s just another day.

5

I don’t call or email my husband three times a day. You and this girl were basically incompatible, and that’s why you broke up, I assume (it pretty much all boils down to that in the end); if you wanted her in your life, you wouldn’t have broken up with her. Time to yank that bandaid off (again). Either lay it out in plain English for her, or change email accounts and phone numbers. My opinion, for what it’s worth.