Have you Hags noticed that any time anyhag tries to have some fun on this thread, it gets buried under a pile of administrative posts?
I propose we start a new thread–no business, just pleasure.
Maybe Hag Stuff? Or is that too derivative? Naw, I don’t like it.
“What Do You Get When You Get a Haggle of Hags?” Naw.
I’m taking suggestions, Hags.
Please accept my application to be one of the Hags of the Straight Dope. My picture is here: http://home.att.net/~lhamelin/sdmb/jesse.jpg
My qualifications:
I work at a bookstore and some of the young fellows I work with resently attempted to designate me the Book Goddess (because I know quite a lot about books). I protested this designation and requested that I be referred to as the Book Hag instead. The boys felt this was inappropriate until I (with the help of a nearby volume of The Woman’s Encyclopedia of myths and Secrets) showed them what the word originally meant. I am as wise and stubborn as can be and while, as an atheist, I object to being styled “Holy”, I am certainly as hole-y as need be.
Takes a look at her wardrobe Oh boy I think I do need help if I want to live up to the title Sexy Hag. Can you help me with my clothing choices Esprix? I seriously need help I think… Jeans and t-shirts aren’t too sexy are they?
blesses Suo Na’s multiple posts in her official capacity of Patron Saint of Quintuplet Posts while she is here
Um I don’t know what to nominate myself for so I’ll just go with my first thought of Poetic Hag. Then I can be the Sexy Poetic Hag 
Well, I didn’t want to barge in, but it would hardly be polite of me to refuse an invitation from the Founder of the Hags of the Straight Dope herself, would it? Since I don’t have a website, I’ll e-mail you my pic, Grean Bean.
As for my other credentials, I would list: a fair amount of intelligence, a burning hatred of hypocrisy, a pretty good sense of humor, and an above-average writing ability. Oh yeah, and an annoyingly persistant sense of isolation. Does that make me qualified? Naturally, I’ll willingly accept whatever duties my hagitude carries.
Nacho4Sara: Ah, my little tortilla, my heart swells to the bursting point at your every word. It is truly rare to find a woman such a yourself, one who can appreciate the taut, rippling prose of a real man without feeling a drop of shame. There are so few like you–but you are, of course, enough for me. Look into my eyes, my darling. See the passion which gazing upon your beauty has roused from deep within my soul, the passion which burns like fire in my veins, scorching my flesh with every mesmerizing heave of your ample bosom. Only say that you will be mine, and we shall be as one from now to the end of eternity…
Whoa, I better stop before I lose control! I was starting to sound like a romance novelist, and that’s just too scary. At least I caught myself before I got to the part about tearing open your bodice… 
What can I say, Nacho4Sara, you do strange things to me… 
Ever thine,
Calredic
Calredic…
Taut, rippling prose? Only you, dear Calredic, know that such a possession is necessary to burst open a lovely, cheese-filled, crisp, tasty tortilla of love such as me. I hope that I can be enough for you, my love, satisfying your every need and desire, for I may be beautiful, but I am but a little nacho…I will try my best to make you the happiest author in the world, so that your eloquent, awe-inspiring (and dare I say…orgasmic) words will forever cause my ample bosom to heave with such great passion. Take me in your arms, you burning, fiery hunk of manhood, and whisper words to rival those of Byron and Yeats. Only then will I be yours, yours to do with as you please until the end of eternity and beyond. Only then may your strong arms always gather me tenderly and erase my sadness, your tender voice always declare undying worship, and your warm, fragrant breath always skip over my neck and cause me to shiver in expectation.
I love it when you talk dirty to me, baby. I’ll be your cocktail waitress any day.
Calredic…
Taut, rippling prose? Only you, dear Calredic, know that such a possession is necessary to burst open a lovely, cheese-filled, crisp, tasty tortilla of love such as me. I hope that I can be enough for you, my love, satisfying your every need and desire, for I may be beautiful, but I am but a little nacho…I will try my best to make you the happiest author in the world, so that your eloquent, awe-inspiring (and dare I say…orgasmic) words will forever cause my ample bosom to heave with such great passion. Take me in your arms, you burning, fiery hunk of manhood, and whisper words to rival those of Byron and Yeats. Only then will I be yours, yours to do with as you please until the end of eternity and beyond. Only then may your strong arms always gather me tenderly and erase my sadness, your husky voice always declare undying worship, and your warm, fragrant breath always skip over my neck and cause me to shiver in expectation.
I love it when you talk dirty to me, baby. I’ll be your cocktail waitress any day.
Ahem First, I’m an OH, and now I’ve been changed to CH. What did I do, Green Bean? 
And, if you’re going to flirt with my hubby, can I flirt with yours?
I’m not ignoring you, SingleDad. I’m right over here, trying to wink at you. You probably think I have something in my eye, no doubt. 
Green Bean, as to name of the new thread, how about:
Haggle Party. If you have to ask…
Haggle Meet Here
Ugh. Sorry purplebear. I messed a few things up when I was re-arranging the list. Thanks for pointing it out.
Me? Beautiful hag? Oh happy day!
Haggle just happens to be my favorite word. I would like to thank the the hagliest hag of all, Green Bean, for this honor. Thanks also to everyone behind the scenes that made this moment possible. And to the little troll: from a heap of shit grow the sweetest flowers - the Hags. Green Bean, may your mindseeds in others sprout…
::accepts honor and fades away, her Cheshire Cat grin lingering behind:: :D…
Me? Beautiful hag? Oh happy day!
Haggle just happens to be my favorite word. I would like to thank the the hagliest hag of all, Green Bean, for this honor. Thanks also to everyone behind the scenes that made this moment possible. And to the little troll: from a heap of shit grow the sweetest flowers - the Hags. Green Bean, may your mindseeds in others sprout…
::accepts honor and fades away, her Cheshire Cat grin lingering behind:: :D…
Awright, I’m gonna have to start a new thread. I noticed that this thread had sunk to the second page!
Now, that’s a big problem.
My diagnosis: This thread is basically administrative in nature. That’s okay–we need a place to discuss Hag business.
But who’s gonna walk into this busy office and just hang out? A few have tried, but were buried under a pile of administrative posts.
I’m starting a new thread so we can have a no-business, only-pleasure haggle of Hags.
TopazAnteres wrote:
Oh, I don’t know - you pull them off kinda nicely. They can be sexy if you do them right. But, if you want to go a little more typical, I’ve got this lovely form-fitting black strapless number (ankle length, of course, but with a split up to your… well, never mind). We’ll put on some sensible heels and do up your hair, and voila! Sexy Hag you shall be!
Esprix
I never thought I’d say this, but:
Esprix! Do me!
(This could be fun…do you think the non-hags would flip out if there was another Hags thread??)
By the way, Esprix, your office shall be Stylist. Stylists kind of coordinate the whole “look,” right? If I am wrong, I’ll change the title of your office.
Okay: Here’s what I need.
I am 5’3", size 18. I have straight red hair and I won’t wear anything sleeveless, backless, low-cut, or off the shoulder. I am in The Cute category. I am seeking a look that as appropfiate for my position as the Head Honcho Hag.
Thank you in advance.
Honey, you don’t need to show skin to be refined or sexy. I’m thinking something dark blue. What color are your eyes? And what are your thoughts on velvet? And by all means, leave that hair down.
Hmmm - “stylist” has always implied just hair to me. And “fashion coordinator” implies just clothes. We need something more comprehensive…
I’ll cogitate on that. In the meantime, get thee into that changing room!
Esprix
Esprix - how about style maven?
BTW - I would like to nominate Ayesha for Hagdom of the Beautiful variety. I know she won’t apply, because she doesn’t like to have her picture taken, but she definitely belongs in this group.
I’m sure Sealemon & Beatle will agree with me.
OK, go ahead and sign me up! I’m 30 and single, work full time and go to school (when finances allow), and I don’t have a domestic (can’t cook, sew, or any of that crap) bone in my body. I suppose I could be a hag in more ways that one!
I really need help in the fashion and style department. My wardrobe consists mainly of hospital scrubs.
I’m five feet tall, 125 pounds. Shoulder length dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, light brown skin. I prefer a comfortable, casual look, mimimal makeup. Once I get my HAG “category”, I’d appreciate some tips in this area.
I second Ayesha’s nomination!
grins Hmm sounds nice. I’ll wear my jeans and t-shirts regularily and then I can wear that when its time to dress up. Do I need the heels though? I never really liked them and being 6’ tall I might make the other women jealous… oh what the hell. I got it I might as well flaunt it.
Gee I felt left out 
Can I join as an AB??? I can be really romantic and I give great massages!! plus I stick up for my ladies!
heres a link to my picture!! http://hometown.aol.com/bjordan8117/myhomepage/profile.html
Gee I felt left out Can I join as an AB??? I can be really romantic and I give great massages!! plus I stick up for my ladies!
heres a link to my picture!! http://hometown.aol.com/bjordan8117/myhomepage/profile.html
