I like my idiots like I like my rubber: BANNED
Wow. That was bad.
Anyway, from Roseanne:
I like my men the way I like my marshmallows: crispy and stuck to the end of a fork.
(Paraphrasing my seventh-grade math teacher)
I like students’ reports like I like women’s skirts: Long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to be interesting.
I like my sex like I like my badger: angry and to a technobeat!
I like my men like I like my coffee: Hot as hell and sweet as sugar.
I like my homosexuals like I like my Moes: Flaming!
I like my women like my beer: flat, old, and way too bitter.
I like my assembly-language code like I like my kangaroos: with lots of jumps.
I like my women like I like my milkshakes… With a spoon in them.
Now for a not-quite-sexual contribution:
I like my hugs the way I like my sheets: warm, soft, and king-sized!
I like my women in the:- kitchen/bedroom/bathroom/hallway/stairs/lounge/spare bedroom/over the garden gate/in the closet/back garden…hell I just like 'em
I like my similes like I like my analogies. Or something like that.
I like my women like I like my christmas presents: not wrapped too tight.
MarkofT- I thought of linking to that. Has nothing to do with being racist or any crap like that, but it’s pretty funny, in my opinion.
I like my women the way I like pie… mmmmmmm pie.
I like my dead prostitutes like I like my classic T-Birds:
waxed up, well preserved, and covered with a large sheet in the back of my garage.
I like my women like I like my morning coffee…2 FULL CUPS! 
I like my sex like I like my top law firms:
Sleezy, single-minded, and with multiple partners.
(after ordering an iced cappucino)
I like my women like I like my coffee: Cold, pretentious, and in glasses.
I like my sex like I like long train journeys: fast, shuddering and really damn satisfying when you reach your destination.
I like beatniks, like, wow…