So it has been a while since I last posted aboiut the whole relationship with K thing. A quick recap: We met and liked each other quite a bit. She then decided she just wanted to be friends. Then she decided that she wanted to be friend w/benefits. Then friends w/benefits morphed to boyfirend/girlfriend.
Things have been great. We have been going out all the time and having a blast. Her daughter seems to like me quite a bit also, which is great. We did a day at the lake and I tottally got extra bonus boyfriend points for that one.
Well, yesterday I was talking to her on the phone before going to work. Rambling about all kinds of stuff. Then K mentioned that ‘if we got a place together we could get an awesome house’ and then ‘if we ever do shack up, we are going to have one hell of a network’. (Note, we both use computers for business, she is a Mac girl, I do PCs. Between us we have tons of hardware. Also note, I am house shopping right now). Then, when it was time for me to head to work she ended the call with ‘Love you’.
I totally choked. I said ‘See ya later’ or something equally lame.
Or if you feel the same way but were just completely discombobulated by hearing her say it first, reciprocate the first opportunity you get. I guarantee she noticed that you did not respond with “Love you, too.”
Whoa - before you jump any guns, are you sure (I mean absolutely sure) that it wasn’t just a “love you” out of habit? She didn’t say “I love you”, right? Just make sure it wasn’t an accidental slip up on her part. it just seems weird the first time those words are uttered it’d be a blip at the end of a phone call…
When a woman says I love you the first time they know exactly what they’re doing. Be sure she’s waiting for an answer. The only advice I can give you is don’t let fear get in the way. It’s not like your proposing marriage. So don’t let things go awry over a few words that I’d bet you feel anyway. I get the feeling you know she said “I love you” or you wouldn’t have started an op about it.
You were probably just kidding around, but ‘friends with benefits,’ means a partnership of friends that also fuck. As in they dont consider themselves to be in a relationship; it’s just a physical thing.
Well, if you feel the same way, tell her! Do it romantically. Ok sounds cheesey, but over a dinner, reach across the table, grab her hand and tell her for Ogsake.
Be a hopeless romantic and say it to her face, not via phone or, in spite of your mutual computer prowess, over IM.
That way she’ll know you mean it and aren’t saying it just because she did.
I can hear those boyfriend points tallying up as we speak!
See, here is the thing, she has issues with the whole serious relationship thing*. I am not sure if she said it on purpose or if it was a habit thing. That and her issue with serious relationships kind of put me in a tight spot. If she did mean it, which I hope, I should respond. However if it came out as an accident then telling her ‘I Love You’ might freak her out.
Argh.
We went to lunch today. She didn’t say *the * words but she did call me lover a couple times. We are supposed to do something tonight and tomorrow.
Women, and this woman in particular, just freak me out. K has gotten on a ‘we are getting too serious’ kick once already, though that was resolved rather quickly so I am not sure it wasn’t a habit thing…
Slee
*She got on a ‘we are getting too serious kick’ about a month or so ago. It only lasted a day but it still happened.
Ask her if you guys are getting serious. Do you want to get more serious? Are you happy wherever it goes? Coming out and saying it could creep her out if it was just out of habit. Hence…why you ask, kind sir.
As skittish as K is, I think you should just talk to her; tell her that you noticed that she said the L word, and since you don’t want to move too fast for her, tell her that you like her a lot, you really enjoy spending time with her, and are up for whatever she’s ready for, with no pressure.
