Not necessarily. For a no-fault divorce, the couple must have lived separate and apart for one year. The divorce can be filed at any time during that period–so, if it is filed on the day of the separation, the period will be one year from filing; if it is filed on the last day of the separation, it can take place immediately. What counts is the date of separation, not the date of filing.
There are other grounds for divorce in Canada: adultery and cruelty. These are “at-fault” grounds, and neither requires a year of waiting. If a divorce action is brought under either ground, it can generally be attended to as soon as possible after filing.
I agree that it’s important to make sure you prioritize caring about your kids when you get divorced. But it’s likely that they do care very much if you are happy. And it’s for their own sake as well as yours - stress and happiness are both practically contagious within families. So don’t go too far in the direction of martyrdom for your kids, either. Keep a good balance outlook.
Ahh the irony I read this thread right after getting off of the phone with my ex wife. My only regret was we should have finished the darn thing back in 2007. It’s been two years… and we are both considerably better for it… I’m in a great relationship with a pretty lady… and the ex is doing well… and has lost weight… looks well.
As for the kids… might i suggest that you take them to a class and/or counseling. It really benefited my kids. Mine are the same age as yours… and consistency is what I think is the key. Also might i add that you take them out individually and do specific things they enjoy… I’ve had a fun time walking around H&M with my high fashion 13yr old daughter… : >
Welcome, unfortunately, to the club. My three kids were around that same age. I suggest you take them on vacations. Our summer vacations made for great memories. That was 15 years ago.
It will get better, it’s just going to take some time. It’s really hard to accept all the time you put into the relationship for nothing. All the time wasted, back at zero, starting all over. It really sucks but it will get better.
Like you’re kinda sick to your stomach, but not really. Like if you did eat something, you’d probably just puke it up. Empty, but not hungry.
Just nibble on something. Anything. This feeling will pass, but you still need energy, in the meantime, and I guarantee you having even small snacks will help.
It’s not zero, though - he’s got a ton of life experiences from his marriage, as well as his kids. Not all the experiences were good, I assume, but now he knows things he doesn’t want as well as things he does.
When I get stressed/upset, I can’t eat. Then I feel worse because I haven’t been eating. A few tiny pieces of advice: get food in you. What I find goes down easily are smoothies and/or milkshakes. Not always healthy, but something’s better than nothing. If you’re a heavy consumer of caffeine, cut back. I was surprised how much it contributed to my anxiety.
But mostly you’ll have to wait it out. Can you do some special things with your kids? Maybe a small trip next weekend to get ALL your minds off what’s happening?
