Well, I made it home okay. I’m glad I got to meet all of you! And now, I’m taking a nap. 
ugh.
I learnt four things last night. Firstly, Cecil Adams is in actuality a rather decrepit old black dude who thinks I’m the bees knees.
Second, Alphagene is the younger brother of the older brother from Everybody Loves Raymond.
Third, bartenders are really nice and all, but they will turn on you like that snap once you yak in their bar.
Fourth, vodka shots are never a good idea.
ugh.
ugh.
my hands are still shaky and my belly feels full of some terrible poison. Luckily, no headache.
jb
p.s.- hopefully I’ll last a bit longer for the philly dopefest
Wait, who yakked in the bar? I missed this…
Sorry I bailed so early last night. I would have liked to see the end, but I was sooo tired the normal drive home from Jersey City took 3 times the average amount because I had to stop and nap.
Anyone up for a Jersey Shore Bash this summer?
Ha! I forgot to mention this earlier, but the mention of jb_farley’s new friend reminded me.
At one point I betook myself to the ladies’ room, which has a hook and eye “lock” that doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. I had barely closed the door when someone starts pounding on it.
“Just a sec!” I chirped, figuring some other possibly beer-laden female Doper was eager to head on in there.
Second later, the pounding resumed.
“Ok, just a minute!” I call, still cheerful, because I’m thinking “She must really have to go!”
I open the door, and guess who’s there? CECIL ADAMS! Cecil Adams himself, frantic to get into the ladies’ room!
(As far as I know, the men’s room was functioning properly-- if it turns out it wasn’t, my little tale isn’t nearly as weird ;))
Jersey Shore Bash? As long as it’s not Point Pleasant, I’m allowed on the shore in Jersey. so… YES.
I learned:
Leather is great because[ul]
SaxFace can’t spill enough beer on your pants to really get you wet,
Glass doesn’t cut through it so easily,
Dogs (aka Spot the Wonderdog) can’t slobber enough on them…
Makes for great penis portraits apparently…
Waitresses can wear it really tightly without having their oh so amzingly legs fall off while still shaking their boodys in it…[/ul]
I learned that 50 or so dopers IS really what a party is…
I learned Cecil Adams will always surprise you…
And much much more…
andygirl, where are you posting from? You’re not home yet.
OH, and I learned that if you let another doper stay at your place, you need to change the login on your computer back to your own name…
SORRY ANDYGIRL,
my apologies, you’ve just gained an extra post…
honest mistake… the above post by andygirl is actually by soulsling…
Lux, that was not an alcohol induced hallucination. JDT really did drop trou at the bar. Somebody who doesn’t know when to shut up asked to see the thing of wonder and JD happily complied.
Where are the NoteNazi’s detailed and very long notes?
OH! I forgot this! In the women’s room, there’s a sign that says “No Smoking.” Handwritten on the sign was “No spitting, no kissing, no blowing.”
Swiddles and I said that fucking in the bathroom must be allowed then.
Hi all. Jeff and Spot and I are home and safe and sound. I wanted to say thanks for a great weekend. It was a blast. I’m going to bed now.
- Never ever sit in the seat directly in front of the bus bathroom. Never ever go inside the bus bathroom. Always remember the door opens inward.
2.Billdo is THE nicest, most hospitible Doper ever.
-
Overengineer/Jeff is NOT the guy you wanna get in a snowball fight with…
-
And violence most certainly IS widespread in Central Park, once you get ten tired, bored Dopers in it.
-
If you’re gonna drink at a Dopefest, drink slowly.
-
Confiscate all cameras by 8pm.
-
When you’re dancing on a bar and the music stops, the waitresses get real nasty so jump the hell off.
8.Hammy is the funniest, coolest, smarmiest, most cynical bitch ever and I love her. As soon as gay polygamist marriages are legal, Chance, Sua and I are moving in with her.
-
Cecil Adams is one horny dude. Any attempt to dance with him will deteriorate into him madly dry-humping your thigh while you frantically try to escape.
-
Finally, there is a special place in hell wherein you are hungover, with an incredibly sensitive stomach, on a Greyhound bus being driven by a madman intent on blazing down the Jersey Turnpike at 80 MPH, watching the wipers go back-and-forth, back-and-forth, back-and-forth, while thinking about upchucking into the black hole of stench in the bus bathroom, for three and a half goddamn hours..
My fiance Vince/SuaSponte said:
Baby, you know I love you and only you. Pshaw! Any man who gives backrubs like that is a man of mine.
I just thought the other ladies would wanna know about all that sweet sweet lovin’ you got, cause they all think you’re a blue-haired sixty-year-old woman. 
It was incredibly fun!
I just got home a little over an hour ago; slept the whole train ride home.
I’d like to thank Green Bean and Billdo for being fabulous hosts and doing a spectacular job in planning and organizing.
I have gobs of pictures and movies… I’m going to organize it into pages and such, but for now I just have it all uploaded. The movies from Chumley’s are a bit dark, and it’s loud, but I got almost everyone introducing themselves on video, and a few people were truly inspired (see Uke and Manhattan in 010601/MOV00039.MPG!)
The pre-dinner gathering at Billdo’s, Chumley’s…
http://fathom.org/opalcat/movies/mpg/010601
(dope stuff starts with MOV00025.MPG, before that is us on the train goofing around)
http://fathom.org/opalcat/photos/010601
Brunch at Billdo’s, the zoo…
http://fathom.org/opalcat/movies/mpg/010701
http://fathom.org/opalcat/photos/010701
You guys are all the best.
I have to second the fact that Billdo is one of the coolest, sweetest, most considerate people I have ever met in my entire life. And a fantastic host. And has great taste in bagels. AND…he let me cuddle his teddy bear all night; how cool is THAT???
Nacho4Sara spent the entire weekend alternating between, “Oh my god, I love you!” and “Oh my god, I hate you!” She also insisted that she’s coming to live with me, but she told Billdo and Chance the Gardener the same thing, so I have to doubt her veracity. But she’s a cool chick anyhow. Even though she can’t decide who it’s gross to kiss. SHE knows what I mean. Freak.
Green Bean and her illustrious husband, as well as the inimitable Spot, were all delightful as well…she’s a riot, HE’S a riot, even though I am far more mature than he is <innocent whistle>, and Spot is a yummy puppy.
And for the record, I started that snowball fight. And now I’m at least 300 miles from most of you, so you can’t retaliate! NEENER NEENER NEENER!!!
I have to shaddup now because my husband wants my attention (imagine that!!)…y’all are all the coolest. Oh, and I have to say that andygirl is a fantastically sardonic amusing non-drunk…loved her occasional wry comments all weekend. 
It was great to meet so many Dopers! You guys are even more smart, witty, fabulous and beautiful in person. I was a little nervous when I first walked into Chumley’s, but this went away as soon as I sat down with SuaSponte (who is, btw, a man), Zebra, Lux Fiat and DaveW.
I don’t think the people at Chumley’s knew what they were getting into when they accepted our reservation, but they probably started to realize we were not your average bears when a hockey fight broke out, a rousing cheer was made when our group reached 42, OpalCat captured everything on video, and Wonko made an enormous paper hat that was worn by just about every Doper there.
Those dedicated to fighting ignorance then made their way to the Village Idiot (and I think the Idiot won the fight last night). Two words: Tequila shots. And plenty of dancing, both on the dance floor and on the bar. Green Bean’s name tags, I realized then, were so I could remember my own name. Maeglin summed it up nicely when he said “You hear about bars like this, but I was never sure they existed before now.”
I left before anyone did any yakking. Mr. Del laughed himself silly when I poured myself in the front door at about midnight. When are we doing this again?
When I got back to my apartment when I got done with running around doing tourist stuff with folks and seeing some out-of-towners off, I found that after hosting a brunch for 17, the only things I had to do to clean up were take 4 glasses off the coffee table, stack the coasters, run the dishwasher twice, and hand-wash about six items. Everything else in the apartment was in perfect shape. After a long nap and some take-out Chinese, I’m even feeling almost human again.
It was great meeting and seeing everyone, and fun having so many of you here yesterday and today. I’m sure I’ll have more to say once my brain springs back to life.
Let’s do this all again real soon (but after my head gets better, please.)
Bill
P.S. I got a call from Cajun Man and DrMatrix. Unfortunately, they couldn’t get a flight out of Louisiana, so they couldn’t be with us last night or today. I know I’m not the only one who felt something missing last night because of their absence. I can’t wait 'til the next one that they can make.
I had a great time meeting everyone that attended the Dopefest, you guys are the greatest
Andygirl, Joe_Cool wants to know what you did with his pen? He said to email him when you get a chance…
hope we do this again..... :cool:I’ve made it home safely as well. Sorry I left early but I figured once I saw Cecil dancing on the bar top nothing was going to top that.
Thanks again to Billdo for hospitality above and beyond the call. Sorry about the watergun fight but when a six year old calls you out, what can you do?
With luck I’ll have my photos developed and scanned this week and hopefully some kind soul will agree to post them.
-I’m incredibly invisible.
Billdo, thanx for brunch, pre-chumleys snacks and for being our NYC Dopefest HQ for a weekend
Opal, those are some great shots you took, Nicky rocks!
Green Bean, Jeff, Spot rocks!
…and so do you guys