The oddest posters

[DocCathode]

@AncientHumanoid

BZOOOOOOO and the time travelling space shuttle based on a Superman movie plot point was interesting. Sorry, can’t link on this old tablet

I remember some of that. He knew that Superman was just a movie. But he had to be convinced that reversing the rotation of the earth in real life would not turn back time.

[Locrian]

The Natsarim comes to mind. :rolleyes: A combination of christianity and Judaism that’s been around for thousands of years… but only got its name 2000 years ago. Imagine that!

[Spoons]

Interesting to read through the thread–I remember many of these people.

For the oldtimers from 2000, does anybody remember Oldscratch? I don’t think he’s been mentioned yet. He seemed to be a normal poster. So it wasn’t unusual when he posted a Pit thread telling people to tip the bartender:

TIP!!!! TIP!!!! Tip you motherfucking yuppie cheapskate bastards. TIP!!!!

Fair enough, and I think we all agree that we should tip the bartender in the US (and Canada). But then things went off the rails, and it turned out that Oldscratch had agreed to tend bar for no wages–for tips alone, in other words. (Working for an employer that doesn’t pay you a single cent? That’s Odd Part No. 1). He wanted to take cash home every night, so there was no paper trail and he didn’t have to pay income taxes. Well, none of us want to pay them, but we recognize why we have to. But why not, in Oldscratch’s case? Because as he stated, at post 58 of that thread, he’d rather spend his own money…

…on overthrowing our current government than spending it to buy pepper spray that will in the future be dabbed in my face, or training for future death squad leaders, or etc etc.

That’s Odd Part No. 2, and we’re venturing into tinfoil hat territory here. But Oldscratch is not done. Suddenly, calculating income and taxes owed is too onerous anyway. Besides, he’s paid too much already:

But, I’m not going to bother myself and go to all the trouble of finding my earnings, figuring out what I should add in taxes, and reporting that at tax time. The government already has plenty of money withheld from my last job.

Doing something in the spring that we gripe about but we all agree we have to do is too much bother for Oldscratch? That’s Odd Part No. 3.

To all the odd parts, others took issue, for various reasons. Oldscratch responded with his weak, self-justified defenses, and the pile-on began. Many disagreed with his approach, but none more so that our own Una Persson, who basically ripped Oldscratch a new one–she calmly and deftly rebutted every one of Oldscratch’s arguments. He floundered in the thread after that, Una kept the pressure on, he lost more and more credibility, and the thread finally died. And we heard very little from Oldscratch after that. Una is, of course, a respected poster who is still with us today.

[voltaire]

@Baal_Houtham

:smack: Now that’s the kind of evidence I was hoping for. However, I’ve just learned of a small mammal that can leap over 30 feet in the air – strictly using muscle power. It’s called a “bat” and the documentation is irrefutable. There’s also a large speckled African herbivore that can routinely reach 18 feet.

All this talk of Blake, and then your mention of bats, triggered a vague memory, and yup, it was Blake who made some statements in GQ that I thought I clearly poked some holes in, but there was never a response.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14217472&postcount=19

[Sunny_Daze]

@The_Great_Unwashed

Could you be any more wrong? PROOF!

Ow, ow. My sides hurt.

[August_West]

@Biggirl

Old school oddsters (DORRANCE STEEL HOOK!!!)–There was a poster who loved Engelbert Humperdink to distraction. Wildest Bill, my favorite odd duck to ever get banned. He was just to dumb to continue posting. But nowhere near as dumb as BZ00000 (or whatever his name was). His questions were so stupid, he was banned. Oh, oh! Who can forget Jack Dean Tyler shilling his Tug Ahoy circumcision reverser?

Man, do I feel old.

P.S., if any other old timer remembers the steel hook girl, please refresh my memory. Do you remember her handle?

I came here to nominate JDT, he was certainly uhhh, enthusiastic on the subject of circumcision.

[E-DUB]

Boy, I feel real normal now.

[Guest-starring_Id]

@Malthus

“moncubines”

:eek:

[Malthus]

@Eddie The Horrible

:eek:

That thread was a hoot (literally).

As another poster put it: you need a pimpanzee to deal with your moncubines.

[Spice_Weasel]

@Ravenman

First there was Kozmik. He had problems, but I really liked him. I think one of his main themes was that the New York Times literally no longer exists because Twitter. Also notable for Ask the Conspiracy Theorist. Oh, and that if all leaders of the G-192 came together, some really heavy shit would go down. That’s important, too.

Then there’s the guy – his name is escaping me right now – who started off his time here by asking several silly questions, and signing them, “My friend wants to know.” I think he was hands-down the funniest individual I’ve ever seen on the Internet, and I’m not even counting his obsession with laser discs. A crying shame that he was banned a few months ago.

I met Kozmik in person a couple of times at Michigan Dopefests. He is clearly not neurotypical, but he seems very sweet. He brought me a book he thought I would enjoy. He knows he’s weird and kind of embraces it and I like that about him.

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

[Boyo_Jim]

@Colibri

One of my favorite griffon502 posts. He accused me of supporting marsupials out of political correctness. …

First, they came for the crustaceans, but I said nothing.
Then they came for the marsupials, and again I said nothing.
Now they’re coming for the placentals …

[August_West]

Now that JohnClay has been sent to Coventry, I’ll happily add him to the list.

[Knowed_Out]

Too bad **JohnClay **got banned. I was hoping to convince him all the conspiracy theories he linked were put together by disinformation agents to distract him from the REAL truth.

[Guinastasia]

@Spoons

Interesting to read through the thread–I remember many of these people.

For the oldtimers from 2000, does anybody remember Oldscratch? I don’t think he’s been mentioned yet. He seemed to be a normal poster. So it wasn’t unusual when he posted a Pit thread telling people to tip the bartender:

TIP!!!! TIP!!!! Tip you motherfucking yuppie cheapskate bastards. TIP!!!! - The BBQ Pit - Straight Dope Message Board

Fair enough, and I think we all agree that we should tip the bartender in the US (and Canada). But then things went off the rails, and it turned out that Oldscratch had agreed to tend bar for no wages–for tips alone, in other words. (Working for an employer that doesn’t pay you a single cent? That’s Odd Part No. 1). He wanted to take cash home every night, so there was no paper trail and he didn’t have to pay income taxes. Well, none of us want to pay them, but we recognize why we have to. But why not, in Oldscratch’s case? Because as he stated, at post 58 of that thread, he’d rather spend his own money…

That’s Odd Part No. 2, and we’re venturing into tinfoil hat territory here. But Oldscratch is not done. Suddenly, calculating income and taxes owed is too onerous anyway. Besides, he’s paid too much already:

Doing something in the spring that we gripe about but we all agree we have to do is too much bother for Oldscratch? That’s Odd Part No. 3.

To all the odd parts, others took issue, for various reasons. Oldscratch responded with his weak, self-justified defenses, and the pile-on began. Many disagreed with his approach, but none more so that our own Una Persson, who basically ripped Oldscratch a new one–she calmly and deftly rebutted every one of Oldscratch’s arguments. He floundered in the thread after that, Una kept the pressure on, he lost more and more credibility, and the thread finally died. And we heard very little from Oldscratch after that. Una is, of course, a respected poster who is still with us today.

IIRC, he once admitted to performing analingus on a golden retriever.

ETA: found it.

[Malthus]

@Guinastasia

IIRC, he once admitted to performing analingus on a golden retriever.

ETA: found it.

Well, who hasn’t wanted to eat a hot dog?

[Ducks, runs away …]

[muttrox]

@Robot_Arm

C’mon, somebody else remembers the Grapist, right?

Yes, I do. Never failed to make me giggle. So ridiculous. What a schtick.

I rarely post these days, but this thread brings me back to when I was active. FWIW, I also thought Blake was treated poorly in the cat jumping thread – the opposition was arguing from the conclusion with much less hard evidence. That’s from memory, I’m not going to go back to the thread again.

[steatopygia]

@Guinastasia

IIRC, he once admitted to performing analingus on a golden retriever.

ETA: found it.

Wow. Bet your search engine is a little nauseous after that.

I’ve only been a member for a little while but, I lurked for 10 years or so.

I know tech and such have led to a decline in message boards…

I hope the old threads never disappear.

[dropzone]

@Knowed_Out

Too bad **JohnClay **got banned.

Oh, I thought my thread got locked because of something I said. I did suggest he was acting stupid, after all.

Mr. Potatohead

[Baron_Greenback]

@Guinastasia

IIRC, he once admitted to performing analingus on a golden retriever.

ETA: found it.

Goldens don’t let you jump straight to the rimming, do they? They are quite fussy and needy dogs usually.

Also :eek:

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

@Baron_Greenback

Goldens don’t let you jump straight to the rimming, do they? They are quite fussy and needy dogs usually.

Also :eek:

FeTch, goddammit, feTch!