The "Official" HouDope Thread - Sat, 9-29-01

Yes, I’m starting a new thread for this. But I’ll post a link to the old thread and see if I can copy some of the previous comments. The old thread:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=85096&pagenumber=1

The “OFFICIAL” Minutes for the Houston Dopefest (aka HouDope) meeting for Saturday, September 29, 2001, 6 pm at the Baker Street Pub and Grill.

It began when I (Irishman) rolled in early and snagged some tables. Shortly thereafter, MsRobyn arrived, followed by BigGiantHead who was parking the car. Meaningless chitchat ensued while ordering beverages and confusing the waitress.

At some point, beatle strolled in, and subsequently my friend Brent (a non-SDMB poster but guest at previous HouDope) dropped by. Eventually conversation became focused enough to begin jotting down the notes.

It was mentioned we wouldn’t be graced by the presence of Robgruver. Apparently he got sick. I’m sure he hated that. It was also pointed out that Sealemon and Bubble Girl weren’t there as they were satisfying a previous commitment of caring for their just born daughter. http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=89928

MsRobyn brought up the news of the day that maybe some American soldiers had been caught in Afghanistan (?), but that she wasn’t sure because “Somebody swiped the newspaper off my front porch again dammit!” that will soon if not already be a Pit thread. Nobody was sure what was up with that. The soldier thing, not the stolen paper. Everyone professed innocence on the paper as well. :wink:

One of our previous places of congregation was brought up. The illustrious Ale House has since departed for the great construction project in the sky. It was bought out and apparently the lot is being converted to a parking lot and/or a giant bookstore. Which sparked me to recall that The Ale House was supposedly haunted. “What happened to the ghost? Did she move on? Relocate to the Spaghetti Warehouse (another supposedly haunted Houston locale)? Stay around to haunt the new parking lot?” Someone said there was a rumor the owners were going to relocate and open a new Ale House somewhere. “Will the ghost move with them? I can see it now - The New Ale House, all new location, same old food, same old ghost.”

Somewhere in here TheNerd and Roadrash (formerly CoolDude) meandered in.

MsRobyn mentioned working in health care, on the billing side. It was pointed out that contrary to what one might think, the worst offenders in not paying are actually the insurance companies. Plus they have an obligatory lie three times policy before finally admitting they aren’t going to pay. This, of course, brought up going to court, and hence lawyers.

Beatle then brought up having worked in a private self-owned partnership for a number of years. “In 10 years, we ended up being sued twice and sued somebody once.”
MsRobyn: “That’s actually a pretty good record.”
beatle: “Especially for a business that uses dynamite.”

Scotticher arrived and passed out hugs. Shortly after was her ride, JimB (pronounced “Jim” - the b is silent like in dumb :wink: ) after parking the car. Scotticher picked the chair next to me (I’m so lucky!), little knowing how that would ensure her a prominent position in the meeting minutes.

Scotticher mentioned that she had to have her name pronounced for her. At her first Dopefest, someone asked how she pronounced her name and she said she’d never said it aloud. Never considered vocalizing it until then.

Ayesha and LionSOB finally arrived, late as usual, but not the latest of the bunch. Ayesha walked in with a baby on her shoulder, then as she approached the table she threw it at beatle. [dramatic pause] It was a doll. (whew!)

Next the conversation near me went on to discuss Scotticher’s road trips through Texas, and “doing Texas on the installment plan”. She’s been to Grapevine/Dallas/Ft. Worth, San Antonio and the Alamo, Austin, and now Galveston/Houston. It’s been pointed out if she want’s to go to Amarillo (and the panhandle), El Paso, or Corpus Christi, she’ll have to take herself. I think I convinced her it would be easier to fly to New Mexico, then drive to El Paso from the other side.

Scotticher admits she’s geographically challenged. At first she didn’t know where Texas is located - she thought it was below Arizona and New Mexico. Then she didn’t realize just how big it is. When using a road atlas, states get layed out at whatever scale makes them take up about 1 page. (In mine Texas gets two pages.) This has the absurd effect of making the pages not scale to each other. So her intuitive idea was that all states are about the same size, and the maps confirm that theory. So it only takes about 4 hours to drive all the way across Washington State, so she didn’t realize just how far away Dallas is from San Antonio, for example.

On the ride down from Dallas with JimB she didn’t want to miss any of the sights. JimB - “There isn’t anything to miss.” But she did get to see the prison in Hunstville. That big thing with the towers surrounded by fences and barbed wire? Yep, that’s the prison. And then there’s this huge white statue of Sam Houston in the middle of nowhere (well, just outside Huntsville, but there’s nothing around it but I-45 driving past).

BigGiantHead was carrying on a conversation with one end of the table about going to sea on a submarine. He talked about “angles and dangles”. When the subs launch, they do a quick test to check that everything is properly stowed and is not going to pop loose and make noise, so they do a rapid descend and ascend - thus the colorful name of the technique. And inevitably during this operation there’s somebody sitting on a pallet at one end of the hallway that takes off like a rocket.

Scotticher passed on a bit of wisdom gleaned from the “original” Scottimom - “If you marry for money, you will earn it.”

One conversation I didn’t hear much of mentioned the fascination with “The Dukes of Hazzard”. And a recent reunion movie set in LA. Some tricked out car with powered shocks comes bouncing by, and they of course have to show what real bouncing is.

Food was ordered off and on and consumed in various sequences whenever it arrived. This caused much confusion as there was noisy music and the background ambient was loud enough that we couldn’t hear the server with the food calling out dishes to get them to the correct party. Note to Roadrash - when the food arrives, shut up and listen. :wink:

Somewhere in here Zap Rowsdower (Zap who?) showed up.

On discussing the topics covered by Cecil’s columns, Scotticher admitted that back when she was young and stupid (I fail to believe she was ever stupid, and I thought she still was young) she was gasp reading Cosmopolitan, and came across someone asking the question, “I’m on a diet but my husband wants me to swallow. How many calories does it have?” She commented that the only reason she read the question was because it was so strikingly weird and her curiousity wondered (a) why would you really care, and (b) how would you find that out? The doctor answering the question gave some reasonable guess, and then said something to the effect that the pleasure afforded her husband was probably worth more than the few calories consumed.

People stole Scotticher’s carrots. But they left her celery. (We did not! :wink: ) Don’t believe them. Okay, I didn’t witness it, but I believe Scotticher. (Sucking up enough for you?)

Ayesha asked JimB to switch seats so she could sit next to Scotticher.
LionSOB: “Oh really, dear, is there something you haven’t told me?”
Ayesha: “Yes, dear, have you ever wondered why I call you Michelle in bed?”

In a separate conversation at the other end of the table, Roadrash was overheard to say, “My balls were numb and they stayed numb.” After hours of serious bicycling. “That’s why I took up skating instead.”

LionSOB wants to know if JimB can lick his eyebrows. Not sure why that came up.

Next, the conversation turned to talk about me. ??? Ayesha commented to Scotticher, “He’s got the fastest metabolism I’ve seen. I don’t know where he puts it all.”
Scotticher then leaned over and whispered to Ayesha. Hmmmm. Then she said out loud, “Don’t embarrass him - he’s bulemic.” Thanks. (I don’t know where that comment comes from. I mean, I arrive hungry so I always want to eat right away. Then we usually stay for 5 or 6 hours, so I’m hungry again. :wink: )

Scotticher is a hugaholic. Oh, and she did pass out the hugs for Purplebear as promised.

After reading my notes, Scotticher tells me that she does not have a very dirty mind. She thinks that is believable.

Wild tangent - discussing aging and gray hair. BigGiantHead - “I really like a woman with one streak of gray hair on one side.”
Roadrash: “The Lily Munster look?”

“Irishman told me to write a note, so I’m writing a note.” - MsRobyn.

Scotticher made the rounds. Hugging, man, only HUGGING! (heart) Cheri

BigGiantHead brought flowers for the ladies. Suck up. :wink:

[Inserted note]
BigGiantHead brought roses for the ladies. Since none showed up, he gave them to me, Ayesha, and Robyn! BGH is a gentleman and a scholar. And cute, too! Single Doperladies take NOTE!

Irishman opens the menu.
Scotticher: “What are you doing?”
Irishman: “I’m looking at this.”
Scotticher: “Are you going to eat again?”
Irishman: “Just looking… Well, maybe just dessert.”
Scotticher rolls eyes (in a nice way)

Irishman was told that Ayesha likes hugging JimB best. LionSOB is getting a bucket of water.

Ayesha’s doll has the lovely name Polly Esther. All the men “handled” Polly Esther. Polly got “teaed” on. Poor baby. Then she got stuffed in the bag again.

Irishman got a HUGE bowl of cobbler a la mode. Scotticher informed him that he had best be FAT next time she sees him.

Scotticher informed the group that their presence is required on President’s Day weekend at the Grace/Scotti birthday dopefest. BigGiantHead and Roadrash offered to wear Toga’s and do the “Gator” at said dopefest. (That’s something from Animal House.) Scotti smiled.

The group cleared up Road Rash’s confusion over some screen names - apparently at the last HouDope he attended, he attached the identity of “Ayesha” to Robgruver, and was somewhat confused as to who the lady was at this assembly. He also invited everyone to come see him at the Texas Renaissance Festival.
[/inserted notes]

Bad Bad Leroy Brown was playing on the radio overhead. “Got a 32 gun in his pocket for fun”
Irishman: “Not sure a pocket is the best place for your 32 gun.”
Scotticher: “Probably better in your back pocket, huh.”

Ayesha likes Irishman’s shaved look better. (Let you guess at just what was shaved. :wink: )

[inserted remark]
As alsways, the New Dopers were great company including 1st timers and out of town and out of state visiting dopers.
[/inserted remark] - Ayesha

Right about here, a live band showed up. Well, two guys with guitars and microphones. They started playing even louder. They were pretty good, but conversation became even more challenging. “What?” “I can’t hear you.” “What?”

beatle: “The guys are playing mostly KLOL lineup, the songs are typically by metal bands, but they’re playing acoustic. Still, it’s pretty good.”

Note from MsRobyn:
This has been a great time!!! I really enjoyed meeting BGH, Road Rash, and Zap and Scotti, and seeing everyone again. We really ought to do this more often. Oh, and Airman Doors is here in spirit.
“When Scotti’s happy, everyone’s happy.” Right. :wink:

At some point I had difficulty navigating my way out of my chair. The sides of the back wedged between my neighbors’ chairs and the raised platform behind made for a challenging obstacle course.

Various people did various nasty things with Polly Esther. And took pictures. :smiley:

Cheri says “You people are evil.”

Polly’s drinking all Jim’s beer. And smoking a cigarrette. Shame on her.

Suddenly, we had a new arrival - at 10 pm or so. Captain Nemo made his debut. “Hey wait, I’ve met Little Nemo and you’re not him.” - Doh! (Yep, that was me. Fortunately it wasn’t out loud, and I got it all straightened out in my head before the band took a break and we could hear again.)

Captain Nemo came in from 1960. (which is a state “Farm Road” on the other side of Houston from where we were.

Scotti: “What?”

beatle: “That was 31 years ago, no wonder he’s late.”

Captain Nemo: “I’m looking for a way to use the camera, and possibly the small child [Polly Esther] to hit on the girls behind me.”
Irishman: “Aren’t we all.”

beatle: "Someone wrote ‘Viva Honduras!’ in the restroom. What the heck - ok - Viva… wait! Were they in the Soccer War?

Now there is scribed in the notes a set of curvey lines. I will not try to replicate them with ASCII art at this time. Suffice it to say, it looks like alien space ships or slanted eyes under a bald head. Or, as beatle tells it according to one lady, like “boobs and butts”.

There were a round of pictures taken numerous times to document the group and our activities. At one point, it looked like Scotticher was trying to take a picture of the girls at the table next to us (why I have no idea, that’s just how it looked). I commented on this to JimB. One of the women had a somewhat low cut blowse on. Subsequently, he actually did use Scotti’s camera to take a picture of the girls. He says he was doing me a favor. Right. They noticed.

“Another note from Robyn - Jesus this Band’s LOUD!”
Irishman’s editorial comment: Jesus didn’t do anything about it.

Scotticher note:
I have to say, I think it is really perverted for you all to be taking pics of someone’s cleavage with MY camera. I mean to say, if I felt the need to have pictures of someone’s cleavage I could take pics of my own. And JFYI, I DON’T!

beatle:
Reminds me of my 6th grade acquaintance who one day let loose with “Con’t you wish you were a girl, man? Then you could take off your clothes and look at yourself whenever you want!” Don’t know what became of him.

It’s now JimB’s birthday. 53! (You don’t look a day over 60. :smiley: )
beatle: “Man, I’ll never catch up…”

Scotti: “Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, you’re older than I am, Y’all always will be that, too!”
Jim: “I’m just that much better than y’all too!”
beatle: We look to you for guidance, Jim… you’re leading the way!"
Scotti: “Sheesh - beatle darlin’ - are you REALLY sure you wanna go where JimB leads?”
beatle: “I’m being nice.” :wink:
JimB: “But Scotti and beatle, it is such a good way I’m leading. I’m sure y’all will love it.”

The band next played Hotel California.
Captain Nemo: “And thanks to the SDMB, I know what “colitas” are.”

Ayesha: “These horrible people have corrupted my baby. They gave her beer and cigarettes and took pictures of that too.”
Scotti: “EXCUSE ME! Not me, Ayesha love. It was these… well, nevermind.”

'Night all!

Okay, the notes run out here. About this point we called it quits, split up the bill, Scotticher hugged everybody, and we went our separate ways.

It was a blast. Except for the drive home, when I drove up to 59, wanted to go north but there was road construction on the on ramp and a detour south, so I follow that to the on ramp there, and find myself right behind a car accident on 59 backing up the traffic for who knows how far, and no way off to go around. ACK! 20 minutes sitting on the ramp before finally getting on.

The shindig was a blast. The crew was great. We had 13 people, plus Polly Esther. We missed out on Robgruver, Sealemon and Bubble Girl, and Momapotamus.

Everybody else’s turn to fill in the gaps.

Yea! All the coding correct in one post!!!

Okay, the old thread comments on the conclusion of the HouDope begin here. (First time to try this new gimmick of linking a specific post. Cool.)

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/newreply.php?action=newreply&postid=1663731

Bi-monthly meeting sounds interesting. Let’s see what we can work out.

I can already say the weekend of Nov. 10 is out for me. I’ve got a wedding to attend. No, it’s not mine. My sis is getting hitched - she finally arm-twisted her boyfriend into it. :wink:

Okay, everybody now has to post in this thread. :wink:

Great job, pal!

I’m sure something else will occur to me later, but you caught the gist. You are our Scribe!

Good job, Irishman! And congrats to the Irishsister!

Robin

Spectacular! I had no idea there was so much DETAIL going down in that pad!

Funny to “hear” what people not residing in my head heard the various conversations. In beatle’s response in that conversation about being sued, the only word I caught was the last - ‘dynamite.’ The ensuing burst of laughter makes a lot more sense now that I know the context of it.

Heh. Oh, yeah, BTW Irish, the thing you sit on to ride the passageway during angles and dangles is a “blanket”, not a pallet. A pallet wouldn’t work nearly as well, considering none of the aforementioned passageways are wide enough for pallet passage.

This line cracks me up:

Well, I imagine JimB probably could lick LION’s eyebrows, but I fail to imagine why he’d want to. :smiley:

Lessee, what else? Thanks to Scotticher for the blantant pimping out of me - ooops, I mean gratiuitous compliments. Kind of wasted, because now I’ve found my true love, and she lives aaaaaaallll the way up in Bellingham, WA. So sad. [Insert imaginary kissy-face smilie]

[sub]Side note to beatle… 1960 was 41 years ago. Don’t drink and subtract. [/sub]

I stand by the judgment I pronounced at some point in the evening that the festivities should have taken place somewhere that karaoke is found. A bunch of Dopers drinking for a few hours before showtime would make for a reeeeeally interesting show, methinks.

I’ve also volunteered to be the designated tech goober and post Cheri’s collection of pictures of the event, once she emails them to me. Updates to follow.

Thanks again to all attendees!!!

  • Dave

Very good, Irishman. Great job of notetaking as always.

Taking the picture of the girls [sub]Ok, breasts[/sub] at the next table was to help you out. You were suppose to go over and point and tell them how uncouth I was and that sorta thing. Geez, kids today…

I did manage to beat LionSOB in a game of pool. We played so badly that I wouldn’t exactly call it winning, more like the 8 ball finally fell in on my turn.

Scotti and I got caught in the same problem on Hwy 59 heading back. It was 2am before we got to I-45 and got back to Grapevine at 6am. Scotti stayed awake the entire trip just so she wouldn’t miss anything. She didn’t learn from the trip down.

It was good seeing the ones I had met again, beatle, Irishman, theNerd, LionSOB and my honey, Ayesha plus meeting some new people. Hopefully, I’ll be able to make it down there for another one and I’ll try to get Scotti back, too. Maybe we’ll take the scenic route next time (there is a scenic route, isn’t there?)

I had a great time!
Jim

Sure, there’s a scenic route. It just takes an extra four days and the home stretch is the same.

BigGiantHead, pallet, blanket, I knew it was something like that.

JimB, I thought about going over there and apologizing profusely for the poor manners of my dinner companion, but I’m a chicken.

I forgot all about the pool game. It didn’t make it in my pad, as I think I was distracted at that time.

I’m also sure I missed a fair amount of conversation at both ends of the table. Alas, big crowds ensure one scribe is not enough. Fortunately I passed the pad around and caught a few of the better comments as people thought of them.

As for a “scenic” route, you could take I-20 to I-59 South, then drive that way to Houston. Or you could drive to Austin, then cut over and come in on I-10. Neither of which promises much diversity in the way of scenery. But it would give Scotti a chance to not miss even more nothingness. :wink:

Well, I can joke about it as easily as the next, but I can feel my inner Texan stirring. While mountain vistas may not be our forte (we do have the Davis Mountains, and we even have a hill right here in Houston, down in Hermann Park; built it ourselves, we did), I think the coastal plain has its own intrinsic beauty. A dawn on the coast, watching shards of early sunlight pierce and animate the domains of so many coastal citizens of the non-human variety - you have to see it. I’ll freely admit that it may be for many an acquaintance that takes some growin’ on you to think well of. The piney woods of East Texas (and The Big Thicket) and the desert of the Edwards Plateau, the rolling calm and bubbling hydrography of the Hill Country - its hard to believe the range of environments that meet here (caveat: this all comes from someone who thinks northern Idaho and Southern Mississippi are pretty country).

And that’s all an appreciation of what gets lost in the “miles and miles of miles and miles” without even taking in the history and culture. Of which much can be said. I’ll try to stop.

No, I realize, Michelin probably does not want my resume, but I ::biff::pow:: OK, OK, I know I’m waxing against the tide… ::socko::Get oudda here, beatle!

beatle, it sounds like a lot of driving for one day. :slight_smile:

But maybe the Hill country and on to Corpus. Watch the sunrise over the beach then we head into Houston up the coast. Back thru the Piney woods the next day.

I can go for that. I don’t think we’d better try for any of west Texas on that trip though.

Jim

I’m going to have to have a little talk with the inner Texan about leaving out Corpus and South Padre. As I said, allow an extra four days.

Did anyone check the baby’s ID?

I would like to commend Irishman on his copious and generally accurate HouDope minutes.

I would like to categorically deny, however, the assertion that I thought all the states are the same size. While it is true that I am “geographically challenged,” even I am not enough of a dim-bulb to think that Rhode Island (for instance) is the same size as California (for instance.) I was just a tad bit…confused, shall we say?..about the sheer AMOUNT of difference between the relative sizes of WA and TX. And in case there are any State Troopers out there who are wondering what my usual cruising speeds are, it actually takes about 5 hours to go from the top of WA to the bottom. About the same amount of time as it takes to go from the Dallas area to San Antonio. Only here, after 5 hours you would be in Oregon. There, you would still have a whole LOT of state to cover before you hit the water.

[sub]**Irish, ** sweetie, I really appreciate you NOT mentioning the “small” misconception I had about Idaho. You are a dollface! :)[/sub]

Awww, don’t be sad, sweetie.
I’ve given two weeks notice, sold the house, kissed my friends goodbye, gotten a referral from my hairdresser, cancelled the newspaper. I have purchased a map, had a trailer hitch attached to my car, rented a U-Haul, thrown caution to the winds. As far as I can see, the only thing YOU have to worry about is whether or not you have enough closet space? [insert imaginary Kissy-face WINKY smilie]

Seriously, BGH, my thanks in advance for the posting of the pics. Which sounds like some sort of Celtic ceremonial rite, don’t you think?

In conclusion,I want you all to quit picking on the Texas scenery. I think it is a beautiful state, and I have enjoyed every moment I have spent there. Why parts of it even remind me of my beloved Washington, (the less than perfect parts, anyway!;)) And I bow to your superior knowledge…if you say that West Texas isn’t worth visiting, I promise not to go there. [sub]particularly since it appears that no one is willing to take me there and I would most likely get VERY lost if I went on my own.[/sub]

All kidding aside, I had a wonderful time at the Houston AND the Austin DopeFests. Everyone was intelligent, witty, warm and charming. The ladies are beautiful, the men handsome and the baby was SO good…she never even cried ONCE!

Note to the Houston male contingent…Those buxom ladies at the next table would have been HAPPY to join you guys, except for the fact that while you weren’t looking I “ScottiGlared” at them and they decided that discretion was the better part of valor. Except for maybe…well, there IS that perfume on beatle’s shirt that has yet to be explained…Hmmmmmm…

I would be happy to join the Texas Doper crew anytime, anyplace…ScottiHugs all around, and thank you for making me feel so very welcome! If airfares ever get low enough that I wouldn’t have to mortgage my house, maybe you’ll see me at the next one!

Much Love to ALL…

Cheri

Okay, friends and neighbors.

I finally got the film developed and sent it to our beloved BigGiantHead for processing. Much to my surprise, given the ancient state of my camera, they turned out quite well. Of course, that is mostly due to the stellar quality of what we were photographing. We were a photogenic bunch! So, any griping about delays should now be directed at our honeylove Dave. Hee.

:slight_smile:

And I happen to know that I look really good in one of those pics [sub][sup](Of course it could be that I was so close to Scotti)[/sup][/sub], so he better get them up.

Jim

Well, I already told Scotti, but I guess I need to put up a pre-emptive mention here, too …

Unfortunately, I’ll be moving myself and helping some friends move for the majority of the next couple weeks. That being said, I obviously won’t be having much time to play with pictures or even - gasp! horrors! - let the SDMB suck my life away. NO, please say it isn’t so!

And hey, I’m just noticing there’s no pictures of buxom girls at the next tables in the set you sent me, Scotti! Damn, you really were thorough at keeping us separate from them…

  • Dave
    (who’ll miss you all while I’m gone)

Oh, she’s there, Dave. Just in the background. When I send you the pictures in a larger version you will find her.

And I am sorry, I posted that before you told me you were moving. Take your time, dear. Hope the move goes smoothly.

Much Love,

Cheri