I’ve got this pool out in the back… can ya set me up with Diet Coke? And make sure it’s not that “caffeine free” crap. I need the whole shebang.
Oh, and I’m gonna need something to eat, too. How 'bout some BBQ baked lays. Just a few
tons, that is.
I’d like some chicken wings, and a bag of deep-fried feathers. Oh, what the hell. Toss in a bucket of beaks for the kids.
i did NOT have too much “liquid” lobotomy! MINE came from the fuzzy bunny-man with the big saw!
hello again bunny man…
[sub]WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…[/sub]
clayton, how about the entire contents of the bar? We’ve got everything on backorder anyway. Can I interest you in a liquid lobotomy? They seem to be pretty popular.
Bosda, I don’t care HOW you try to weasel out of it, you’re still getting a fried pig.
rundogrun, of COURSE water is free. Here ya go!
<discreetly slips a drug into the water and takes rundogrun’s wallet after he passes out>
katie…I don’t say this often, but don’t you think you’ve had enough?
No? Well, okay then. One more liquid lobotomy comin’ right up!
hardygrrl, what do you mean SOME funyuns? I hope you mean a whole friggin’ lot of funyuns, because I just took a trip to Sam’s Club, and well…the truck’s out back. I’ll get you your Diet Coke.
scout, a swimming pool, eh? Yeah, I can do that. The tanker truck’s on its way. For the moment, though, your truckload of potato chips awaits you outside. Enjoy!
seawitch, sure thing. I’ll just go start up my Chicken Mutilato Matic and we’ll have your order up in no time.
saepiroth again, eh? MsRobyn, it’s time I called in that favor…
Hm, any discounts for the good old stalker?
I won’t tell anyone, I swear!!!
So…how about some bawls? The drink, for you sick minded people out there ::ahem::
Mmmmmm caffeine[sub]drool…[/sub]
Hurrah, I get caffeine!
And where is this bunny man you speak of? Damn Easter Bunny skipped over my house last year! No candy for me. I’m going to go jump his ass…
Hey Jester, may I have a double shot of Dalwhinie. Straight up. Thanks, Sweetie. 
Hmmmm…
How bout one of them there peanut butter and nanner sammiches… Oh! and a cup of lard!
Oh, do you do layaway plans too? 'Cause I’d really like to get one of those Hefty Bags of Milk Duds too.
So is this your “Official SDMB Concession Stand” certificate? It looks a little … um … odd. Who’s Ceecil Adams?
I think I’ll just have water.
[loud voice]
Hey, everyone! Isn’t that a mama cockroach an’ her babies crawlin’ over this here counter??
[/loud voice]
ok, ok… i’ll stop doing the chaos thinger…
gimme some crispy-fried EVIL, and onion dip.
and there ain’t gonna be no killins to me… i still have that flamethrower…
Having attended the U.S. Open over the weekend, it appears Jester’s prices are actually on the low side!
Greetings, shopier!
I’ll have two garlic pickles, a cube of boullion, a Philadelphia cheesesteak and a hard-boiled dodo egg.
To wash it down, a flagon of Super Shell with Platformate™.
And for dessert a large bowl of unflavored ice milk, please!
Er. . .ahhh. . .I seem to have left my wallet in my trousers. My trousers? They’re hanging over the bedstead.
Perhaps I could just leave you a sketch on one of these here humorous cocktail napkins? No? Then how about a recipe for gasoline pills?
Zappo
I’ll have a Jersey Whore, please. No, the drink.
And my girlfriend, here, wants a slow comfortable screw. No, the drink, dammit.
Mmmmm. Lemme see. I’ll have a Tab.
What? You say I can’t have a tab unless I order something? Okay, let’s see. I’ll have a Pepsi Free.
Huh? Now you say I have to pay if I want a Pepsi? Um…oh, just give me something without sugar.
Oh, and I’ll take the zombie mummy. Strawberry flavored, please.
Forty Zoggie points if you know what movie the above post (sans the zombie mummy reference) is from.
And if you know the TV Show that featured an edible zombie mummy, I’ll also be impressed.
I love you, Jester!!
BTTFII but that TV show, whoosh got me!
Can I trade in Zoggie points for shares in the Official SDMB Concession Stand?
Sure, Jester… whatever you need 
Robin
Ignore that other piker. It’s Back to the Future One, not Two. Where can I spend them things, anyway?
The Edible Mummy reference is from Futurama.
The tradtional form of long pork is listed in Unca Cecil’s column http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_229.html
Boscha is right. So is El Kabong. I suppose, El, you could spend them if the store will honor them. Where’s my alien mummy and sugar less drink, anyway?