Righty tighty- lefty loosey.
Don’t take advice from random strangers on the internet (including this).
Never play poker with a man named Doc.
Never eat at a place named “Mom’s”
Never sleep with a woman whose problems are greater than your own.
Be sure to work out. You’ll always be glad you did.
Try to stay in the same business your boss is in.
Before you sign something, read the whole thing, ESPECIALLY the fine print. “I didn’t know that part was in there!” will not hold up in court. But even if by some miracle it does, you’ve still had to deal with the hassle and you’re still out your lawyer’s fee.
More extensive version, as I heard it:Never eat anything with more than five ingredients, or with any ingredients that you can’t pronounce, or with any ingredients that your grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food.
Don’t use the same password.
Anyone else think that soon we’ll have proper proverbs mentioning online security? Help me out, so far there’s no ring to it…
If something seems too good to be true, it probably is.
I have to add a bonus from watching Judge Judy - don’t loan money to family or friends, unless you’re good with not getting it back.
Trust but verify.
Wherever you go, there you are.
After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.
Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.
Take excellent care of your teeth.
Likewise:
Don’t have a child thinking will improve your relationship; it won’t.
Also:
Sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.
When you marry for money, you earn every penny.
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
There are three reasons a woman will wear a sweater ------- one is to keep warm and the other two are usually obvious.
If you drop a gun or a knife, don’t try to catch it.
Okay, I won’t. Hey, wait a minute…
Never refuse a breath mint.