25 things the perfect guy would do
Hmm. Lets see how I measure up.
1.know how to make you smile when you are down
Check. A certain amount of assumption is required here, of course, but I’m pretty good at this, if little else.
2.try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice
Check. Assuming you mean on your head, though this is negotiable.
Ok, that was really crude. I’m sorry. Really, I am. Not quite sorry enough to delete it, but sorry, nonetheless.
3.stick up for you, but still respect your independence
Check.
4.be so wrapped up in everything else, but still have time for you
Check, but you may wish that you were more specific about “everything else” later.
5.fit his arms firmly around you
Well, that depends on how big YOU are, dosen’t it? But as I’m a pretty big guy, lets assume check.
6.hint that he wants to kiss you
Check, if possible. I offer no promises that you’ll always “get” them, though.
7.his hands always find yours
Check. Assuming that you are within, say, five feet of me. More than that is kinda tough.
8.be cute when he really wants something
Well, I try. Check.
9.never run out of new games to play
Heh. Heh heh. Heh heh heh. MOUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Uh, sorry. Check. Games, I’m good at. Either the kid kind, or the other kind.
10.never run out of good jokes
Haven’t so far. Check.
11.never run out of love
Well, I have several years and a bitter childhood’s worth stored up. Check.
(Why do I DO that? That always freaks people out . . .)
12.be funny, but know when to be serious
Check. Most of the time.
13.realize he’s being funny when he needs to be serious
Can’t swear to this one. I’m not serious very often. X
14.be patient when you take forever to get ready
Check.
15.react so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts
Hmm. Is, “Thank you mistress!” cute? Assuming no. X
16.smile
Check. I’m good at that.
17.kiss you
Check. At pretty much any oppertuity, I might add.
18.try to hide that one stuffed animal when you come over
Do action figures count? Assuming no. X. I do have a little stuffed gerbil-in-a-ball that my sister gave me, but I doubt I’d bother to hide it.
19.act like Mr. Big
Don’t do this nearly enough. X
20.apologize for acting like Mr. Big
Now, THIS, I’m good at. Check.
21.ask you for a pen in class and you know he has one
N/A. The odds that I’ve brought appropriate writing material to a class is pretty low. In fact, that is presupposing that I’m there at all which, is a bit of a strech.
22.blast the music when he picks up the phone
X. Don’t usually play music by itself unless I’m driving or housekeeping.
23.turn it off when he notices that you are on the phone
Assuming the “basic consideration” is the important feature here. Check.
(Basic consideration on your part, would of course include not picking on my spelling. Yes, I’m 25 and can’t spell. I’ve been using word processors for at least 14 years. My handwriting is even worse.)
24.look at you during class and make you get butterflies in your stomach
Oh, so now I’m responsible for your attraction? That hardly seems fair. From past achevements, as Massachusetts’ leading expert on being a “wonderful friend, but don’t look at my body, that would be like having my brother(pause to consider, horrified)–yuck!” I’m gonna have to, unfortunatly, assume a X on this one.
25.hug you on a bad day and the clouds seem to lift
Now this is just blatantly unfair. Not only am I supposed to forcably alter your brain chemestry, at range, without you neccisarily being aware of it, but I’m supposed to influence gross metological phenomina as well? I’m sorry. I’d like to help, but I just can’t promise this.
Well, after careful examination, I am between 62.500% and 70.833% perfect guy, depending on how you feel about sadomasachism and action figures.
I was, honestly hoping for higher. I’d compare it to Oicu812’s “Perfect Girl” list, but I’m honestly afraid I’d score higher on that one.
Note that [I}Sadomasachism and Action Figures* would make a great title for an independant movie.
“I’m 11 weapons and one arm lighter!”
