Heh…
Erie Alien Chant:
Biden would eliminate US borders
By implementing nationwide catch and release
Which I ended.
If it’s okay with you
You know what I did?
You catch them
What do you do?
They’re murderers
They’re rapists.
You catch them
And then you have to release them
This is called catch …
This is a serious …
This was a Democrat program
Headed up by crying Chuck Schumer.
He’s the one.
You catch them …
Crying Chuck.
I’ve known him a long time.
The only time he cries
Is when it’s necessary.
Crying Chuck.
No, no, you catch them.
And you release them into the country.
And you say
In four and a half years
Please come back for a trial
Nobody comes back
A couple of really stupid ones come back
Other than making every community
Into a sanctuary city
And suspending all removals
Of illegal aliens
They want to suspend
In this manifesto
No more moving out
Illegal aliens
Even if they’re really bad
Including no violent criminals
You catch MS-13
Can’t move them out
Thank you very much
We’re living with them
This is what these people want.
Yay!!!
October 21, 2020 – Border Wall edition
Well it’s happening,
And it’s going to happen,
And we’ve done a lot of infrastructure.
You know,
The wall is being built,
And we’re doing ten miles –
Ten miles a week.
We’ll be up to ultimately 520 something miles,
529 miles.
It’ll be completed very soon.
It’s had a huge impact on the –
On the southern border.
The numbers are unbelievable,
The numbers of drugs
And all of the things
That were pouring through
Into our country.
But we’ve now built,
Uh –
We’re getting close to a number
That you won’t even believe,
And we’re doing it at ten miles a week.
It’s a lot.
And it’ll be very quickly finished,
And Mexico’s paying for the wall,
By the way,
Just in case you had any question.
Mexico is paying for the wall.
Chorus:
Ten miles a week!
Ten miles a week!
You won’t even believe it
Ten miles a week!
October 24 2020 edition
From a speech in Lumderton, NC
If Joe Biden and his Democrat socialists gain power,
They will delay the vaccine,
Which is happening.
I mean we got 'em.
They’re coming real soon.
In fact, if it weren’t for politics,
I wouldn’t be surprised if it would have been here before,
But it’s not,
It doesn’t matter.
They’re the Johnson & Johnson,
Moderna.
We have many great companies,
Really great,
Pfizer.
All right there.
Supposedly,
Great stuff,
They’re doing that final test,
And it’s coming.
They prolonged the pandemic.
That’s all I hear about, now.
That’s all I hear.
Turn on television,
COVID,
COVID,
COVID,
COVID,
COVID,
COVID.
A plane goes down,
500 people dead.
They don’t talk about it.
COVID,
COVID,
COVID,
COVID.
By the way,
On November 4th
You won’t hear about it anymore.
It’s true.
COVID,
COVID,
Please don’t go and vote,
COVID.
Please do not,
Under any cir –
You can not go out and vote,
Except the problems are that in Florida,
The people that are going out to vote,
Nobody’s ever seen anything like it,
Because they’re tired of all of this stuff.
They’re tired of such negative –
Hey, by the way,
I had it.
Here I am.
I mean, you know,
[Inaudible] –
And now,
They say I’m immune.
Now, it used to be,
It used to be that if you had it,
You were immune for life,
Right?
For life.
With me,
They say I’m immune for four months.
In other words,
Once I got it,
The immunity went down from life to four months,
So I don’t know.
They don’t know, either.
Who the hell knows?
All I know is that for a little while,
For at least four months,
I can run in there
And kiss every one of you,
Men and women.
I’ll kiss every one of them.
I’ll kiss them.
No, no.
It’s,
Uh,
You know,
You get over it,
And then you’re immune,
And,
You know,
For whatever period of time.
No, it’s true, though.
Didn’t,
You heard for life,
You’re immune,
Right?
I mean,
As soon as I got it,
I said I was immune.
They said,
“Only for four months.”
They brought it down from life,
Because that’s the fake news.
They’re fake.
The cases are up,
But listen to this,
They all talk about cases.
You don’t see
Death,
Death –
Cases,
Cases.
You know why we have cases?
Because we test so much,
And in many ways,
It’s good,
And in many ways,
It’s foolish,
Okay?
In many ways,
It’s very foolish,
Because every time you test,
Like for instance,
Baron Trump.
Did you ever hear of Baron Trump?
He’s a rather tall young man.
He’s tall,
And he’s a good kid,
And he’s strong,
But he had it.
Trump’s Michigan Rag (27 October)
I feel so guilty
You’re waiting out here in the rain
They gave me a hat
I said, You know, they’ve been waiting out here for hours
I shouldn’t put on a hat, right?
They even said
Sir, we have the car
It’s going to take you from the beautiful Air Force One
Isn’t that a beauty?
But, they’re going to take you from Air Force One
I said, I got to walk it
I mean, these people are tough
They’re from Lansing
They’re from Michigan
I got to walk it
I got to walk it
Don’t give me the umbrella
I’m soaking wet already.
But hello Lansing
Hello, Michigan
This was the scene of a great victory
Remember that?
Four years ago
Donald Trump has won the state of Michigan
That was big
It hadn’t been done in decades
But I don’t know if you saw the poll that just came out
We’re up three in Michigan
I think we’re up a lot more, you know
They give you the fake polls
I think we’re up a lot more
We’re going to have a great red wave
People that want to go out and vote
They want to go out and they want to touch
They want to vote
It’s a great red wave
It’s happening in Florida
We’re up in Florida
Up four
Up four.
I’m watching these guys
They way talk
The poll, oh, they’re down 25 in Michigan
I said, No, we’re going to win Michigan
No. No, I kid when I say 25
But they put numbers
They’re called suppression
Suppression polls.
They make you like
Feel badly
So you said to your wife
Or you said your husband
Darling, let’s go out to dinner
And then we’ll come back
We love our president
But you know, the polls say he can win
Well, right now we’re leading in almost everywhere
The real …
We’re leading almost everywhere
[Clap, Clap, Clap!]
Yeah, that one I can almost hear in David Byrne’s voice.
And you may find yourself in a large jet
And you may find yourself in a beautiful white house, with a beautiful fake wife
And you may ask yourself, "Well… how did I get here?
The Godfather Commissions the Hit (Tampa, 29 October)
So this guy goes out, this low life
Well, I never saw him
I think he has a picture of me standing there
Like I do with thousands of people
This low life goes out and he writes a book
By the way
When he left
He had nothing but praise for the Trump
Oh, it’s incredible
Incredible
Then somebody gets him
At the New York Times
The fake New York Times
And all of a sudden
He becomes nasty
And he writes.
And they say
“A top White House official”
Well, he was a staffer
Low
Had nothing to do with the White House
He had nothing to do
And he goes in, and you know what?
There should be major criminal liability for some scum like this
And for a year
Everybody walks into my office
Secretary of State Pompeo
I could name every one of them
All good people
I’m looking at them and say
“I wonder if that could be the one”
And it turns out to be this low life
That nobody knows who the hell he is
He had nothing to do with us
I don’t think I ever met him
And I might’ve met him
I think somebody said he has a picture of me
Standing someplace
This is a disgrace to our country
It shouldn’t happen
And he should be prosecuted
Are you listening to me back in Washington?
He should be prosecuted
Along with the New York Times
Because it was a story made up
It was fake news
Made up by the New York Times
And you know who he works for now?
CNN He works for CNN Right there
See the camera right there
With the light that just went off?
See that, honey?
That red light just went off
Fake news, CNN
And Anderson Cooper asked him
“Are you Anonymous?”
And he lied to him
He said, “No,” essentially.
Said, “No, I’m not”
And he works for CNN
I would think CNN would be firing him for that
But this is a real low life.
You know who else he works for?
Google
He works for Google
I think Google should fire him very quickly
Because bad things are going to happen to him
But think of what he does to our government
Right?
It’s like a horrible, treasonous, horrible thing
That you can do this and you can get away with it.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Trump: Ode to the water cannon
Look at that.
Oh, are they doing that on purpose?
Are they friend or foe? I don’t know.
Actually, it felt good.
I felt water on my face.
I said, “Where the hell is that coming from?”
They may be doing that on purpose.
Let’s find out if they’re friend or foe,
and if their foe, let’s take care of those sons of bitches.
Look at that.
Are you okay?
Oh, look, they’re hitting the press.
That’s okay.
Oh, there go the cameras.
There goes a million dollars worth of equipment.
Look at that.
Wow.
That’s cool, actually.
And I’ll tell the media, “I have nothing to do with that,”
but it is cooling.
I’m feeling a little…
It’s amazing.
It’s amazing.
True. Or Paul Simon’s. An outtake from the Bookends album, perhaps.
Special Election Edition – November 5, 2020
Warning – some statements might not agree with reality.
Good evening.
I’d like to provide the American people
With an update
On our efforts to protect the integrity
Of our very important 2020 election.
If you count the legal votes,
I easily win.
If you count the illegal votes,
They can try to steal the election from us.
If you count the votes that came in late –
We’re looking at them
Very strongly.
But a lot of votes came in late.
I’ve already decisively won many critical states,
Including massive victories in
Florida,
Iowa,
Indiana,
Ohio,
To name just a few.
We won these
And many other victories
Despite historic election interference from
Big Media,
Big Money, and
Big Tech.
As everybody saw,
We won by historic numbers.
And the pollsters got it knowingly wrong.
They got it knowingly wrong.
We had polls that were so ridiculous,
And everybody knew that at the time.
There was no blue wave that they predicted.
They thought there was going to be a big blue wave;
That was false.
That was done for suppression reasons.
But instead,
There was a big red wave.
And it’s been properly acknowledged,
Actually,
By the media.
They were,
I think,
Very impressed,
But that was after the fact.
That doesn’t do us any good.
We kept the Senate,
Despite having twice as many seats to defend as Democrats.
And in a really –
Much more competitive states, we’ve –
We did a fantastic job with the Senate,
And I think we’re very proud of what’s happened there.
We had many more seats to defend.
They spent almost $200 million
On Senate races
In South Carolina
And Kentucky alone –
Two races –
And hundreds of millions of dollars overall against us.
At the national level,
Our opponents’ major donors were
Wall Street Bankers
And Special Interests.
Our major donors were
Police Officers,
Farmers,
Everyday Citizens.
Yet for the first time ever,
We lost zero races in the House.
I was talking to Kevin McCarthy today.
He said he couldn’t believe it:
Zero races.
Very unusual thing.
Zero.
And actually won many new seats with,
I think,
Many more on the way.
…
Democrats are the party of the big donors,
The Big Media,
The Big Tech, it seems.
And Republicans have become
The Party of the American Worker,
And that’s what’s happened.
And we’re also,
I believe,
The Party of Inclusion.
…
We were winning
In all the key locations
By a lot, actually.
And then our number started miraculously getting whittled away
In secret,
And they wouldn’t allow legally permissible observers.
We went to court,
In a couple of instances,
And we were able to get the observers put in.
And when the observers got there,
They wanted them
60,
70 feet away,
80 feet,
100 feet away –
Or outside the building
To observe people inside the building.
…
It’s a corrupt system.
And it makes people corrupt
Even if they aren’t by nature,
But they become corrupt;
It’s too easy.
They want to find out
How many votes they need,
And then they seem to be able to find them.
They wait and wait,
And then they find them.
And you see that on Election Night.
We were ahead in votes in North Carolina
By a lot –
Tremendous number of votes.
And we’re still ahead
By a lot,
But not as many
Because they’re finding ballots all of a sudden.
“Oh, we have some mail-in ballots.”
It’s amazing how those mail-in ballots
Are so one-sided, too.
I know that it’s supposed to be
Yo the advantage of the Democrats,
But in all cases,
They’re so one-sided.
We were up by nearly
700,000 votes in Pennsylvania.
I won Pennsylvania by a lot,
And that gets whittled down to –
I think they said now we’re up by 90,000 votes.
And they’ll keep
Coming and
Coming and
Coming.
They find them all over.
And they don’t want us to have any observers,
Although we won a court case.
The judge said you have to have observers
Likewise, in Geor- –
And they’re appealing.
Actually, they’re appealing.
We won a case
That we want people to watch
And we want observers,
And they’re actually appealing,
Which is sort of interesting.
I wonder why they’d appeal –
That all we want to do is have people watch
As they do the vote tabulations…
Likewise,
In Georgia,
I won by a lot –
A lot –
With a lead of over –
Getting close to 300,000 votes
On Election Night in Georgia.
And,
By the way,
Got whittled down,
And now it’s getting to be
To a point
Where I’ll go from
Winning by a lot
To perhaps being even
Down a little bit.
We also had margins of 300,000 in Michigan.
We were way up in Michigan;
Won the state.
And in Wisconsin,
We did likewise fantastically well.
And that got whittled down.
Every –
In every case,
They got whittled down.
Today,
We’re on track to win Arizona.
We only need to carry,
I guess,
55 percent of the remaining vote –
55 percent margins.
And that’s a margin
That we’ve significantly exceeded.
So we’ll see what happens with that,
But we’re on track to do okay in Arizona.
The Poetry of Donald J. Trump – Special Thanksgiving Edition
On behalf of the entire Trump family,
I want to wish every American
A healthy and very happy Thanksgiving.
We’re here today
To continue a beloved annual tradition:
The official presidential pardon of a
Very,
Very
Fortunate turkey,
Because Thanksgiving is a special day for turkeys –
I guess,
Probably for the most part,
Not a very good one
When you think about it.
The first turkey to dodge
The White House dinner table
Received unofficial clemency
When President Abraham Lincoln’s son,
Tad,
Begged his father to spare his new friend.
For the past 73 years,
The National Turkey Federation
Has presented the National Thanksgiving Turkey to the President.
Starting under President George H.W. Bush,
These birds have received a formal pardon every single year.
Today,
It is my honor to present to you
This year’s lucky bird,
Corn,
And,
Just in case we needed him,
Cob.
Corn and Cob.
That’s not too hard to remember, is it?
These two magnificent gobblers
Were selected from the official presidential flock of 30 turkeys,
Some real beauties.
They were raised by the Chairman of the National Turkey Federation himself,
Ron Kardel.
Ron –
Thank you very much,
Ron.
Please, stand up.
Great job.
Ron,
Thank you for being here,
And your family –
Beautiful family.
Thank you very much for being here.
Appreciate it.
Like so many presidential flocks,
This one started in the great state of Iowa
In what can only been described as an act of blatant pandering.
And,
by the way,
I love the state of Iowa.
These two turkeys
Sought to win the support of Iowans across the state
By naming themselves Corn and Cob.
After today’s ceremony,
These birds will retire under the care
Of skilled veterinarians
At Iowa State University,
A tremendous university in Ames.
Once there,
People of all ages
Will be able to visit them
And learn about
Poultry science,
Veterinary medicine,
And the noble American tradition of farming.
We love our farmers,
I’ll tell you.
And we hope
And we know
That’s going to happen –
That Corn and Cob have a very long, happy, and memorable life.
…
And now it’s time
For the moment
Of our guests of honor.
They’ve been waiting,
And,
In this case,
He’s been waiting for this.
And bring them out.
Look at that beautiful, beautiful bird.
Oh, so lucky.
That is a lucky bird.
Corn,
I hereby grant you a full pardon.
Thank you, Corn.
What a bird.
Thank you.
Iowa farm.
I knew I liked you.
That’s great.
Beautiful.
Happy Thanksgiving to everybody.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, everybody.
Have a good one.
The Poetry of Donald J. Trump – Special Dow Jones edition
Well,
Thank you very much,
And I just want to congratulate everybody.
The stock market –
Dow Jones Industrial Average –
just hit 30,000,
which is the highest in history.
We’ve never broken 30,000,
And that’s just –
despite everything that’s taken place
With the pandemic.
I’m very,
Uh,
Thrilled
With what’s happened on the vaccine front.
That’s been absolutely incredible.
It’s –
Nothing like that has ever happened medically,
And I think people are acknowledging that,
And it’s having a big effect.
But the stock market’s just broken 30,000 –
Never been broken,
That number.
That’s a sacred number,
30,000.
Nobody thought they’d ever see it.
That’s the 9th time since the beginning of 2020,
And it’s the 48th time that we’ve broken records in –
During the Trump administration.
And I just want to congratulate
All the people
Within the administration
That worked so hard,
And most importantly,
I want to congratulate
The people of our country,
Because there are no people like you.
Thank you very much everybody.
Thank you.
Would that Trump’s Presidential pardons stop with Corn and Cob!
LOL, Brilliant!