How do you titilate an ocelot?
You oscilate its tit a lot.
You can’t make a vitamin
I’m gonna gargle before she sits in it
What’s black and white and green all over?
You send down four skin divers.
Rustlin’.
Squatters.
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What’s the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
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Are you a duck? (Hi MaxTorque!)
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I’m not even sure that’s a real punchline. If it is, I don’t remember the joke.
When I said I didn’t recognize a lot of the punchlines, I meant it. Those are pretty much the only ones I know. 
Sorry, I’m dumb. Mods, could you lock this thread? I’ll just C&P the above into the proper thread.
Uh, thanks.
People who live in grass houses shouldn’t stow thrones.
I don’t know, but my butt is sore.
I sure as hell didn’t ask for a 1 foot pianist.
What, you’ve got a golf course in there?
goodnight, Gracie.
as the actress said to the bishop.
Ah, but does the lightbulb want to change?
none, they just sit around hoping it’ll come back on.
One to screw it in and one to screw it up.
One to change it and two to argue about whether the new one is as good as the old one was.
Unity.
One to change it and 399 to blow up the ship from shame.
None - that’s a hardware problem.
Fish.
Information available on a “need to know” basis only.
One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all of the credit.
One, but at the same time three.
How many can you pay?
Psst, Peter. You should go post the jokes in this thread now…
/shamelss self-promotion
Worst Joke Ever. Thanks Car Talk.
The squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
So I said, “I’m over here dad”
Gagging noise only