She’s probably spent her entire life passive-aggressively refusing to do anything she doesn’t want to do, and it’s worked for her in that people eventually get tired of it and walk out of her life. Hopefully she’ll find that it doesn’t work with the Courts.
More Hugs and Prayers for you from me, norinew.
Hoping for the best for you.
I’ve got my fingers crossed for you (and prayers, if you want them). {{{norinew}}}
You should include your own experience, but actually you should elaborate on it more. Explain that your own experiences give you unique perspective on how much this will affect your daughter, since your own abuse still affects you to this day; then also mention that this has re-traumatized you in your own recovery as well. Move it later in the statement, but definitely include it, and expand on it. Feel free to email me.
Good luck tomorrow–you’ve been amazingly strong through this whole thing and your family is lucky to have you.
I agree. That makes for an effective and knowledgeable statement, and if I can do anything to help I’d also be glad to.
As always, my hugs and support for you all.
FWIW, I’d go with your later suggestion, concentrating on mudgirl’s reactions to the incident first and then expanding out to the rest of the family.
Just tossing in a ditto with Opal and Marley. Speaking as a survivor of childhood abuse and of an attack as an adult, there are lingering consequences. This does have an impact on you and that’s what this statement is for. Give it its own space and expand on it.
Your family is in my thoughts and I wish you all the best. You’ve been a good, strong mom and should be proud of yourself.
Just adding to the well wishes.
You and mudgirl will be in my thoughts tomorrow.
{{{hug}}}
I’m so glad that the wheels of justice have ground forward in this case. Best of luck tomorrow!
But I’m so sad that mudgirl has been crying about this - I suppose it was too optimistic of me to think that with her handling it well at first, it would mean that it would stay that way. At least she’s not bottling it up. You’ve raised her so well.
I must admit, now that my initial anger has faded somewhat, I do feel bad for Punk 1 and Punk 2. Not that I don’t hope for a strict sentence tomorrow, but I can’t comprehend how terrible their upbringings must have been for this to have been the result. I spent today browsing the DYFS website before going to an information session about adoption/fostering, and the sheer number of children who were listed as needing to be an only child, continuing anger management classes, or homes without pets, was terribly depressing.
norinew, I think you’re simply amazing! This is all so awful, and you’re setting your daughter such an example of strength and fierce love. I’ll be thinking of you today and hoping that you and mudgirl can feel the support of your family and friends and the SDMB surrounding you in court.
Another one for “do move the mention to your own childhood assault, but do mention it.” As the ADA told you, mudgirl ins’t the only victim here.
I do hope and pray that your family and those two boys get out of this in the best possible way (they need, badly, the sort of guidance their own families aren’t providing).
Just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you all.
Say whatever feels right, because it will be right- you’re saying it out of love and concern for your daughter and it’s coming from a place of righteous anger.
All the court needs to hear it that this has affected everyone in your family in a negative way so speak the truth the best way you know how.
Perhaps if she ends up in the slammer, perp2 will end up in foster care. Might be either the shock to get him straight or fuck him up even further …
Good luck today norinew…
I haven’t posted much but I think of you and mudgirl. Hits close to home, y’know…
Sending good thoughts and prayers your way today.
Good luck!
I have been following this saga since you started that first thread months ago, norinew, and I am really glad to hear that things are progressing. You and your family have been in my thoughts since that time.
My wife is a social worker, and I have had to hear way too many times about situations like this. Fortunately it seems like you have been exceedingly strong and courageous for your daughter, and that will end up being a huge help for her in the long run.
I’ll be thinking about you guys today and sending vibes of strength and calm.
Hope all goes well.
Like the others, I’m glad that everything is working out for you and for mudgirl.
I hope that wherever these boys end up, they’ll straighten up and get the help they need.
Robin
Best of luck. You’re an amazing mother.