It took 19 posts for the most iconic Burn’s line?
Exce…
Nope, not even gonna say it. It’s ruined now.
I could crush him like an ant. But, it would be too easy. Revenge is a dish best served cold. I’ll bide my time until… oh what the hell, I’ll just crush him like an ant.
“Release the hounds”
[QUOTE=h.sapiens]
“Let the fools have their tartare sauce.”
[/QUOTE]
This is my personal fav besides
See My Vest, See my vest.
“Have the Rolling Stones killed!”
[QUOTE=ShibbOleth]
I could crush him like an ant. But, it would be too easy. Revenge is a dish best served cold. I’ll bide my time until… oh what the hell, I’ll just crush him like an ant.
[/QUOTE]
Similarly: " Tangle with me, and I’ll crush you like a paper cup!"
Then he tries to crush a paper cup, and fails.
“I haven’t been this impressed since I first laid eyes on a young bootlick named Waylon Smithers”
“Well, take your mind off contaminants for one night and have a hot dog.”
“Ah, the new Packards we’ve been hearing about”
Plus his bit on what stocks to buy to get his fortune back- amalgamated spats, etc.
“Ketchup… Catsup… Ketchup… Catsup…”
Use it every time I buy some.
From the one with Homer’s BBBQ:
Burns: “Smithers I’m thinking about donating some money to the orphanage…when pigs fly!”
[Homer’s pig flys past the window]
Smithers: “Will you be donating that money now sir?”
Burns: “No…I would still rather not.”
From a Halloween episode where Mr. Burns is a vampire:
Mr. Burns (over an intercom): Welcome! Come in! … Ahh, fresh victims for my ever-growing army of the undead!
Smithers: Sir, you have to let go of the button.
Mr. Burns: Well, son of a —
[QUOTE=Gangster Octopus]
“Have the Rolling Stones killed!”
[/QUOTE]
‘But sir --’
‘Just do it!’
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn]
Plus his bit on what stocks to buy to get his fortune back- amalgamated spats, etc.
[/QUOTE]
“Confederated Slave Holdings, how’s that doing?”
“You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste!”
From Last Exit to Springfield, when Homer needs to urinate:
“Now Homer, I know what you’re thinking. I want to take the pressure off. Now, it doesn’t take a whiz to know that you’re looking out for Number One. Well, listen to me, and you’ll make a big splash very soon.”
[QUOTE=Otto]
“Is it about my cube?”
[/QUOTE]
Damn you. This is my favorite.
My wife, in fact, will occasionally preface a discussion with “Can I ask you a question?” to which I will respond with “Is it about my cube?” in my best Burns.
[QUOTE=Tristan]
Damn you. This is my favorite.
My wife, in fact, will occasionally preface a discussion with “Can I ask you a question?” to which I will respond with “Is it about my cube?” in my best Burns.
[/QUOTE]
I used to do it when my wife handed me the phone.
And I have used “Ahoy hoy?” when answering the phone on occasion.
From Who Shot Mr. Burns:
“Smithers had thwarted my earlier attempt to take candy from a baby, but with him out of the picture, I was free to wallow in my own crapulence.”
I occasionally tell people who ask what I did on the weekend, that I was wallowing in my own crapulence.
(When driving his own car for the first time)
“Look out for me! I’m a motorist.”
“Thanks for not making fun of my genitalia.”
From Lady Bouvier’s Lover
Smitten Woman: I swear, Monty, you are the devil himself!
Burns: [angry yelling] Who told yo --[catches himself] oh, ho ho, I, yes, yes, well, I’d say you’re an angel, but angels don’t dance like that.
“Doughnuts? I told you I don’t like ethnic food!”
“And all this time I was smoking harmless tobacco.”