So I need a metaphor for the astonishingly bad levels of suckage acheived by the Washington Redskins so far this year. Who do I turn to? Of course, it’s you folks.
So help me out here. How does one adequately describe the way this team is playing two weeks into the season?
Any and all are encouraged to contribute. God knows I’m stuck for a suitable pungent turn of phrase.
And, as a bonus question, what’s the over/under on when Marty Schottenheimer rips Jeff George’s throat out with his teeth?
they suck like a black hole.
they could suck a golf ball thru a garden hose
They suck like a filet of suck deep-fried in a big vat of suckoil with steamed suck on the side and a 16-oz. glass of carbonated suck to drink.
It’s so tough to be a Redskins faithful fan… 
:rolleyes:
…But I’m determined to stick it out!
so…
Hail to the Redskins!
Hail Vic-to-ry.
Braves on the Warpath
Fight! for old, DC!
Run or pass and score
We want a lot more!
Beat 'em, swamp 'em, touchdown
Let the points soar!
Fight on! Fight on!
'til you have won,
Sons of Wash-ing-ton
RAH RAH RAH
Hail to the Redskins
Hail Vic-to-ry.
Braves on the Warpath,
Fight! for old, DC!
(STILL proudly wearing the marroon and gold)
I like that one. I’m going to appropriate it to describe the California Golden Bears football team. (You may have heard of them, they actually are a Division I NCAA team, seriously. They play in the Pac-10. No, they do, really. Steve Mariucci used to be their coach! They went to a bowl game once. Really! sigh . . .).
A former DC area resident’s opinion:
The Redskins this year suck as bad as…let’s see…as bad as they have sucked for the last 12 years or so?
Okay, okay. How about this one:
They could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
they c/d suck a dog off a meat truck.
OK…
The Redskins have officially reached Suckpoint Delta.
Um… They’re suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked. (Apologies to H.S.)
They suck like Al Michaels.
The Redskins suck like a hoover on steroids.
The Redskins couldn’t possibly suck worse if they were turned completely inside out by pulling them through their own anuses. (ani?)
Nah, there really is no way to describe it sufficiently.
It pains me as a life-long Redskins fan, but:
Redskins football: It’s sucktacular
The Washington Redskins: Even the Texans could beat us. This year.
Redskins football: High school quality at NFL prices
Redskins: Only the coaches are past their prime.
Lemme get this straight. You’re talking about a football team in Washington D.C., and throwing about the word “suck.” Am I the only one seeing the obvious here?
They suck like an presidential intern.
It had to be said!
And if anyone can come (oops) up with a more poetic wording of that, I’m all ears.
Jonathan, my friend - you don’t need a metaphor, you need the SuckWagon!
Yes, the Last Train to Sucksville, the Manifold Miseries Tour, the Deadskins Suckmobile (hey, why settle for just one name!) is coming your way. Hop on and revel in the depths our beloved Redskins have sunk to!
I mean, I’ve been watching the Redskins since 1966, IIRC - when they had no defense and no running game. But at least they had Sonny Jurgensen and three excellent receivers. I’ve suffered through Petitbon’s season as head coach, and Norv’s six seasons, some of which were pretty bad.
This has the potential of being much worse. So it’s time to forget about winning, and embrace the suckiness of this terrible season. Join us on the Luge to Hell, as we admire the Redskins’ ability to be demolished by good teams and bad alike. At least we’re enjoying the ride! 
RT, you are a poet, a voice of your generation. Yet more proof that we are putting the wrong people on ESPN.
You think I’ll give up that easily RT? It is to laugh!
Here. I think I’m happy with this one:
Redskins = Rs = GM/c2
That’s the formula for determining the Schwarzchild radius of a black hole.
Scientific. Miserable. Filled with suckiness.
And don’t make me tell you how old I was in 1966.
Those DC Barons of the Blow Barometer are making even the Cowboys look like Rosa Parks on the suckbus.
And the Redskins just cut Jeff George.
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
This Eagles fan will gladly offer this metaphor:
The Redskins suck as bad as Dallas does. 
Go Eagles!!!
With Tony Banks as a replacement? Bad IMO.
Also, they signed Kent Graham.
pfft. Hehehehe.
He’s the guy who made Kordell Stewart look like Joe Montana. And he couldn’t take the starting job away from Kordell in 2 years in Pgh. even though Kordell has some very lofty claims to suckiness himself.
If only.
I so wish that were true.
But I’ll put money, even up, on the proposition that the Redskins will lose twice to the Cowboys this year.
If the two teams are equally sucky, then of course the chance that Dallas will beat the 'Skins twice is only 1/4.
But if the Redskins were to suddenly be as good as Dallas, it would be a major improvement.
Jeff George: well, so much for the Redskins’ QB controversy. :rolleyes:
The great thing is, the poll on this Washington Post page. It asks, “What’s the longterm solution for the Redskins at quarterback?” and gives the choices:
a) Tony Banks
b) Kent Graham
c) Sage Rosenfels
d) A player to be named later.
So far, (d) is winning in a landslide, amongst the Post’s readership.
Just nine months ago, the Redskins had two QBs who had had success as NFL starters, over the course of at least one full season. Now we’ve got zero - even assuming we land Graham.
I’d say somebody’s been doing a shitty job as GM.
We gotta get you to use the {sup}{/sup} vB code, Jonathan:
Rs = GM/c[sup]2[/sup].
But I beg to differ. The Redskins suck so bad that, rather than getting sucked into a black hole (which would be fitting and just), they could suck a black hole into them.
The link to the Washington Post page with the poll is here.