Well, damnit, the party is getting good, and there aren’t enough women here, so I thought I’d order a goat for you fellas who might be so inclined. Damn shame of it all is that I don’t have any experience in getting the arrangements taken care of. Every goat party I’ve been to has been set up by someone else. Anyone have any tips? Speak only if you’re into rampant bestiality!
So far this has been a great party, Mr. C, but I can tell you are itching for a little something…extra. I know you are too nervous to make the arrangements yourself, so I tell you what. Why don’t you make an announcement to the group and ask if anyone knows how to get a goat? If nobody says anything right away, I’ll step forward and offer the details.
Thanks for writing them down on this sheet of paper. I had no idea it was so involved. Are you sure you have the money for this?
hmmm…I wonder what Mr. Cynical and Bottle of Smoke are discussing over in that corner? No doubt they’re pining over their lost loves again.
Hey…good news everybody. The police just left. On with the thread!
…thank you, officer, I promise, we’ll keep Coldfire under wraps, that drunken idjit!
And, please, take these doughnuts. Rundogrun just made them. These here hamburgers, too.
Thanks for the help, Officers. We’ll try to keep things under control. Sorry you had to make a trip all the way out here. And thanks for letting poor rundogrun go. He didn’t mean it. When he said:
I’m sure he was just kidding.
Yes, sir. I’ll make sure he doesn’t drive himself home.
Well! Now that’s what I call a night stick! Point that thing at someone else! In fact, officer Friendly, why don’t you show it to Silver Fire!
Well hello there, Mr. Officer!! My, what a nice… gun you have. 
Say, do you use regular handcuffs or do you have those cute fuzzy ones? Because there’s this thing I’d like to try…
Damnit!!! Who’s been eating my cream donuts??? I haven’t even iced them yet!!!
Oh…I see now…
::dumps tray of donuts in front seat of police car; pours in pot of coffee for good measure.::
Oh, uh, hi officer…Hey! Lemme go!
::Yells:: Get out of the donuts you stupid cow, geeze it’s getting so you can’t even take your dairy herd anywhere"
::Sigh:: All I wanted was some fresh milk for my coffee, was that too much to ask for!!!
Keith
Ummm, guys? Someone’s pulling up the driveway…
It’s the cops! Quick, hide the goats! Mr. Cynical, put that thing away! Hey, Bottle of Smoke, hide this in your pants for me… It’ll only hurt for a minute, I promise. Okay, calm down everyone. Just let me do the talking…
Is this your card? … See? I told you I have magical powers. Maybe next time, you’ll believe me.
All right who let the Genie out of the bottle, and why is it dressed like Geena Davis at the Oscars. Who am I , here’s my card, it’ll explain everything.
Crap, I hear sirens…I’m outta here
Hey, we could get some of the strippers from the hen party thread - maybe get them to dress as police or something…yeah, that’ll separate the men from the boys!
Nukeman emerges from the broom cupboard just as the police kick down the door, runs round the corner shouting-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH DIE YOU MUTHERFUKING PIGS!!!
BLAM
BLAM
BLAM
BLAM
BLAM
BLAM
BLAM
BLAM
BLAM
BLAM
click
click
click
He then realises that its a BB gun. with no pellets.
… So then I said, “Just put it on my bill!” LOL Wait… That was a duck. Or something. Ummm, nevermind.
Hey, any of you see Nukeman anywhere?
hey silv, you never told me how you paid for the halowe’en costume without your wallet…
With a gaping, blood-gushing hole in his gut, Demo says, “I’m sorry guys, I tried to stop the cops…”
And dies…
Hey, you’re not fooling me! I can see rihgt through you! Hey! I can see right through you…demo, are you meant to have that hole in you?
I just got shot! I’m fine though, really. Damn pigs…