Hey, I never said it was a requirement. I figured that people’d be hanging out this Nu Yeers/Christmas, so why not give 'em a chance to meet, before they meet? Whatever you put is up to you. The only requirement is that if yer a hot SF that you leave your number for me to leave a message!
<cliche warning>
Some say it is better to have love and lost than to never have loved. </cliche warning>
Yeah well, I’m sick of losing. . .
Tripler
I hereby declare myself Falcon’s ‘fling on the side’ 
Silver Fire said:
Well, as a practical matter, I suspect you’d be uncomfortable when I met your parents and it turned out they and I remember all the same things.
On the other hand, we might be able to get Daddy-Daughter Discounts. 
(I like your sig, by the way. :))
Tripler dear…you already KNOW my number!
And who knows…I may let Nym have dpr and take you all for myself instead. 
Really? Me too. (Daddy-Daughter discounts. Hehehehe… )
Be still my beating heart!!
Jeezus, Falc, don’t tease me like that!
Trip
No, wait, please do. I get a kick out of it!
Who said I was teasing?
C’mere…smooooooooooooooooooooch!
Age: 29
Sex: Male
Location: Portland, OR
Occupation: Computer Administration
Race: Hook Nosed Bagel Eater
Just what am I supposed to say here? Bear my soul to the twisted though process of whatever angry loner that happens to peruse, either by accident or by intent, my “personal” ad? Should I list my wants and desires, needs and hopes? Just what in the hell is going on here? Fine, I’ll play your sick game.
I want to be dressed in a rubber frogman outfit (like the WWII demo teams wore) tied to a chair and interrogated by a large breasted chainsmoking dark haired woman wearing a vintage (or reasonable replica) of an SS Officer uniform while smacking my face with a riding crop and speaking in a really bad German accent. During the course of the interrogation I want her (you) to begin to refer to me as “daddy” and blame me for every bad relationship you have been in and every promotion you failed to get, while occasionally removing an article of clothing and flashing me her (your) underpants which should be white boxers with red polka-dots (black and yellow is an acceptible alternative). After a time the actual “torture” should begin with the cutting away of my rubber SCUBA suit by using a dull and rusty straight razor (I’ll provide the rubber suit and razor, you provide the SS uniform and riding crop), sometimes making a little jagged cut in my flesh (I have recent tetanus boosters, and am in top physical condition other than my smoking habit) and pour a lemon juice/vodka mix over the cuts while you let small alchoholic mice lap up the blood/lemon/vodka mix (again I’ll provide the alchoholic mice). The totrure culminates in you forcing me to look at photo scrap books of all your former lovers and talking about how good they were in bed compared to me, but you will phrase it more in-direclty, ie: “Oh he was so well equipped…you have a nice size too baby.”. And will continue this until I begin to cry and beg to be killed, at which time you will “mercy lay” me and then complain that your uncle was so much better.
Please, no weird’ohs or fattys.
A little about me:
I’m a somewhat introverted extrovert (ENFJ), I have a bachelors on Philosophy and another in Psychology and am considering a third in Theology. I work as a Computer professional 9-5 (well 8pm-5am actually) and have had an active career as a self employed graphic designer, interior office decorator (I picked colors and art to inspire productivity and calm) and have done some studio modeling (mostly old gay men who find it less expensive/shamefull to buy a paintbrush and hire a young man to get naked while they pretend to paint rather than just go buy a gay porn.). I like dirty jokes and funk music (as well as folk music, I suppose I just like things that begin with the letter “f”.), I enjoy fine dining and am a trained sousse chef as well as pastry chef (not for a career, I took in the hobby because women will spread for a good meal) who enjoys all apsects of the art of dining in or out.
I live an active lifestyle an while I do drive a “sports” car I do not do it because I am having “midlife crisis” I do it only because I am poorly equipped in the lower regieons. All in all I’m a great catch ladies!
pax.
I so wish that were true.
grumbles curmudgeonly, then goes back to not bothering anyone
That leaves ME out. On BOTH counts.
It gets better the older you get. The assholes start dying off in high school and get below critical mass by the time you are forty. Probably earlier, but I am slow on the uptake.
Anyway, because I am so slow on the uptake, I didn’t realize until it was too late that some of those “out of my league” girls in high school actually might have wanted to go out with me. Which would explain their actions. But I was too down on myself to realize it at the time. I don’t want you people to go through that BS. You all have something to offer in a relationship. By definition, Dopers are smart, witty, and fun. Those who are not in school mostly hold steady jobs (and you ladies who have reached a certain age can attest how rare and nice THAT is in a potential date!) and many are doing both. Few are alkies.
Do you people realize just how attractive those qualitites are? These are the things grownups look for in their mates. Barbie/Ken doll looks are fleeting. Far more important is being able to stand being around a person for decades on end. That is where Dopers shine.
So get out there and mingle.
SWM 21 6’0" 175lbs., Pasadena ISO SWF (out of college)
Can’t even type my age correctly. Attracted yet, ladies?I’m 22, not 21 blush.
SWF, 20, ISO . . . well . . . SM . . . um, I’m not all that picky. Hell, at this point, I’d settle for a replacement “someone to be obsessed with from afar”.
Well, i guess i know what league i’m in then.
Ladies,
If I can mention, you have the potential to see Europe or Asia within the next 5 years, free of charge. Travel? No problem. Exotic lands? Not a problem at all . . .
Travel, free medical and dental, and some other benefits I don’t even know of yet. . .
Tripler
And it’s lovely that you’ve done so. Alas, I’m not 40. I’m 23 and 346/366 years old.
Oh, and more about me for enquiring minds:
I love telling jokes and I love hearing new ones. I’m very sarcastic. It’s a defense mechanism, I suppose. Like Chandler Bing. Online I’m bold and brazen. In person, I’m a bit shy unless I know the person.
For example, if a cute girl is sitting at the next table at a restaurant, I’d probably be too paralyzed with fear to actually speak to her or even glance in her general direction. If a friend introduces me to that same girl at a party, I have no troubles carrying on a conversation. It’s weird. Don’t ask me to explain it, I can’t.
I love to cuddle. I love giving massages. I love Science Fiction so you’d better not roll your eyes and groan when I tell that to you. I love the Simpsons. I play bridge on occasion, lowering the median age in the room by a good decade or two. I play chess. I used to play Magic: The Gathering. I also work out on occasion and take a combination Shaolin/Kempo/Karate class. I play the harmonica poorly and the guitar even worse.
I tell you all of this semi-nerdy stuff because I think it works better that way. You know the truth. And knowing the truth is half the battle [sub]G.I. Joooooooe[/sub]
Well, I don’t like to admit this … but I cheated on my SD Entrance Exam. Yes, that’s right; I am neither smart, witty, nor fun. (Especially that last one.) Nor do I think I will ever be able to hold a steady job, due to my horrificly overpowering incompetence and fear of failure.
Er, wait, I said I wasn’t going to bother anyone anymore. My appologies.
wanders off
Love Pets–check
body builder not necessary–check
must take pride in personal appearance–shit
no loudmouths–as long as loudmouth doesn’t equal high post count, I should be all right
Finances not a concern–thank the lord!
must be able to hold a job–she didn’t say what KIND of job…check
Intelligence and sense of humor a must–UH, OH!
tatoos, body piercings OK–n/a.
Hmm. Michi, can a suitable number of Limoges get you to overlook some of the above?
If you don’t mind cyanotic spheroids…:eek:
“He is deformed, crooked, old and sere,
Ill-faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind;
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.”
–The Comedy of Errors, Act 4, Scene ii
[sub]But I’m really misunderstood…[/sub]
Hey, how come all the single people get all the fun!