The Sean Spicer Comedy Hour

The BBQ Pit
41

They understand all those things. They just don’t care.

Trumpists LOVE this. Sixty million people believe everything Spicer says, everything Conway says, and everything Trump says. Right now tens of millions of people really, honestly think there was a massacre in Bowling Green, KY perpetrated by terrorists. I am being absolutely, literally serious here; there are, in the United States of America, right now, more people who believe in the Bowling Green Massacre than there are residents of the State of New York. Many of them will tell you they remember seeing the reports on TV. You’re making the terrible mistake of assuming that when Spicer lies, and is caught in the lie, that’s a bad thing for him and for Trump. It’s not; it doesn’t matter, because they’re not selling truth to you. They’re selling truthiness to Trumpists and business is fantastic.

Spicer/Conway et al. can’t walk back from their lies because it’s part of a narrative, and they have to stay consistent to ensure the story allows the Trumpist to suspend disbelief. If Spicer were to outright admit being caught in a lie it would be like Bryan Cranston in Season 3 of “Breaking Bad” suddenly turning to the camera and saying “Hi, I’m Bryan Cranston. I’m a professional actor pretending to be a meth dealer. Here, let me introduce you to our crew.” The truth would ruin the story.

42

I will admit at least Spicer had a sense of humour about it.

43

I can already picture O’Donnell as Bannon yelling something to the effect of “Ohhh, piss boy! (fingersnap)” to summon Baldwin as Trump to cower and apologize for keeping the boss waiting.

44

Och but a woman is tougher than the man. That probably stings.

45

Spicer could walk, any time he wanted to. So, tough shit for him.

46

Spicer probably has to ask permission to take a dump. Hence his rigidity at the daily Telling Of The Lies.

47

Sucks to be him then :smiley:

48

Comical Sean is going to be there at the last, defending Trump no matter what:

“It’s perfectly normal for a man to walk about with his underpants on the outside. Mr. Trump is a trend-setting fashion mogul. You press people are all just jealous of him! And yes, Trump’s recent executive order that everyone has to own a zebra is a good way to create jobs. Next question.”

49

C’mon, Man. That shit was funny.

50

I don’t think I’ve laughed as hard at an SNL sketch since Baldwin’s Schwetty Balls.

51

“Alternative horse.”

52

Rosie O’Donnell has volunteered to play Steve Bannon.

53

Sean Spicer’s phone number and home address are available to the public.

54

Also his Twitter password, if he hasn’t gotten around to changing it since the last time he tweeted it out.

55

Lil Sean said today that he hopes that Coretta Scott King would have favored Jeff Sessions’s nomination as AG.

56

If only there were some sort of correspondence that’s been made public regarding Mrs. King’s deeply held opinion of Jeff Sessions. Oh well, guess we’ll never know.

57

I would love to see SNL do a skit of the ghost of Mrs. King smacking him upside the head.

58

He can certainly hope that. I hope I win the Lotto Max on Friday, too. I hope I can lose ten pounds on a diet of beer and nachos, and I hope I learn how to do the Jedi Mind Trick. It’s not a lie to hope for the hopeless.

59

Last week, Baghdad Sean said, “I think it’s hard to ever say something was successful when you lose a life”, concerning the Yemen raid. Today, he said, “The action that was taken in Yemen was a huge success”.

60

To be fair, they *did *kill a lot of women and children.