The "Second-Thought About the Fuckin' Thing" Thread

The BBQ Pit
1

No, not the other Pit thread I posted today “You Fucking Fucks” but about tonight!

A few weeks ago I started a thread about why some men can’t understand the meaning of the words “casual dating”.

Blah
Blah
Blah

I won’t go into all that again, other than to say that timing, fate, and sparks have worked their magic and I have just been seeing one of the three guys mentioned in my previous thread. Everything is good.

My kids are gone tonight, my house is clean, we are going to dinner then I suggested he join me in my favorite Friday night, work week de-stressing activity - kicking back in the hot tub with a few glasses of wine.

My sheets are clean, my bed is made, and my evil mind has planned the strategy to jump his bones.

At least until just a few minutes ago when I got an e-mail from him. I won’t C&P it here, but it began:

"I can’t wait to see you tonight. . . ".

It went on to say things that were sweet and mushy, but THEN the dreaded words:

“Here is a story that I really enjoyed. I hope you like it as much as I did.”

There, underneath his letter to me was one of those God awful, tear jerker, STUPID MUTHA-FUCKIN stories that people keep passing to everyone on their e-mail lists. This one, as far as I could tell since I had to stop reading or otherwise puke, was about a glass of water a woman gave to a man, a man who later grew up to be the doctor that saved her life. She was poor and didn’t know how to pay the bill, but when it came it had a zero balance and a note that said “Paid in full with a glass of water.”

Or something like that.

UUUUUGH!!!

How can I, in all good Doper faith, have sex with a man who FORWARDS THIS KIND OF CRAP!?!?!?!?!

2

Sounds like Chicken Soup For the Soul.

I was listening to the tape of that book when I was driving and I heard the story about the kid who had a terminal disease, but always wanted to be a fireman.

While he was dying, the drove the fire truck up to the hospital, raised the ladder, and all the fireman came in through the window in full dress. They gave him his own fire helmet, a special plaque with as an honorary fireman.

When he died the fire department came top the funeral (again in the truck,) and tolled the fire bell for his death.

Boo-hooo! I was crying so hard I almost wrecked, even though I knew the story had to be fake (as if a hospital will let you just drive up in a truck and come in through the window, sure.)

Anyway:

This stuff is like a virus. Your guy just caught the bug. It’s not his fault.

Perhaps you’ll be able to think of some way to distract him?

3

You’re just going to have to make the decision: is having your itch scratched worth the effort that may be required to train the guy right?

That’s assuming you want to keep seeing this guy for the forseeable future. if it’s not going anywhere, you can simply treat him as a himbo, screw his brains out, and ignore his sap emails.

4

I guess I’m the dissenting voice here. Anyone who forwards glurge is irredeemable. I’m sorry, Diane; it might have been a beautiful relationship. But some things are just too much to stomach.

5

tough call. on the one hand, (no, you’re probably tired of the one hand, which is why you were looking for a guy, right?)

damn.
My problem is that folks who send that kind of glurg often take other things (like casual sex) way too seriously, too.

I dunno.

hate to have you pass up a good time, but you don’t want that sort of stuff clogging up your mailbox.

6

I hate when that happens. Everything’s going right, the relationship is coming together, and then just when you are ready to take things to a new level the other person commits that murderous slip-up that makes you suddenly see him or her in a whole new (uncomplimentary) light.

Glurge = two strikes against him? Or three? Hard to know.

I say put him on probation. Let him know that there are some types of behavior that are simply outside the bounds of human decency. Then give him a good workout in bed and see how he stands up to the wear and tear. After that, assess and reevaluate. :slight_smile:

7

Sounds to me like he could use it.

Dr. J

8

It sounds like the sap is running full tilt. The glurge that is “Chicken Soup” is so toxic that his mere aura may disrupt sane though at twenty meters.
[li]Bad News: Sane thought is disrupted.[/li]
[li]Good News: Sane thought is disrupted.[/li]Hope you have some fun!

9

'Scuse me; trying to shrug on my PollyAnna outfit…

Maybe the guy is just new to the 'net, fumbling but trying to impress someone who’s a high-octane, intelligent **babe[/]?

Maybe he’s one of those genuinely sweet, whole-hearted souls who is street-wise in other settings, but just doesn’t shine in this one?

Then again, maybe he’s just someone who doesn’t mesh.

Shit, Diane, if nothing else your life ain’t boring!

Wandering off to dust the thimble collection,
Veb

10

Ooops…problem with bolding.

Blushing, retreating in confusion,
Veb

11

Since I cannot bear the thought of Diane having sex with anyone but me, I’m going to vent on the glurge.

I made the mistake of telling my SIL one of my email addresses before Wife had one of her own. Now she keeps sending me lame jokes and touching stories–forwards of forwards. I tried to redirect them to Wife’s account, but SIL laughed evilly, told me I wasn’t getting off the hook THAT easily, and sends them to BOTH!

Okay, easy with mine. Since they’re duplicates I just erase them without viewing. But Wife has found an easier way of dealing with them: Daughter and I are compulsive about the whole you got mail thing, even when we know what’s in there. When we get sick of watching the new message count grow we go in there and paraphrase the messages for wife. We even reply in her name! But those multiple levels of forwards are not handled well by Outlook Express and some of these need to have all the layers of forwarding peeled away before we can see the message.

The latest will never be opened: “Angels - I believe!” with nine, count 'em, NINE levels of forwarding.

Just don’t get me started with angels.

12

Never one to kiss and tell, I’ll just leave y’all with a ;).

Damn, I am really going to hate it if I have to break his typing fingers if he keeps sending these “forwards”.

Well shucks, :::blush::: I take that as a huge compliment coming from you Veb!

13

Does he have a hot bod? :wink:

14

Easy,

have sex with a man that cuts through the crap. That seems more straightforward than forwarding crap. :wink:

15

It’s OK, if you’re just using him for his body, but let him know that in advance. He’s weak mentally.

16

Diane, Diane, Diane! Not only did this man forward you glurge–he did it in an e-mail that contained legitimate thoughts (I assume) from him!

It is not as if he sent you a mushy, gushy, touchy-feely “I can’t wait to see you and rub you with hot oil…” e-mail and then later turned around and thought, “I’ll just forward this mushy, gushy, touchy-feely e-mail forward to that really snazzy chick. She might like this!” He included the crappy glurge in a private, “I"m a regular guy…” e-mail!!

I just hope that whatever you guys did, it wasn’t too unforgettable for either of you because, Diane, what were you thinking???

17

I met him at the heath club where he is a personal trainer. :slight_smile:

Very nice guy, he just needs a lot of work in the e-mail area. . .

:::sob::: but WHY OH WHY did it have to be one of those STUPID tear-jerk stories?!?!?!?

Oh, and he is coming over next week to stain my deck. :smiley:

18

BWAAAAAAA HAAA HAA HAHAHAHAHAHHHA!!! wheeze

I am SO lucky that I drink water instead of something sticky like coke…thanks for helping me clean the dust off my monitor, Diane.

This has got to be one of the all-time “Phrases that sound dirty but really aren’t.”

19

So that’s what the kids are calling it these days.

Dr. J

20

Stain my deck? Are you sure you don’t mean you’re gonna “strain his dick?”