Undoubtedly, a lot of restaurants and manufacturers misuse the term gelato in this way, but proper gelato is denser than most American-style ice cream, which typically contains a lot of air. Gelato often has a lower fat content and should not be stored or served as cold as ice cream.
Does God’s refrigerator contain microwavable burritos?
Can God stand there with impunity and hold the door open? That was practically a cardinal sin in my house growing up:
“Close the damn refridgerator door! What’re you waiting for, the Second Coming?”
Okay, so how do you explain thunder and lightning? How about tornadoes? Hail is obviously God’s icemaker on the fritz.
Thanks for the offer of the tickets Shibb. But Boston? Me liking them? Not so much. But it was still nice of you to offer.
I keep Pilsbury Popin’ Fresh Cinnamon Rolls (with icing!) in my crisper drawer. That way if I were to accidentally put some actual vegetables in there too, I won’t forget them. I’d just move them aside when I was after my cinnamon rolls (with icing!) and say “Huh. Vegetables. I’ll have to remember to eat those before they go off. Or just throw them away sometime.” I don’t know where God keeps his Pilsbury Popin’ Fresh Cinnamon Rolls. With or without icing.
God drinks Coke Tiger. Regular Coke. He keeps the Pepsi for Purgatory. It seems fair that way.
And he puts his toilet paper over the top Shirley. He just has to close His door when he has kittens around.
God probably holds his front door open too plnnr. Cooling the whole neighborhood. Probably even has every light in the house on too. That’s so like God.
-Rue. (Aquinas)
Popin’ Fresh? It that some kind of Catholic thing?
Does God cry over spilt milk?
“Let there be refrigerator light.”
Well of course! He invented them, you know. It also has fresh packaged pasta and frozen pre-made pizza dough.
As for the crisper drawer, if you actually saw your veggies and ate them in time, what would you put in the composter? God has a plan - it’s just not always evident.
There is no expired food in God’s fridge - St. Peter is in charge of dealing with it.
I prefer to think that, since there are obviously NO preservatives in God’s fridge, stuff would HAVE to go bad from time to time. So every once in a while god gets him a passel-o fridge cleaning angels, which I believe are a subsect of one of the lower choirs, and they all have a leftover casting out ceremony. wherein the following sorts of things are frequently overheard,
“Does anyone remember when I Created this cole-slaw?”
“WOW! This is Lucifers old lunch tupperware, I am SO not opening this in here.”
“Remember when you caught Michael using your flaming sword to spread the mayo on his MLT, and he said it was to conserve energy and toast the bread at the same time, and you were trying so hard to stay mad and not laugh. Man that kills me every time I think of it.”
ok, since we’ve established that the fridge up the bloke Upstairs probably does have items that go off, i have a few questions…
what does he do if something is one day past the ‘best before’? will he eat it anyway, or will he decide to discard it?
also, d’yo think he keeps marmite in the door, hiding it from all those who seek the almighty’s yeast extract in the cupboard?
so many questions!?!?!?
I wonder if God’s refrigerator has one of those shelves for eggs? You know, the kind that have the little molded wells so the eggs don’t go rolling around and come falling out when you open the door, where they smash onto the floor, splashing your fuzzy blue slippers with bits of shells and stuff that will harden if you don’t wash your slippers right away. If He has one of these shelves, does he have one that holds one dozen eggs or two dozen? Do you suppose He might keep an ostrich egg or two in case he wants to impress houseguests with a huge omelette in the morning?
How do you suppose he likes his eggs? I mean the chicken kind, not the ostrich kind. I’m guessing sunny side up so He can mix the yolk around with His toast. I know I would do that if I were God. Or maybe get some cheese and ham and English muffins and make a homemade Egg McMuffin.
If St Peter is in charge of dealing with the expired food, is he also in charge of occasionally moving the refrigerator out from the wall to clean the dust and the two Twix candy bars God had put on top to save for a snack sometime but fell behind the fridge when He put that 12-pack of paper towels from Costco up there? Would St. Peter eat them, even if the chocolate had melted and the wrappers were covered in dust? Or would he throw them away?
I like the idea of God chilling out on some beach in the Carribean but I’m not thrilled with the idea of maybe seeing in His Speedos.
** * Rue! I think I love you! * **
Uh, seeing Him in his Speedos. blush
Tikki - I can’t believe you didn’t know that in Heaven, there is no gunk behind or under the fridge. Ever. That’s part of what makes it Heaven!
Like, who’s got the nerve to send God the light bill? Not me!
If things do go bad in God’s Fridge, do they become Satan’s by default?
These questions are far more interesting than anything I ever had in religion class. Theology and Appliances.
When I read this, I thought you were saying God drinks Coke Tiger - a new and intriguing Coke flavour.
“What does God need with a refridgerator?”
Could God have a refrigerator so large that even he couldn’t stock it?
Doesn’t “Lucifer” mean “bringer of light” or some such?
Fern Forest asks:
“…or a starship?”
Actually I thought it was “bringer of Bud Light…”