The Sign in Front of This One Church (With Extra Blasphemy!)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

Do you know what’s great about the Rue threads?

I’ll tell you what’s great about the Rue threads, and you all better listen to me, because I decide what’s great around here. Or maybe I decide what’s manly. I forget. Anyway, this is what’s great about these things:

Rue keeps drawing in new people.

That’s it. That’s what’s great. New members, lurkers, people who have been around a while but have never just gotten silly, everybody. He just sucks 'em right in.

That’s what’s really great about these things.

For a while there it was just the usual suspects, and I was afraid that we were starting to get a bit insular and exclusive. I was afraid that people were a bit apprehensive when it came to posting, like they felt they were “intruding” on a private club, or something equally silly. A couple of weeks ago, however, “new” people started to poke their heads in, and these things got a lot more dynamic and fun.

This thread seems to be breaking things wide open, and I like it.

So, I made a deal with myself. I’m taking this week off. Not that I think anybody will care so much, but just because I want to step back and look at one of these somewhat objectively, and sort of remind myself of why I was drawn into this in the first place.

Have at it, folks. Entertain the rest of us lurkers. Be sure to include as many amusing hijacks as possible. I’ll be reading, and I’ll be back next week.

Unless you guys politely invite me to stay away. Which is possible.

Was that sufficiently disjointed?

42

No, that is just not possible. He has a membership to Sam’s Club and Costco. He’s got enough frozen chicken breasts to last him until the big Ragnarok Cookout.

No Ex! Don’t leave. We need you in these threads. [sub]For some reason I forget right now…[/sub]
-Rue. (bulk buyer)

43

Do you know what’s great about the Rue threads?

I’ll tell you what’s great about the Rue threads, and you all better listen to me, because I decide what’s great around here. Or maybe I decide what’s manly. I forget. Anyway, this is what’s great about these things:

Rue keeps drawing in new people.

That’s it. That’s what’s great. New members, lurkers, people who have been around a while but have never just gotten silly, everybody. He just sucks 'em right in.

That’s what’s really great about these things.

For a while there it was just the usual suspects, and I was afraid that we were starting to get a bit insular and exclusive. I was afraid that people were a bit apprehensive when it came to posting, like they felt they were “intruding” on a private club, or something equally silly. A couple of weeks ago, however, “new” people started to poke their heads in, and these things got a lot more dynamic and fun.

This thread seems to be breaking things wide open, and I like it.

So, I made a deal with myself. I’m taking this week off. Not that I think anybody will care so much, but just because I want to step back and look at one of these somewhat objectively, and sort of remind myself of why I was drawn into this in the first place.

Have at it, folks. Entertain the rest of us lurkers. Be sure to include as many amusing hijacks as possible, and be nice to FairyChatMom. I’ll be reading, and I’ll be back next week.

Unless you guys politely invite me to stay away. Which is possible.

Was that sufficiently disjointed?

44

I’m just posting this to inform anyone who cares that I have turned off the “resubmit on error” dingus in the whatcamacallit on this thingy here.

See, this is like one of those Heisenberg-type experiments that only works if I don’t mess with it, or something.

Okay, okay, I’m leaving.

Sheesh.

45

It picked both versions?

WTF is going on here?

I’m not posting anywhere until I figure out what happened.

46

Ah yes, the superposition of the two possibilities, these things can happen in a quantum environment. I wouldn’t fret too much about it.

47

It’s obviously Him sending you the message not to leave, Exgineer, through Furridiah, the Hamster Prophet! :slight_smile:

48

Yes.

But then he would stock it anyway because he’s God.

49

Ya know this is a kind of ironic thread today. We just got back from NJ … had to go to Parallax’s grandmother’s funeral. It was Russian Orthodox… different than all previously attended generic Catholic funerals.

But the sermon wasn’t particularly comforting. The priest spoke at length about how God had taken Grandma because he decorated his house with things he loves and now Grandma is one of those things. Um … frankly God you should have plenty of ‘decorations’ … Grandma has great grand babies on the way she really wanted to hold! And I really don’t want to become an ornament. And now I find that we’re all destined to be God’s fridge magnets!:eek:

I guess though if I have to be on the fridge I should be one of those silly magnets that makes noise when you press it and I want to be holding up the bingo schedule from 1994 :slight_smile:

50

I’m glad God has seen Rock City. It’s such a cool place. I didn’t know anyone outside of Western NY knew about Rock City. I have pictures of me there, pretending to hold up that one rock. You know the one, it’s on the postcard. Everyone takes the same picture.

It seems like I should say more in this post, but somehow my brain is all out of tangents today. Must be trigonometry stole them all. listens to everyone groan

51

I knew we were in for puns like that when you first decided to sine up – I can see, can’t I? :wink:

52

tanookie, decorations? How warm and comforting…
Like maybe God is very symmetrical in his decorating habits and had a Grandma hanging on one side of the fireplace and needed another one to balance that out?*

  • (no disrespect meant to parallax or his grandmother, of course. I’m sorry to you both for your loss.)
53

… but why would He want to microwave Goodness?

54

No, I think that’s the Metatron’s job – God’s voice, y’know, in certain religious circles (not mine, but I’ve read about it). It sounds like he’s already the one to do God’s dirty work (can God have dirty work?), so I figure he’d be the one to make sure the fridge is in good shape.

What I want to know is what about our fridges in heaven. Specifically, how will we stock them? Will they have heavenly supermarkets? More importantly, will the heavenly supermarkets have Haagen-Dazs? (Well, it’s heaven; they’ve got to have Haagen-Dazs.) But how will we pay for all the lovely calorie-and-fat-laden-but-never-causing-weight-gain goodies? Will everything be free, or will we all have unlimited bank accounts? Or will heaven be so cool that we’ll be like God in that we’ll be able to just wish for something and it will appear?

Forget angels dancing on heads of pins. These are the important theological issues.

-stargazer (Hung up on food. Again.)

55

You know how when you get an urgent message you stick it on the fridge so you won’t forget it? Anyone know how we can get a message on God’s fridge? I want the message to be about how God needs to give Rue a bit of a rev up about being a lazy bum and only entertaining us on Mondays. I think God should MAKE Rue post everyday. My days would be much happier if he did and God wants to make me happy right?

56

Oh and could we add a p.s on the bottom of the note reminding God to tell Rue that mango-kiwi ice cream would be yuck cause the feathers would stick in your throat. Of course if Rue meant kiwifruit that’s an entirely different matter :wink:

57

Y’know, I’m bettin’ that the light in God’s refrigerator never goes off. And, I’m thinkin’ it’s probably got a nice golden hue to it, like in all them paintin’s, and such. Do ya’ spose one a them beams o’ light pinpoints whatever He happens to be in the mood for, when he opens it?

58

No. God offers them a chance to repent. Of course if they don’t repent. . .

My faith is totally ruined. All these years people talking about the Light of God and it’s just the Light in God’s Fridge.

Exgineer. Good riddance you trashy - uh, erm. Please come back to us, Ex. You’re the only one I can make fun of. Everyone else is too witty for me.

59

But kiwi, I do post everyday. See? Here it is another day and here I am posting. You get your wish. Aren’t you lucky?

And God wouldn’t have to worry about the feathers for two resons:

  1. He has lots of black raspberry juice to wash it down with if He were to half-swallow a feather.
    &
    B. I was talking about the shoe polish. No feathers there. [sub](What? Really? Are you sure?)[/sub]

I mean:
B. Yes, I was talking about kiwifruit.

Oh great!So now God takes us for decorations? So does he put us under bell jars to keep us clean? Or is there a Dusting Angel? Or does he just let us get all hairy until He can’t stand it anymore and He takes a leaf blower to His study? So many questions.

I think God would have the egg trays with the little dips in them so the eggs won’t roll around and fall and crack. One of those dozen and a half jobbies. That’s what I think. But here’s the twist: everytime God opens His 'frige, his egg tray is stocked with just the eggs He wants. He opens His 'frige for ostrich eggs, there they are. He opens his 'frige for hummingbird eggs, there they are. I think they would default to chicken eggs though. Not white or brown eggs, but those pastel eggs that one chicken lays that I’m not going to Google for right now.
-Rue. (posting every day)
P.S. I saw that view/ post ratio and I’m not happy. 20 to 1? There’s a LOT of people reading this and not contributiong. So knock it off and post already. Like it’s SOOOOOO hard. Sheesh.

Newbies, Lurkers, get on it. It would make Ex happy. Then he might not abandon us this week. Do it for Ex folks!

60

Ya know Rue I asked Parallax (in church … we’re blasphemous souls) about the dusting. I could just see me up on some shelf all tipped over and covered in dust. With my luck I’d be on some table covered in old mail. Do they have junk mail in Heaven? ‘Halo polishing services $9.99’ ‘Harp tuning and restringing … call for free estimate.’ :slight_smile:

Oh and Salem we’ve made plenty of jokes :slight_smile: If you don’t laugh you will surely cry! He must have really needed a Grandma quick considering the unfair way he killed her. Apparently … according to the priest… God loved grandma so much that he wanted to add her to his collection in heaven. We surmised this is why deaths seem to come in threes… God takes us on the Danbury mint collectible plan! :eek:

Someday I really need to pin down a priest and ask him why that is supposed to make me feel better about someone being dead!