If Heidi Klum married Don Ho, she’d be Heidi Ho.
If gay marriage between two people of different sexes became legal, Ellen DeGeneres could marry Sir Ian McKellen and be Lady Ellen McKellen.
It’s not legal now? 
Ditto. That one took me a minute.
If Oscar Wilde married lyricist Tim Rice, he’d be Oscar Wilde Rice.
If the most famous anti-gay person married the most famous out gay singer on their shared birthday of March 25th, she’d be Anita John.
If Israeli singer Hanna Aroni married San Francisco’s most famous football player, she could hyphenate her last name and be Hanna Rice-Aroni. She might even be regarded as a San Francisco treat.
Sailboat
If she married Huey Long, then divorced him and married Andy Dick, she’d be Anita Long Dick.
If Gloria Steinem married Bobby Riggs, she’d be…Gloria Steinem. And probably widowed.
Sailboat
And if she married Jack Black between Huey Long and Andy Dick, she’d be really unpopular with her core audience.
If the lead singer of Jefferson Airplane was adopted by the Amazing Randi prior to marrying (in some order) Ozzie & Harriet’s grandson Gunnar, a former president of South Africa and Boxcar Willie, she would be [wait for it, wait for it…]
Amazing Grace Slick Willie Nelson Mandela.
If the Clinton’s divorced and she married the man she claimed she was named for but divorced him for his sidekick, headlines would read Hillary Hillary to be partner in Norgay marriage.
Since Anita’s first husband was Bob Green, it’s too bad she didn’t marry Andy Dick after she divorced him.
Anita Green Dick
An environmentalist?
Or moldy from not enough use?
For St. Patrick’s Day?