The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Garden Gnomen

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
181

Our cats think no one should ever use the bathroom without the comfort of of company. Fuzzy, staring feline company. It freaks out guests.

I explained that I have seven husbands to my manager on Tuesday. He thinks everyone needs a Dishwashing Husband. This is true- everyone does.
Rue, I think you need to look up a comedian called Stuart McLean, and see if you can find an audiofile of his story ‘Galway the Cat’. Something like that. It’s incredbly funny. ‘Dave Cooks a Turkey’ is pretty damn funny, too. He does books and readings about Dave, the owner of the Vinyl Cafe, the world’s smallest record store. The licking thing just reminded me.

Staurt McLean lives in Toronto, I think.

I read my second ever piece of fanfiction yesterday. I feel like a real internet nerd now.

Mr. Lissar is still sick but recuperating. I’m going to loaf today till work. I grocery shopped, cleaned the kitchen, and cleaned out the hall closet yesterday. Today I refuse to do anything useful.

182

Today? I refuse to do anything useful every day! Besides the short-skirt-alert level, I mean. That’s just all-around essential.

And since I mentioned it…
Short-skirt-alert level for today:
Green - Wearing a dress, but it’s a full-length dress, so my spectacular gams are hidden from the world. And that’s a good thing - don’t want to dilute the effect of their beauty by displaying them every day. Dress is really cool - it’s blue-green, and it has this kind of looks-like-a-painting effect on it. Would post a picture, but not sure the effect would come through. Oh, and the reason the short-skirt-alert level isn’t blue or purple is because there is still embarrassment potential - dress has no sleeves, so the bra is always trying to sneak out and wave to all the nice people.

Predicted weather for my vacation spot for the first day of my vacation:
Partly cloudy, high of 82, 20% chance of rain. We’ll see how that changes as the day gets closer. It’s just so exciting that my vacation is close enough that the time actually starts to show up in the 10 day planner!

Susan

183

Taters, thanks for the tip on the hills. We’re both in shape, but it’s good to know what we’re getting into.

Ashes, actually the place I’m thinking of (La Jolla Village Square) is right next to Interstate 5. You get off at Nobel drive, hang a left off the off-ramp, and the first left is the entrance to the shopping area’s parking lot.

184

I wouldn’t mind having a Dishwashing Husband. I hate washing dishes. Or I could just get a dishwasher–that’s less trouble in the long run.

185

Poop-gap may be my favorite new phrase.

Boss: What the hell is this?
Me: It’s just a poop-gap measure until we get the real parts in.

President Bush: If we don’t fill the poop-gap, the terrorists (or is it extremists now?) have already won.

Captain: Looks like there’s a hole in the poop deck. (aarrrrgh)
Sailor: Aye, cap’n. Watch out for the poop-gap. (yaarrrrrgh)

Holy crap! Look at all the posts I have! I didn’t even notice I passed the 1,000 mark until this morning. Does this mean I’m not a newbie anymore? Am I a cool kid now? Could I already be a winner?

186

Hey susan I want to ask you a Cooking Light question. I can’t access their bulletin board anymore, and when I go to the site it says I’m blocked because my subscription expired (it did).

Did they change their policy so that the message boards are now subscriber only? I don’t remember hearing about that, and I’m slightly miffed.

–one pissed peanut

187

Mr. Taters, aka Taters Lurker got his first taste of a dangergene post last night! Hi dangergene! Anyway, the hubby finished reading the post, shook his head a couple of times, and said “Wow! You’re right! He’s wa-a-a-a-y caffinated!”

I want a Cooking and Cleaning House Husband. Do you have any spares Lissla ? That way I could play.

My bra keeps trying to play peek-a-boo today too. I have “gap” issues, not severe, just every once in awhile. So, I keep looking down at my shirt because I feel very self-conscious. I’m sure everyone keeps thinking that I like looking at my chestal protusions.

One more work day after today then vacation starts! What’s better is that the weather is supposed to very nice at least during the first week of my vacation. That’s a good thing because we’re going camping again. This time we’ll be up at a mountain lake. A good time will be had by all, I’m sure.

Swampy, please be a luv and pick me up some Absolut Vodka. We don’t have liquor warehouses here. OUr liquor stores are all state run, so we call them George Stores.

Oh, and by the way Swampy,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR SWAAAAAAAMPY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUU!!!

I have to work now… :frowning:

188

These would be the chesticles, right? If there was an official policy change from chesticles, I didn’t get the memo. Probably happened on a Saturday or Sunday (I only post on weekdays, and miss all the weekend MMP fun.)

189

Awwwww… thanks Taters! MWAH Even it ain’t officially my bday til tomorrow. However, July 29, 1954 was on a Thursday if that helps any. I think knowing what day of the week you were born on is something everybody should know. Not that it’ll get ya anything special but you can tell folks you know the day of the week you were born. It’ll impress your friends.

I decided not to get the fixins for “Knock You Nekkid Margaritas.” See, after I looked at all the beer and wine I was buying, I thought, “Wow! That’s a lot of beer and wine! We don’t need anything else.” It was one of those spur of the moment executive type decisions I make from time to time. Impressive huh? Anyways all the libations are at my house now and I am here at work doing some work stuff in between goofing off here. I am not in a work mood. It’s hot and I have a headache for some reason today. I need to be in my pool. That would cure my headache. I know it would.

taxi that was not a typo. The heat index today really is 1115.

190

It looks like they’re doing some kind of board upgrade. I can get on for a few minutes, then oops, it’s gone. Driving me nuts. I haven’t been able to get to it for 2 days - I’m going through withdrawl!

Susan

191

Remember how I said the heat index is 1115 today? Well, Pepsi Guy came in to service our soda and vending machines a little while ago and looked like he was about to pass out. I asked him if he was ok and he said not really. So, I got him into the break room, got him some water and a cold compress and sat him down. He’s still in there resting. I suggested that he call in and say he’s taking the rest of the day off. He said he thinks that’s a good idea. I’m going back to check on him in a few minutes. A definite case of heat exhaustion there! :eek: Plus he was going on and on about how nice everybody here is cause several people came in to check on him. We’re such good people.

Ok, moral. Do Not get over heated. If you feel yourself gettin’ too hot, cool off. Ain’t nuttin’ worth heat exhaustion or worse heat stroke folks.

Poor Pepsi Guy! :frowning:

192

Speaking of chesticles, as I was walking to the cafeteria to grab some lunch (tortilla soup, my favorite!) I happened to glance down and noticed both my turkeys were done! They must have the air cranked here at the office today and the shirt I’m wearing is a very fine knit. Thank Og I was wearing a jacket.

Hey, CD[sup]1[/sup], (or anyone else who’s made it) how did you keep your Mexican Lasagne from drying out? I’ve really only tried it in the crock pot, but I would expect the crock pot to keep it moister than an oven. But it sucked up all the enchilada sauce I used like a camel at an oasis, and I still had to smother it with more sauce to eat it. Tasted good, though.

[sup]1[/sup]Was there an official decision about the nickname? Because I’d feel bad calling him “Donkey”.

193

If you don’t have a Gatorade-like sports drink on the premises, give the poor guy something salty to eat along with his water. The salt will keep the heat exhaustion from turning into heat stroke…

194

He of the salty snack goodies did just that *Bobbio (coding especially for you!). See Pepsi Guy also services all our snack machines so he had him some peanuts along with his water. He seemed to get ok. Said he was going back to work to check his truck in and then go home. Good for him!

Winnie I love taco soup in cold weather. It’s one of my staple cold weather recipes. Also, I kinda like donkey. Both personally and as his MMP name.

195

Well, there was really no planning for that. See, I’ve never made anything like this before, or even heard of it. I thought that I had invented it. So the plan was that I would cook everything on the stove together, layer it, and then just put it in the oven to warm the tortillas and melt the cheese. I was worried at first, because the tomatoes let off a bunch of juice. But it was OK, because it kept my tortillas from drying out. :slight_smile:

That’s almost sorta the nicest thing that anyone’s maybe kinda said about me.

196

You guys are getting more mileage out of my coding errors than my typos. :rolleyes:
I have one of those monster Big Gulp mugs that I keep on my desk at work, and every morning I take it to the cafeteria to refill with ice water. I have continually dring water throughout the day because of my surgery. If I get close to finishing the mug by the end of the office day, I know I’m up on my water allotment.

Yesterday, I picked it up, and upended the mug to take a mouth sized slug of water. I can handle a mouthful without causing pain in my microstomach. As I start to take my drink, the top comes loose, and I’m suddenly wearing a quart of ice water. Mind you, this is on a day where the heat index at my end of the Chesapeake Bay rivals that of Death Valley literally, making the A/C scream so my office temperature is barely 70F.

I was miserable for the rest of the day. At least with my moobs, you can’t tell if I was smuggling any raisins.

197

Warning: 3 whiny paragraphs follow, followed by a good one.

So I go in at McDonald’s today at 9. I arrive early, and my boss wishes that I take some supplies to another store, which is having their big yearly inspection later in the day. Here’s how McInspections work. The independent field person comes into a sparkling clean store, because they borrowed people from other stores to clean it, and a whole bucketful of smiling crew people (because they schedule everyone in the store for this day). The inspektor inspects things, witht he area supervisor (Doris) breathing down his neck, and whispering commands to people when he can’t hear.

So I get nabbed to do “a couple of hours of work” for Doris. This work is all cleaning things for her. First order of business - scrub the sidewalks and drive-thru. Which I do. The problem is that there was no difference between their hose, and those irrigation hoses that have holes every 4 inches. So I finishi the job very halfassedly, because I am soaked from the navel down, literally. I now have a ruined pair of socks that I am going to send to Doris for replacement. (they’re covered in dye from my shoes). Then more generic cleaning, with admonitions from Doris when I use the glass/multisurface cleaner (that’s marked as such) to clean something that isn’t glass, and her making sure that I know how to properly prepare buckets of sanitized towels.

So, after being there close to three hours, I drive back to my McDonald’s, because I want lunch, and it’s free (because I’m a manager and all). I get suckered into working, but I tell them that I have to be out by 1; I have a second job. Ok, Ok, they say. I do fries for a bit, and then go take orders in drive-thru.

Finally, the funny part. There was a man that came through, and his order isn’t important. What was important, was the fact that he had a hole in his pants. Not a small hole, mind you, but almost fist-sized. Where was the hole? Right on his crotch. His underwear were bright blue, for those keeping track. I didn’t mention it to him, but I think that he already knew about the hole.

198

Speaking of cats licking, ours likes to lick my sweetie’s hand or arm - whatever happens to be closest. I think it’s a grooming thing, but I don’t know. It weirds my sweetie out. He’s a cat, what ya gonna do? Rue, you shoulda tried a squirt gun. And you shouldn’t listen to your kids - they’re party poopers.

swampy - didn’t you offer the Pepsi guy a Coke? :D:D:D And Happy B-day a day early to you. Did you ever get that ecard I sent you?? :wink:

For the record, I have a dishwashing husband - actually, a dish rinsing husband. Then he stacks them all neatly so I can load them in the dishwasher. He doesn’t load them right - I can almost always get more stuff in there than he can. So I do.

Well, off to BJ’s - we’re out of cashews. And other things in industrial sized containers. Good thing it’s payday!

199

Tell everyone you did it on purpose to cool down.

I am making Nigella Lawson caesar salad with roasted potatoes because it’s not 10000C today. Unfortunately, Mr. Lissar can’t eat it. Not quite anything near healthy yet, just at the soup stage. So I’m going to have to eat all of it myself. Oh, the pain!

200

Have you had any flashers of either gender go through your drive-up yet?