“Lately, the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial murderer is my distaste for manual labor.”
-Dilbert
Real Men Dress Warm
Kurt Vonnegut??? right?
“Men are jerks, Women are psychotic”-Vonnegut
A pretty face (duh nuh nuh nuh)
A pretty face (duh nuh nuh nuh)
Oh what a gorgeous mind…
-Sly and The Family Stone
“When you place someone’s hand in a bowl of water when their sleeping and they wet themselves that’s called a wet dream isn’t it”
My 15 year old while I was driving her back home.
Me :eek:
“Youth is wasted on the young.” - George Bernard Shaw
She’s Sister Mary now, eyes as cold as ice
He takes her once a week on the alter like a sacrifice.
– Queensryche, Spreading the Disease, Operation, MindCrime
Then there’s the one in my sig.
“In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” ~Douglas Adams
For one more, see my sig.
“Hey guys, as soon as I finish writing this song, we can get the game started” - Francis Scott Key
“Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this!” – Tony Soprano
“The answer is fries” ~Comic Book Guy"
“Burrowing is not an option for camels.” ~Dr. A.T. Vawter, ecology professor at Wells College
“If you’re going to be easy, don’t be cheap. If you’re going to be cheap, don’t be easy.”
-Mom
Lance Armstrongs conversation with his doctor after a 6 hour brain surgery:
Doc: “Do you remember me?”
LA: “You’re my doctor.”
Doc: “What’s my name?”
LA: “Scott Shapiro.”
Doc: “Can you tell me your name?”
LA: “Lance Armstrong…and I can kick your ass on a bike any day.”
(Lance’s book: It’s not about the bike. is a wonderful read)
Fire
The sun is well asleep
Moon is high above
Fire grows from the east
How is this
Hate so deep
Lead us all so blindly killing killing
Fools we are
If hate’s the gate to peace
This is the last stop
—DMB, “The Last Stop”
“TK421 why aren’t you at your post?”
–Starwars
“Shut up brain or I’ll stab you with a Q-tip.”
–Homer
" ‘But why do you want to be a woman Stan?’
‘I want to have babies.’
‘You want to have babies! But you can’t have babies’
‘Don’t you opress me’
‘I’m not opressing you, it’s a biological fact. Where’s the fetus gonna gestate in a box?’ "
John Cleese/Eric Idle and some woman I forget her name… Life of Brian
Father, hide your shame! (Lisa Simpson)
“We don’t take kindly to your big-city, drunken Bush daughters.” - Mark and Brian radio show
These seemed appropriate here:
“When you get to the fork in road, take it” - Yogi Berra
Vincent Vega: “And you know what they call a… a… a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?”
Jules: “They don’t call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?”
Vincent Vega: “No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn’t know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.”
Jules: “Then what do they call it?”
Vincent Vega: “They call it a “Royale” with cheese.”
Jules: “A “Royale” with cheese! What do they call a Big Mac?”
Vincent Vega: “A Big Mac’s a Big Mac, but they call it “le Big-Mac”.”
Jules: "“Le Big-Mac’! Ha ha ha ha! What do they call a Whopper?”
Vincent Vega: “I dunno, I didn’t go into Burger King.”
From one of my all-time favorite movies, “Pulp Fiction”.