He even gets that wrong: it’s attorneys general.
I know; I know: pffft; grammar…
I sent that link to my sister who came this close to losing her house this week. Her husband is a big Trump guy. They have several acres in the hills above Napa. maybe I’ll get him a rake for Christmas.
So Trump can command local sheriff’s departments. Cool. Can he get me out of that parking ticket in Montgomery County?
I wonder what all them thar “Constitutional Sheriffs” would do.
Whose orders would they follow?
No, you misunderstood. He’s giving all his generals (the military kind) law licenses.
The Black Goat of the Woods With A Thousand Young? Fucking welfare queen!
(/s)
A thousand likes.
And to be more specific:
In his Bunker in W’ysh’ng’ton dread Trumpthulhu lies, texting lies.
Since when does the president get to give orders to sheriffs? Since when has the country had more than one attorney general in office? Since when is the plural of attorney general not attorneys general?
Every damn day, nay, every damn minute, that clown currently trashing both the concept and the reality of the office of the president proves he knows absolutely nothing about anything.
Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he orders the military to man the polls while being armed.
I’m guessing he plans to order the attorney general of each state to obey him. Maybe? That’s fifty attorneys general to boss around.
I like the double entendre version better. 
I have no idea what you dorks are on about and I’m not ashamed to admit it. 
From The Call Of Cthulhu (1926) by H.P. Lovecraft: In his house at R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.
Dammit, I was waving my hand saying “I know! I know!”
So I’ll just translate into the original Cthulhu-ish: Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn
That whole Republican convention schedule gag had a very Lovecraftian tone.
I think when trump-- surprise!– accepts the nomination, there should be a balloon drop as usual, but the hundreds of balloons should look like COVID viruses. Would that be cool or what? I mean, give credit where it’s due.
With “Live and Let Die” blasting from the speakers.
Like your idea. But we should include an Acme anvil or two.
Acme anvils don’t actually hurt anyone, just turns them into giant accordions.
Donald Trump again attacked the integrity of the American voting system Friday by warning that the country may “never know” the results of the upcoming presidential election because of mail-in ballots.
The astonishing comment was the president’s latest evidence-free claim that casting mail-in ballots is “fraudulent” — before a single vote has even been cast in this year’s general election. Americans are likely to use mail-in voting more than ever to avoid the risk of contracting COVID-19 at polling stations in November.
A large volume of mail-in ballots would be a “tremendous embarrassment to our country,” Trump insisted in a speech in Virginia to the conservative Council for National Policy.
Trump voted by mail last week in Florida’s primary.
…
Sigh.
“Lies tweeting”, surely.