Good luck and get better soon, Twisty!!
We need ya!
That old “seducing girlies with Dutch paintings” isn’t working anymore, now you’re going this route? Gotta hand it to ya, it looks like it’s working. 
Hope you’re feeling better soon!
HUGS!
Yikes! Had me scared for a second there. Instead I see this is just a shameful play for attention and free “get well” beer.
Seriously, Get Well Twisty. The board ain’t the same without ya.
Phew! Glad he’s okay. You get better now Twisty, ya hear? We need your humour and gentleness round these parts.
pan
Hey Hey Hey!!!
Well, where to start???
Saturday Evening, I was feeling slightly unwell. I had just played a full 90 minutes of a football match for the AC Celtic team (read: a bunch of unfit Irish and Scottish party animals). I had a pain in my stomach, which I put down to not having eaten properly during the day and for running about for the first time in 2 years. I made my way home, had something to eat, showered changed and made my way into town. The pain in the stomach was still there, but it was tolerable enough for a night out.
I made it into a pub called the Hairy Lemon, and waited for Ruadh & Co., who promptly arrived. The pub was packed to capacity, and we had to force our way upstairs.
I began to feel very, very unwell. Not sick, Not Montezuma’s Revenge, just an extreme pain in my stomach. I decided to head home, and after saying my goodbyes and telling Ruadh to stay in the pub, I fought my way out of the Pub again.
I managed to move about 50 metres, before collapsing on the street. By now I was screaming in pain, unable to move, and sweating like Gary Glitter in a Barny Suit. There was a Garda (Police) car parked 20 feet away from me. I tried waving, screaming, invoking the names of Ray Croc, Col. Saunders and Mr. Donut to get them off their fat asses and come over to check on me. No Such Luck.
Many other assholes walked by me, thinking I was just another drunk, lying on the pavement.
Some good samaritans stopped, called an Ambulance and looked after me. I never got their names, but I am eternally grateful for their kind deed. It restores your faith in humanity to see someone care for a total stranger when they are out for a good time.
I was brought to hospital, and had IV’s put in and painkillers injected . I had xrays, and several nasty proddings.
But the worst was yet to come. 2 lovely blonde nurses gave me a PR exam. Let me tell you, the PR dosent stand for Public Relations, but I can understand why people get confused
I was humming Ride of the Valkeries throughout the whole ordeal. Not content with simply redefining my manhood, I was then subject to a double laxative.
Fun way to spend a saturday night.
I have spent the last 2 days being waited on hand and foot by some of the greatest people to walk this earth. Nurses. I love them all.
I was discharged today. Feeling great. Teey reckon that it was a twisted intestinal muscle (or something similar.
Thanks for the messages y’all. Its good to be back 
Ah, coppers… always there for a speeding ticket, never there when your guts explode. Bastards.
Good to see you back in good health, Twisty.
And I was only kidding about the cider, mate. Well, mostly, anyway.
Huzzah! Twisty’s back, with freshly twistyed guts. Mmm - minty fresh!
pan
Yay - Twisy is untwisted! So glad to hear you’re feeling better, hon. Welcome back!
Jeg elsker dig, Thomas
I’m so glad you’re better! Smoochies!
And I wasn’t kidding about the warm milk. Intestinal muscles don’t just twist themselves, young man. And it’s well known that drinking sitting out all night milk is the major cause of intestinal muscle twisting…sometimes it takes 7 or 8 months, but yup, that’s what causes it. I’m serious.
Now you rest up and I’ll see you soon. 
Twisty, glad to know you are okay.
:smooch:
Now that you’re all better can I just tell you what a petrified five minutes I had when someone rang me on your phone after you left the pub and said “Wendy? Are you a friend of John’s?” and then the line went dead.
You ever do that to me again, Twisty, I’ll kick your butt
Very glad to have you back.
Good to hear you’re ok
[sub] I still say it was a lucky guess IYKWIM [/sub]
I suppose I can give you a couple days to get back in the swing of things but after that, you’re mine, boy!
Glad you’re feeling better, Twisty. I’d hate to have to get another CyberBitch–you guys are so hard to train!
Hey Twisty!
As attention seeking measures go this was a little extreme.
You put the heart crossways on more than a few people.
Good to hear you’re back in action.