Ah yes, as the child asked when she saw the Scotsman, “Mommy, why is that man wearing a dress and squeezing an octopus?”
So this guy is in the market for a hunting dog, and comes across an ad in the local paper: Best Hunting Dog in the World. He treks out to the farm, and asks the farmer how much he wants for the animal. “$10,000,” was the reply. “Ten thou-…” the man thunders incredulously, “No dog is worth that!” The farmer calmly assures him that yes, the dog is worth every penny, and he would be glad to give a demonstration. So they grab a shotgun and take the dog out into the fields. A few minutes later, the dog freezes. It points at a thicket. It barks twice. Two quail burst up from the thicket, and bam! bam! the farmer nails them both. The man is figuring “coincidence”. A few minutes later, the dog freezes again. Points at another thicket. Barks three times. Three quail explode from the brush. Bam! Bam! Bam! The farmer bags all three (Belgian Browning automatic 16-gauge, don’cha know). The man is impressed, and buys the dog.
About a week later, the man returns to the farm, clearly enraged. “I want my money back, you damned fraud!” he shouts at the farmer. “Wasn’t the dog satisfactory?” the farmer inquires. “Hell no, it wasn’t satisfactory! Freaked out and went crazy on me. We were going along just fine for a while. It would bark once at one thicket, and I’d bag one quail. It would bark three times at another thicket, and I’d bag three. But then all of the sudden it starts humping my leg, and then it grabs a tree branch and starts whipping it all over the place. Finally had to shoot the thing.”
Farmer shakes his head sadly. “He was just trying to tell you that the thicket had more f*cking quail than you could shake a stick at.”
Altogether now: :rolleyes:
Ok, here’s the real joke.
I man notices a 2-legged dog on his porch and proceeds to yell at him.
“Get out of here ya damn cripple”
The dog frightened out of his wits squeals,
“Looks like it’s the end for Halvsie!”
The man now frightened by the talking dog proceeds to walk toward him with a stick.
In a poor attempt to get away Halvsie falls over on his side and spins around in a circle for the next 30 minutes.
The man soon gets tired and goes back inside and turns on his TV.
Cut to scene of Halvsie spinning around in a circle at night.
THE END.
That last post made no sense, no sense at all. In fact we are all more dumb for having heard it. (Line from “Billy Madison”)