Sure, it’s the dogs. 
Cecil kind of, sort of, covered my particular effect in his first book. I’m lactose intolerant and if I drink whole milk I can produce gas that has been known to kill house plants. It really does smell like something crawled up my butt and died.
I feel so much better for having shared that.
I’ll second lactose intolerance farts! My best friend’s husband can fumigate an entire house with one fart if he eats dairy products without taking his anti-fart pills first.
Dried fruit makes me lethal, too. It’s something to do with the sulfur used as a preservative.
A few years ago, I spent Christmas in Phoenix with friends. I drove there, with my Rottweiler in my pickup truck. I don’t know what that dog ate, but on the drive back I spent 14 hours in a small heated metal box with a dog letting off blistering farts very five minutes. By the time I got to Denver, my nostril hairs were burned off.
Ham & Beans make mine really ripe! We had Ham & Beans for lunch the day after Christmas and that evening… OMG… I was running myself out of the room because my farts were so awful!
I’ll third the lactose intolerance.
Give me a glass of milk and I can make the cat run out of the room. Of course, he’s warned by the volume; once the smell gets out, I have to step outside.
Oh yes, they also have a comet-tail effect, and follow me around for a couple of minutes, so I have to wait before going outside or I’ll have a gaseous hitch-hiker.
Beer, Eggs, & Doughnuts. A couple of my friends and I used to go skiing every weekend. One morning, Brien eats those three for breakfast, we think nothing of it, beer for breakfast is good. The trip home was hell, those farts literally made you gag. We were in a pickup and had to ride with the windows down most of the time. It was about 10 degrees out.
The farts that smell the worst are definately the ones that leave your ass with the highest temperature. I also think diabetic farts are quite noxious.
HUGS!
Sqrl
PS. Orca, I would have superglued a cork in that guys ass. That is vile. In my thug youth I knew several people who would have stabbed him. That is just wrong.
Roast onion gives rich, dense farts.
The local beer, Hartley’s XB, gives extraordinarily powerful morning farts, usually accompanied by beer sweats and a red face. We still drink it.
Cauliflower gives me farts of large volume, but low odour. A good bath fart, the cauliflower fart.
Oh yes, Sqrl is right. Heat farts are the worst.
Homemade Miso Soup with Tofu.
boom!
::snort, snort:: ROFLMAO
::wiping tears::
Oooh, you guys are funny.
For me, bean soup, of course, but also Special K cereal - now those are some bad farts.
And let’s not forget the little tiny mouse-dog that belonged to the mouse that lived under my dad’s chair.
That thing was just evil. :rolleyes:
Uranus
[sub]hehe[/sub]
Hands down, Point Bock Beer. Sometimes the effects will last a couple of days!
For purple farts get a new jar of natural peanut butter. Drink the oil off the top, then have a couple PB&Js.
I haven’t done this myself, but a kid I worked with years ago was involved in ‘fart war’ with his roommate. He swore that peanut oil was responsible for the war going nuclear. I personally witnessed his SBD room clearing ability. Low noise, minimum hang time of at least five full minutes. Awesome. Brought tears to my eyes. A ‘virtual butt tour’.
For sheer noise I prefer cabbage in any form.
If I pee about a half hour after eating asparagus I can smell the asparagus.
Two words: egg nog.
I’m not sure what causes them. I’ll have to call the daycare and ask.
As for myself, boiled eggs and cheap beer.
Jesus Christ nailed to a vibrator, you people crack me up.
As for me, it’s roasted garlic cloves. Always. Produces what I refer to a “salami farts”, which smell exactly like Genoa salami, with a slight farty undertone. I drove my accountant out of his own office one day, and then later encountered him in the bathroom. As he recognizes my shoes under the next stall, he starts trying to finish frantically, so he won’t be subjected to the smell, viz:
HIM “OH, SHIT! Don’t start yet! Don’t start yet! That’s going to stink up the place. Godamnit, let me get out of here! Hold on!”
ME: “Sorry, mi amigo, this here’s an express train!”
(starts coming out with ENTIRE garlic cloves still intact, and a rich, oily pungency that hangs in the air like fog)
HIM " Oh, my God! Why is your ass not on fire right now?"
(all the while frantically wiping, rattling paper dispenser, etc, zipping)
ME: “He who controls the spice controls the UNIVERSE!!!”
Peanut butter smeared on raw bananas. I tried this once because we were out of apples (the fruit I usually smear my peanut butter on when I’m in the peanut-butter-snack mood). I remembered hearing Elvis Presley’s favorite food was “peanut butter and 'nana sandwiches” so I figured I’d give it a try.
I think I now know what killed Elvis and why he was found on the toilet! My God, some kind of chemical reaction takes place that produces the most vile and putrid vapor, so thick you could pound a nail in it and hang your coat. This stuff smells on your clothes the next day like cigarette smoke from the bar last night. Do not try this at home folks.
Ah, wise words from the shit-house Atreides!
Raw chocolate chip cookie dough makes for a high volume of farts but as flatulence goes not particularly stinky. Hard boiled eggs do it for me. I can create a similar stench when I’m cleaning brass ammunition casings. I use old-fashioned black gunpowder: charcoal, saltpeter and sulfur. Quite an aroma when I dunk them in vinegar and the residue starts to fizz.