Chalk tastes really bad, and won’t make your voice high and squeeky.
When you’re arguing with a crazy person, you WILL lose.
If you’re just not that into someone, no amount of concentration will change that. Ditto the other way around.
If you put a bra on in the AM, and it’s not very comfy then, but lunch time you’ll be ready to rip the thing off through your top.
When mine was active, the medicine I got from the doctor never made it go away. When I went to have teeth extracted, the dentist gave me a very powerful antibiotic; I think it was only one pill in a big cardboard envelope. After that, the cyst went away for about 2 years. It was just coming back when I had more oral surgery, and my new dentist prescribed another very powerful antibiotic. It’s gone again. I can’t even find it. I hope it stays that way! I don’t want to have part of my butt cut off!
I wish I didn’t know;
You *can * be more lost.
You could feel worse.
Never sit in the front seat of the bus when traveling in the third world. :eek:
It’s never the things you worry and fret over that get you; it’s always the things you could never have foreseen - with any amount of fretting and worry.
No, but it can be a cheap alternative to Tums.
That sometimes you Can’t make it all the way back to the end of the railroad bridge before the train gets to you. (True!)
What it feels like to be hit in the testicles really hard.
That it is, indeed, possible to dent your skull.
Even though the new company promised that they wouldn’t just take all the assets of your company that they purchased, fire everyone, anf shut the doors, they can still do that.
You* can *climb up into the top bunk with a broken arm.
“Reply” and “reply to all” have two different functions.
The fly system needs to be counter-balanced.
No matter how cool they think you are, his friends are his friends first.
Cats don’t like baths.
You can do that cool flip sober. You can’t do it drunk.
The grocery store is not an acceptable stop-off right before the Pimps n’ Hos party.
“Increasingly Drunk College Girl” is a popular, but not pretty, Halloween costume.
They really do hand out tickets for jumping the turnstile. And the tickets are pricey.
Even if his chest is warm and his eyes are open, he can still be dead.
Driving fast through Wyoming in February is a bad idea.
Oh, yeah – and you can fracture your ankle jumping off a 6" sand bank. And not know it at the time.
That limb probably won’t hold your weight.
Don’t reach under rocks in streambeds.
You CAN get lost a few feet off the trail.
The answer is never, “Yes, that makes you look fat.”
Be extremely careful when trimming your pubes with scissors…especially when you’ve been drinking.
When the police officer says to keep your hands behind your head, keep your hands behind your head!..even if he’s jamming his hand inside the buttoned pocket of your brand new jacket, causing the button to tear off.
When a 3-year old is running at you full speed, don’t assume that he’ll know where your testicles are. And don’t assume that he won’t cry when everyone knows that you’re in heck of a lot more pain than he is.
When you’re making good time on a long road trip, don’t assume that the large empty water bottle will fully accommodate the contents of your bladder.
When the doctor says “Push as Hard as you can!”, he may have forgotten that you are not on an epidural. Babies can fly out of you and through the air and that ripping sensation is you.
It is possible to break one’s elbow slam-dancing and be too pissed to realise it.
It is further possible to walk around with a broken elbow for six days without seeing a doctor.
Broken elbows can be made to bend, but they probably shouldn’t.
Thumbnails make poor thimbles. 
How is that racist? Hairist (?) Tressist (?) perhaps, but not racist. This also only applies to red headed men, I’ve never dated a woman, let alone a redheaded one.
So I am a tressist sexist. I’m good with that.
My experience from dating a red headed man involved stitches, a personal driver, prostitutes, prison, a black eye, a woman named Frannie, balcony dangling, 9mm’s, paranoid musings about bodies in trash bags in garbage containers, a woman at the DMV, a dean, a couple of strippers, heroin, a litter of cats, a triangle apartment, and one corvette.
Does this mean every redheaded man is like that? Um, no. But for me, they are definitely taboo. And something I learned the hard way.
My mother has red hair and although I never dated her, growing up with her was very similar to what you describe.
what broken fingers, toes, feet, hands, ankles, wrists, ribs and a nose feel like.
the feeling of walking towards a partial detonation of explosives. Someone had to check it out, and apparently I really was in charge…
the feeling of vomiting blood. This is in no way related to the previous exerience. Just a horrible alcohol poisoning event.
The kind of mess and smell a dead body leaves if undiscovered for five days.
What kind of mess an alcoholic family member leaves behind after they drink themselves to death (physically and financially).
What hunger from not being able to afford food feels like.
OK, you’re a tressist sexist. I’ll play along for purposes of the argument, because redheadedness is for some reason not popularly considered a distinct racial feature. Anyway:
What on earth does this have to do with him being a redhead? That’s quite possibly the most bizarre conclusion about a group of people I’ve heard made in a long time. What if the one guy you dated were Mexican, or blonde, or spoke Icelandic natively, or watched soccer? What does all of this have to do with anyone other than him, and maybe “sketchy dudes” as a group?
I would put redheadedness in the same category as green eyed, or left handed, or an Iowan-none of which is racial. There is a tendency for red heads to be typically caucasian, but that is not completely necessary to have red hair.
I don’t think it is bizarre to have prejudices about people you would date. Especially when previous experience has been highly negative. I never have advocated shunning, or not hiring, or confiscating assets and sending to a gulag in Siberia. It’s in the same vein of “Never date a soldier.” or “Never date a divorcee.”
Many, many people have a strong attraction for redheads, they’ll more than make up for me.
Don’t eat those spherical white things by the steps at the old lady’s house next door.
Those aren’t round marshmallows. They’re mothballs.
Neither doctors or mechanics are infallible.