My 14 year old believed me when I told her that Tuscany was named that because after Hannibal crossed the Alps most of his elephants died there and left their skeletons.
In her defense, I tell her all sorts of unbelievable facts that turn out to be really true.
Alabama is seriously a center for elephantine dentistry.
The tusks are looser down there.
Oh the OP. Right.
My father told me that ground chuck was made from woodchucks.
Northern Piper:
Sith Lords have underlings afraid of being force-choked to clean up after them.
Darth Vader totally left Obi-Wan’s cloak laying there on the Death Star floor. Well, at least he didn’t leave the corpse in it.
When my kids were very young, on our way out to the store shortly before Christmas I told them to watch out for the Bad Boy Bellman, if he spotted bad little boys he’d ring his bell and put them in his kettle. As we approached the store I spotted the Salvation Army guys, pointed at him and said “Look boys, there he is!”. He rang his bell and they cried and grabbed on to me. Yeah, I’m going to hell.
At my grandparents’ house, it often was. Grampap hunted them as vermin, and once you’ve shot one, well, no sense in letting anything go to waste.
This is my daughter’s, but I think it still counts. “No, we can’t go to the park today. The park is closed on Tuesdays.”
When my granddaughter was very young she believed (because we told her so) that the ice cream truck was just a music truck. No, no treats in there.
Man, that is cold.
I think you can be arrested for that in New Jersey.
“just be yourself, the girls will like you for being different.”
No mom, they didn’t!!!
Much better advice: "Just be yourself, that way when you inevitably end up friendless and alone at least you won’t be friendless and alone and frantically pretending to be someone you’re not. "
Hey, wait a minute. Sr. Weasel tells me the ice cream store is closed every time I suggest it. :dubious:
Aside: I read that as “Señor Wences” every thread he’s mentioned in, and have to go back, read it slowly, glance at poster’s name, cogitate, chuckle, and only then read over the post.
“I haff zomething veddy nice for you…”
“S’a’right?”
“S’a’right!”
Hahaha I never heard of that guy.
Sr. Weasel is actually an abbreviation of Señor Weasel. We both studied Spanish in undergrad.
My stepmom’s dad was an old-fashioned butcher. As such, he often retrieved the magnets from cows’ stomachs that were given to them to attract barbed wire and other harmful things they might inadvertently ingest while they were out grazing. Occasionally he would bring them home to his daughter. When she asked where they came from, he told her that cows manufacture magnets in their stomachs.
She was 27 years old when with all solemnity, she shared this bit of wisdom with my dad and me. After we stared at her for a beat, we howled till we cried. I always felt bad this was how she learned that cows are not where magnets come from.
Until this moment I never knew cow magnets were a thing.
It is not usually a topic of refined conversation.
Does the magnet keeps metal out of their intestines?
Apparently so.
With the wide eyed stare, this cow looks as though she had swallowed a magnet.
LOL, yes, they are a thing. carnivorousplant, that was a great wide-eyed diagram. 
We used to sell them in PiperDad’s store, in the farm supplies section. Yes, very much a thing.
I don’t think I could top cow magnets. All I’ve got is this, from my mom: “Don’t pick your nose, you’ll yank your brains out.”
Said more to my brothers than me. 
