What are some statements that are technically true but that you should avoid because people will say they are evidence that you are insane? I can think of at least three right away:
My bones are made out of metal.
I see dinosaurs eating from the feeders in my backyard almost every day.
Sometimes I hear voices.
Can anyone think of others? Does anyone assert that the above statements are untrue?
I’m a fish.
I honestly didn’t know calcium was a metal. So I learned something at least.
But of course and fairly well known these days.
That statement is very vague, I hear voices when people are talking. Do you hear them when no one is around and the radio/TV/computer aren’t making the voices?
Trees are made of air.
Usually, things aren’t particularly nice.
Your dad is a motherfucker.
One particularly obese CNA, in this rehab place is gonna die young.
She told me she was just was diagnosed Type 2 diabetes.
I asked her what diet did her doctor want her on.
She said they never said anything about dieting. Just take the pills.
Also:
My beautiful niece has the ugliest little child. She was talking about his college fund. I told her double it up. He’s gonna need to have good career to compensate.
I know, I shouldn’t judge people. I really try. And of course I don’t dislike or like anyone for looks. That would be horrible of me.
These are true statements about these people. I’m certainly not gonna say it, though.
Everytime I hear someone pedantically correcting another that “Dolphins aren’t fish!”, I have to stop myself from butting in and saying, “Well, from an evolutionary standpoint…”
Stranger
Fish aren’t fish.
Abe Vigoda was Fish
So was Wanda.
What’s all this now???
I have more than the average number of legs.
At any given moment, the average human contains slightly more than one skeleton.
All normal dogs have three legs.
My penis is about twice as long as the average person’s.
You also have more than the average number of penises, to go along with the leg thing.
I’m not sure I get this one though. Does it have to do with leg planes intersecting at right angles?
Any dog that has four legs (as normal) naturally has 3.
I thought it was just that they all have three, and perhaps four, legs.
*headsmack
I knew I was overthinking.
Mulan has the highest kill-count of any Disney character. (around 2000)
You produce about six pounds of stool per week.
According to the Bible, the chicken came before the egg.
Kanye West once offered up a boring white t-shirt, with a $120 price tag on it (promoting such attributes as “Short sleeves” and “Egyptian cotton”) and it still sold out immediately.
The fear of long words is called hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.
Lobsters have bladders on either side of their heads, so they communicate by urinating at each other.
Your mouth produces about one liter of saliva a day.