Mrs Cicero has an elderly aunt- she is approaching 90. The aunt has been a widow since the 40’s and has no children. She does live in a very nice home which is now worth a lot of money.
Although she has no kids, her sisters (sister is dead) kids maintain contact with her. They expect to be the beneficiaries of the will.
This is what annoys me- they are endeavouring to get her to leave her home and move into an apartment. She loves where she is and wants to die there. They have even sent a Real Estate agent around to give her a valuation. Why can’t they just leave her alone?
My boyfriend’s aunt and uncle recently divorced after decades of marriage, and his uncle (by marriage) suggested to his elderly mother-in-law that she sell her home and move into an apartment so that he and his ex-wife could continue “living the lifestyle to which they had become accustomed”.
I hate to sound callous to you, but you don’t give a lot of info in the OP. Is this elderly lady able to keep up her home? Are there stairs? Can she take the trash out and do her own laundry? Can she clean the furnace filters every year, or does she have someone available to do that kind of stuff? Does she have someone to check in on her regularly? Is the apartment your aunt’s kids are looking at one that is “senior friendly”?
My husband and I (admittedly) bullied my in-laws, who are in their mid-to-late 70s, into selling the tri-level home they’d owned for 40 years and moving into a “senior friendly condo community” where there is 24-hour medical help available, cleaning services, and general assistance on an as-needed basis. Both of my in-laws had had falls and medical emergencies, and they were about 15 minutes away from us. Now they’re about three blocks away, and we have the assurance of knowing that someone can get to them QUICKLY in case of emergency, that my mother-in-law won’t fall down the stairs trying to do laundry, and that my father-in-law won’t have to shovel the driveway anymore. Yes, some days they miss their old home, but both have said that just knowing they don’t have to deal with the stairs anymore has been a big relief.
We did not move them into a “home” or into a shabby little rental, and if that’s the case with your aunt, you may be absolutely right. But if that ISN’T the case, and you’re not the person taking care of her, I think you’re jumping the gun to criticize.
Airman’s father’s family is going through this with their mom. She recently sustained a bad fall that sent her into the hospital and to a long-term rehab facility. She’d been declining for quite some time before this, but the family was hesitant to get an aide or move her to a senior facility. Now they don’t have that choice. I don’t know what their plan is now.
About a year ago, got my parents to move from their house, which they had owned our entire lives (we are two brothers, born in 1956 and 1958), to what’s called a residential care facility for the elderly (RCFE). We had to do it because it was getting too hard for my father to look after my mother, who is five years post stroke. My dad suffers from COPD and related ailments, and they’re both eighty. Anyhow, they had long since reached the point where they’d have to call in the fire department several times a year to pick my mother up off the floor.
I think my brother is still pissed at me because it was mainly my wife’s and my doing, but I also think my parents are comfortable where they are. There are up to four residents at a time, and two aides on the premises at all times. All the mundane tasks of every day living are taken care of by the helpers. What’s really amusing to me is that my parents spend most days in the den watching TV, just as they did in their own house.