If you are duped or fooled, upon learning of your misfortune you will be temporarily transformed into a donkey or large lollipop.
If you encounter a great surprise or shock your eyeballs will actually unattach themselves from their sockets, enlarge dramatically and hang in mid-air for a few seconds before righting themselves. Likewise, your tongue may extend several feet out of your mouth and your jaw will stretch and hit the ground, making a loud, metallilc “clang” sound.
Chamelions can mimic any color. Except plaid. When faced with plaid Chamelions will go insane.
Roadrunners can be pursuied and captured by taking an ACME catalog, picking a random page, ordering that item, then repeating this process about 4 more times. This gets you bizarre combinations of items which result in very creative contraptions (my favorite was ACME skis, ACME fan, and ACME ice machine. The ice machine carpeted the ground with ice cubes, which the skis slid over, and the fan propelled the whole lot.
I swear that Coyote was the MacGuyver of cartoons!
Upon finding a piano, no one can resist the urge to play Those Endearing Young Charms. That is the only song anyone will ever play. And of course they will always get the same two notes wrong, in which case someone, usually a villain, will run in and try and correct you, with explosive results.
In extreme situations, someone can be capable of holding an abnormally large amount of heavy objects at once. However, once a feather is dropped onto the pile, they are immedietely incapable of holding it anymore.
The orbital plane of the solar system is completely flat. Also, Earth is always positioned directly between Venus and Mars. This makes viewing Venus from Mars impossible, unless of course the Earth were, say, blown up.
Wow, I sure learned a lot about space modulators here.
I thought of more. Mephitis mephitis (the striped skunk), though sometimes smart enough to speak two languages and pass the intelligence test of La Legion Etrangere (or the French Foreign Legion), are nonetheless sometimes unable to distinguish other members of their own species from those of Felis domestica (the house cat), especially if F. domestica is a black female who has recently brushed her back against something freshly painted white. No doubt F. domestica could explain to M. mephitis the error of his ways, but unfortunately, most female members of F. domestica lack the gift of speech. Of course, unlike his sister, the male of the species F. domestica can speak, especially if he is bipedal and either black or yellow, but more times than not his words will be marred by some sort of speaking impediment. Sometimes members of M. mephitis and F. domestica can be found chasing each other through the streets of Paris or deserts of North Africa–even in the latter case, neither animal will normally succumb to heat stroke–F. domestica’s super-animal endurance is fueled by fear and disgust, while the extraordinary physical abilities of the male M. mephitis can be attributed to good French food, a rigorous military physical fitness training regime and, of course, amour.
Speaking of mephitic amour, only three things in the Universe have been shown to be more powerful–said amour passionately reciprocated by the black female F. domestica, the space modulator (Q39 model, of course), and the well-sharpened yellow pencil with a large pink eraser.
–Mephisto, who knows he knows jack about biology or French and who grows curious why his name is so similar to those of both the striped skunk’s genus and species . . .
It’s not England unless “Rule, Britannia” is playing. Ditto France and “La Marseillaise” (which I am ashamed to discover that I don’t know how to spell).
But only do this after you’ve already had the crap kicked out of you several times before you’re finally convinced that you’ll never beat the bad guy otherwise.
A person intent on homicide can be momentarily deterred by a psychological technique known as the Bamboozle Effect. This consists of talking quickly about a subject intended to distract the assailant’s attention; such as asserting that one knows the location of nearby buried treasure, that it’s the assailant’s birthday and a surprise party has been prepared, or that a pretty woman wants to make his acquaintance. This technique always works despite any implausibility in the story. The effect is amplified by wearing any sort of costume or disguise. The assailant may have some vague suspicion that something doesn’t add up but will be unable to pin down exactly what.
Any object that can remain suspended in the air can support a person’s weight. This includes clouds, the top of a parachute canopy, or a small canary.
All dwarves and midgets have the patience, maturity and good judgement of an average four-year old.
All objects have complete physical integrity, except when they don’t. I’ll explain:
A train car (airplane, empire state building, planet) can be picked up and moved, if you have enough strength, by just grabbing it and waving it around. It will never crumble or break. Likewise, the place you’re standing will never give under you no matter what amount of mass you’re moving. For planets, this generally requires that you be able to fly, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find an episode where someone stops two planets from colliding by pushing on one while standing on the other.
Of course, anything that would cause problems for the bad guy by crumbling at an inopportune moment will certainly do so.
In Literature, Mass Media, and Modern Communications
From cartoons, I learned that it wasn’t Shakespeare who popularized asides (characters talking to the audience), but that from pre-historic times jurassic-era animals-turned-house-appliances were knocking down the fourth wall as they bemoaned the existential angst of their objectification, as in, pterydactyl/phonograph’s lament, “hey, it’s a livin’.”
It’s sad because it’s true.
Peace.
Oh, yeah, I learned any pre-historic animal can be analagous to a 20th century appliance.