My mom would always say “You don’t want to turn out like ‘Gene,’ do you?” when I was being an asshole. “Gene” was one of my older brothers, so she managed to insult me and my older brother at the same time. Granted, “Gene” could often be a real prick, but no wonder that there was rampant distrust and resentment thoughout my siblings!!
(“Gene” is not my brother’s name.)
My mom would often point out how much better my adopted brother and sister were than my brother and I. Why couldn’t we be like them, rather than Big Fat and Ugly.
And she once told me the reason I was so fat was that I was demon-possessed.
That there was no way I could ever get a man, because of my weight. (I was in college at the time.)
Gee, I wish those weren’t true. One of the reasons I’m glad my husband and I can’t have children is that I’m afraid I’ll be like her.
I got that too, from my parents, my grandparents, even my doctor. It’s infuriating on several levels.
“They’re only picking on you because they’re jealous.”
Wow - what a helpful way to teach kids socialization skills. Yep, next time I got picked on, I told the kids they were just jealous - and they beat the crap out of me (and I was a girl). Nice, mom.
I, too, thought my mom was the only one who said the “I love you but I don’t like you” line. My mind, of course, completely dismissed everything before the word “but”.
Another one: “Mom, do you like my drawing?”
Mom: “Your brother’s is good, too.”
What? I wasn’t talking about my brother’s drawing! Why can’t you say anything I do is good? If a parent can’t make a child feel competent at anything, they’re setting the child up to feel insecure for life.
“If you don’t bring home all A’s and B’s, don’t bother coming home.”
Gee, I’m in the 5th grade - where the hell am I going to go?
Oh, I agree!
I’ve come to the conclusion that at some point, everyone has had something soul-crushing said to them by their parents.
I’m now trying to think of some way to keep from doing it to my kids, if I haven’t already.
I was in a bitchy little mood last night, wasn’t I? Sorry 'bout that.
Some of these stories just amaze me - I guess I had it better than I knew.
I do remember my Dad calling me “ignorant” - he was one of those people who was always right, and if you disagreed with him, you were “ignorant.” I always thought it didn’t really bother me, but since I remember it all these years later perhaps it did…
My mother rather dislikes my father (divorced) or my older brother. She’d go off on tiraids on how selfish, arrogant, crazy they are. Then, later on that day, she’d say to me “You are just like your father/brother.”
I have two younger brothers. At the time, the youngest was about four. He started crying for somereason. After he told my why, I deemed it a stupid reason to cry, and without thinking I shouted at him, “I’ll give you a reason to cry!” My other brother and I were shocked at my response.
parents can really push the sibling rivalry thing without realizing it. My mom never said things like, “Why can’t you be like your brother?” but she did (and continues) to say things like, “Jerry is a great cook and really likes it … so unlike Brian.” Or “They’re like night and day.” Any kind of comparison leads to a competitive thing where you feel like you shouldn’t even try to do things you’re sibling has already done well at.
Parents can still say some pretty unforgivable stuff even when you’re an adult. Here’s a couple of things my mom said since I turned 20.
“Children are like pancakes. You throw the first one away.” I’m firstborn.
My ex-girlfriend was “using you because she wanted your dad.”
Tell them, “That’s good, since I’m a lesbian!” Should make them shut up for a while…
That’s an easy one: six.
“Don’t be so ugly.” (Used in reference to misbehavior)
[humorous anecdote]
Seen on a t-shirt in some Hot Topic-esque mall store:
Daddy drinks because you cry.
[/humorous anecdote]
[ul]“Yes”, “okay” and “if you want to.”[/ul]
One thing my mom always said (and still does actually) if I made a stupid mistake: “Why would you do that?!”. It always made me so mad! I didn’t do it on PURPOSE.
Can go wrong the other way. My parents believed what you said above. So I went through my school until the age of about 14 thinking I was stupid or below average, I always did well in tests (best or second best in my year) but of course it was my parents I believed. They never told me I was smart, they didn’t say I was stupid, but instead said things like ‘you did well, but you will need to work harder if your going to pass the 12+’. Completely buggered up my self confidence, which I am only slowly recovering 19 years later.
My mom used the “If you don’t like it, you can just walk home” line on me. When she was trying to pick a screaming fight in a crowded restaurant. I walked home. She freaked out.
My mom and grandmother used to say, “Don’t be RUDE” every time I said something with any kind of inflection. I decided that since they obviously wanted me to be rude, I’d go ahead and be as rude as possible. I imagine it contributed to my smart-ass, smarmy attitude to this day.
My dad and THOSE grandparents used to use the “lazy” thing all the time, usually because I wasn’t enthusiastically pursuing the physical labor at hand (i.e. “helping” clear brush, which meant one of em cut down trees and stuff, I dragged it away, and the rest stood around watching). And then they wonder why I quit going to visit them.
Another one: “What is wrong with you?” (and endless variations).
For the record, Mom, I nowhave a diagnosis, if you’re still interested. How 'bout you? :mad:
“Don’t give me that attitude!”
Um…it’s anger, Mom, not an attitude. Just because I’m an adolescent doesn’t mean I’ve stopped having legitimate emotions.
(FTR: she doesn’t always say this, and this is prbly the worst thing she’s said to me in several years if not my whole life. I just find it irritating (sp? That never looks right to me) that she thinks I can’t display anger.)
As a matter of fact, my mother said that very thing to me oftentimes as a youngster and I did not like it a bit (“Where has the good Lorenzo gone? I hope the good Lorenzo comes back soon.”)
No joke.