Things We Can Do Safely Now That The Terror Threat Has Been Lowered

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

  1. make sweet sweet love to citizens of other nations

  2. hand people scissors blade end first

  3. ride on the wings of 747 airliners

  4. move comfortably about the cabin

  5. bring small, humorous novelty bombs onto planes and into large buildings

  6. Come out from under the table.

2

  1. Play ball in the house.

  2. Wear a white belt with white pants.

  3. Wear fur without the stigma.

  4. Use some of that duct tape to finally repair our badly damaged ducts.

  5. Start stockpiling for the next Code Orange Alert.

  6. Hang out with our buddies behind a nuclear power plant.

3

  1. Use the plastic and duct tape to dust-proof the furniture.

  2. Go sightseeing at major national monuments, particularly ones in large cities.

4

  1. Reissue live ammunition to the monkey army

  2. See active duty military personel in uniform off base.

  3. Remove homemade respirator made from maxi pads.

5

16a. Ravish active duty military personnel in uniform - on or off base!

6

  1. Stop <3 ing New York

  2. Feed the bears

  3. Throw stuff at firemen

7
  1. Call Bush an effin’ moron.
8

  1. Enjoy higher priced package holidays

  2. Watch and wait for Blair to crack out the Grecian 2000

9
  1. Stop an electrtic fan with our tongue.
10
  1. Dance wildly in a mosque pit.
11
  1. Run with scissors.
12
  1. Rent our spare room to the mysteriously moustached man with the funny accent.
13

  1. French kiss a honeybee.

  2. Stop reporting suspicious-looking packages

  3. Lick the powdery white substance falling out of our envelopes.

  4. Start surfing for Internet porn again.

  5. Start using the “Happy Orthodox Muslim” smiley again.

14
  1. Dance wildly in a mosh pit.
15
  1. Contuinally neglect to preview posts
16
  1. Sit too close to the TV.
17
  1. Yell “In your face, terrorists”
18
  1. Stop looting the guy from downstairs everytime he walks his dog
19

  1. Obsess about that missing woman in Caliornia again.

  2. Send tastefully humorous threatening letters to the White House.

20
  1. Drink caffeinated coffee after dinner.