But still not quite as creepy as a man saying it on a first date.
Did you ask her as the victim or rapist?
"Don’t you think suicide pacts are romantic?"
“Excuse me, I need to measure your breasts to see if they meet my standards.”
“Is it true what they say about you and the orangutan?!”
“Before any date, I have a few facts I’m legally obligated to disclose as a condition of my parole.”
“Shut up! Oh sorry, I didn’t mean you, I meant the voices in my head.”
“Bet you can’t find where all my concealed weapons are!”
“You know, if you’re a vampire I’m totally cool with you drinking my blood.”
“I’ll need to see certification of your racial purity before we do any touching.”
True story (the morning after a very successful first real date): “I want a child. You can help me. You don’t have to be involved with the child I just want to get pregnant.” I would have chewed my own arm off to get out of there.
You wear too much eye makeup. My sister wears too much. People think she’s a whore.
“Is it in yet?”
“So do you think he really wants me or is he just playing games?”
The doctor swears I’m not contagious.
“I HATE cheaters. :mad: There is nothing worse in this world than a cheater. Total scum. All cheaters should burn in hell. You’re not a cheater, right?”
Assuming this is real it’s the winner of the true stories so far.
That one made me snort out loud. 
That’s just what I was thinking.
After all that, you’re sure to get an honest answer!
My additions:
“I know I said I didn’t have kids, but I actually do. I just wanted you to meet me first so you would get to know me, even though your profile said you didn’t want kids.”
A cellphone ringing, and my date answering it, and talking on it AT ALL throughout the date. Cellphones go off when the date starts, unless a close family member is dying.
The sound of my date texting.
No, that’s really creepy. But on a *first date *from a woman…
If I swear that I have said my quote would you declare me the winner?
Anyone ever hear of Kevin Bloody Wilson?
Here’s a snippet:
Do you fuck on first dates
Does you Dad own a brewery
Could I feel Your tits
Or would you show ‘em to me
Cause you’ve got a nice head
And you look pretty honest
So me face’ll be leavin’ in quart of an hour
I’d like you to be on it
True story from a female friend of mine…“I’m homeless, does that bother you?”
Last week…“all of the women in my family are spinsters”
Still trying to figure that one out.
I think the worst on a first date or meeting is some variation on “you’re my boyfriend/girlfriend.” Like, once I was at a dance at a church camp and some girl who apparently must have had some huge crush on me was following me around the dance, pulling me onto the dance floor (it’s not quite as bad as it sounds, but it was pretty obnoxious), and at one point when someone made some snide comment at me/us said something along the lines of “it’s okay, they don’t have a girlfriend”. She tried her damnedest to sit next to me on the 5 hour bus ride home, luckily I had a friend to sit with first.
To this day I do not know that person’s name, all I know is that I’m somewhat glad that I don’t, because I think asking her her name would have been interpreted as a marriage proposal.
“Oh, I am. Sorry.”
Wait for them to finish their rant of unequalled fury
beat
“… oh, I thought you meant at Monopoly”
I was about to say “will you marry me?”, but I think Jragon has a better story.
I dunno, that’d do it for me 
“Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”
I had one date with a guy who turned out to be a single father. I didn’t know this when I accepted the date.
Me: “I don’t want children. Never have, never will.”
Him: “How about a stepdaughter?”