Things You Don't Want To Hear On A First Date

Yes, I think you are totally hot, but believe me when I say I am in love with your mind as well. And since you are such an intelligent person I want to give you this opportunity to invest in a time share in a new resort near Ishpeming, Michigan; the Riviera of the Upper Peninsula. I have some great color brochures right here…

I recognized the quote, but couldn’t place it so googled it: Jack Nicholson as the Joker in Batman (1989) who said it right before he killed someone.

But why wouldn’t you want to hear this? That someone is a Batman/Joker fan?

“Does this look infected to you?”

MY favorite is" Don’t get any wrong ideas. After I made love with her I said "I had the right idea all along "She smacked me!

My wife was a widow she told me she still morns the loss, but he is dead and you’re here now.

So long as you enjoyed the smacking, too…

:wink:

Run for your life.

I’m a bit of a celebrity you know. I was on “Dog, the Bounty Hunter.”

True quote from a first and last date: “I hear voices.” :eek:

The implication is that your date is a psychopathic killer and you’re the next target.

A friend of mine went on a date for the first time after breaking up with a long-term girlfriend. The next day he was asked how the date went. He said that he wasn’t sure if he’d go out with her again because she seemed a little “crazy”. I internally rolled my eyes a little bit at this, thinking that my friend was still bitter over the ex. Then he went on to explain how the girl had mentioned having a pet rat, and my friend had asked conversationally why she’d chosen a rat as a pet. The answer?

Because they’ll never betray you.

Ok then. Kinda crazy, indeed.

I would say a little dramatic and awkward but not really crazy. She probably just likes her rat. I would have never believed how wonderful a pet they could be till my son had one.

“You have such nice thick hair, is it like that* down there* too?”

First (and last) date, dude…

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used as evidence against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present …”

Or maybe not…

“and you my friend will see, you’ve got a friend in me”

Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. They’re everywhere, even under my skin. BEHIND YOU!!!

“I have a terrible gag reflex.”

Not blowing me would be stupid.

This one is real. Within 5 minutes of meeting he asks my date of birth, and pulls out a piece of paper and starts working on our astrology charts to see if we will be compatible. He also consulted numerology to double check. When I said I didn’t think a second date would be wise, he was very surprised, and said he always did well with Taurus women.

Your response should’ve been “yeah, but I cast bones and did some tarot readings before this and… be careful around birds, okay?”