Would wet dog food really poision you? If I were poor and hungary, I probably might be seriously considering it.
The Cat would let you put it in the toliet?
You’d be surprised.
I’m tired. SO tired. I have so many demands on me, and I have to do them in order of priority. There is just not enough of me to go around. Could you give me a break here, and ASSUME I love you, since I DO, VERY much, but YOU don’t need my help right now and I have to give what I need to GIVE to the people who really NEED me?
I would be ETERNALLY grateful.
Oh my God, so would I.
Or, to put it more bluntly to those who don’t get it the first time: It’s Not My Problem.
That said…My niece just pointed out that on my Secret Santa gift–a wonderful purple glitter lamp with lots of goo inside–the warning label on the container clearly reads: DO NOT DRINK.
Thoughtful of them, wasn’t it?
My favorite appears on my bottle of Ambien, a heavily-advertised, prescription sleep aid:
Caution: May Induce Drowsiness.
To which my response is Damn well better…
Oh, you’ve hit on one real pet peeve! It should never come as a surprise that you are going to have to pay for the groceries. People will stand and stare at the checkout screen and then when time comes to pay, start fishing around in a purse or a pocket looking for the money to pay.
The worst is the old man, and I am an old man, who pays a $5.21 tab by carefully counting out the ones and then reaching in a pocket for a coin purse in order to fish around and find 2 dimes and a penny.
You shouldn’t have to tell people to be ready to pay.