[QUOTE=Uvula Donor]
Well, you got the part about you being stupid right. Everything you post is fucking stupid. All your threads are stupid. You’re too stupid to use a checking account. You’re too stupid to use PayPal. You’re too stupid to figure out your iPod. You’re even too stupid to fuck your girlfriend.
[/quote]
Uh huh. Mm hmm. Uh huh.
Whoa, dude. Fucking harsh.
[QUOTE=Uvula Donor]
It’s highly unlikely that **unbrok3npp **will ever be able to get his inflatable vinyl lover pregnant, and even if he did, she’d only give birth to a litter of party balloons.
[/QUOTE]
Or a bushel of turnips.
unbrok3npp, I’d like to expound on something which has been mentioned by several people, but not quite explained. As you will recall, the main reason given by samclem for closing the girlfriend thread was that it was seeking medical advice and that’s not permitted here. Why? Because medical advice almost never can be given off-the-shelf. Free advice on a (cheap) message board is no substitute for real medical advice. Nor is it harmless, if the person being advised (in this case, indirectly) neglects to get real medical advice in the misplaced belief that the free advice is adequate. The same principle applies to legal advice, btw, and is similarly restricted by the mods.
FWIW, samclem is a very good moderator. Pissing on his shadow will only cause folks to draw adverse inferences about you. You would be better served, I submit, to learn the rules (unwritten as well as written) and post accordingly. Really, this is a great board. Well worth fifteen bucks a year.
[QUOTE=Uvula Donor]
Well, you got the part about you being stupid right. Everything you post is fucking stupid. All your threads are stupid. You’re too stupid to use a checking account. You’re too stupid to use PayPal. You’re too stupid to figure out your iPod. You’re even too stupid to fuck your girlfriend.
[/QUOTE]
(channeling Ed McMahon)
Hi-yo!
[QUOTE=oft wears hats]
although you came off as a bit green behind the gills
[/QUOTE]
[nitpick]Wet behind the ears. Green around the gills means nauseous. Or nauseated, whatever the word is.[/nitpick]
[QUOTE=Uvula Donor]
You’re even too stupid to fuck your girlfriend.
[/QUOTE]
But nobody else is!
[QUOTE=Rilchiam]
[nitpick]Wet behind the ears. Green around the gills means nauseous. Or nauseated, whatever the word is.[/nitpick]
[/QUOTE]
My mistake. I got it confused with the slang “green” meaning inexperienced.
[pit] To be fair, the name unbrok3npp does make **me **a touch nauseous. [/pit]
[QUOTE=Gengis]
Okay - look at your keyboard. See the “L” key? Just to the right, there’s some funny squiggly things; we can ignore those for the time being. Now, look one more key to the right. No, no - not the “return/enter” key - before that. It’s called an apostrophe. Handy little thing, and you don’t even have to use one of those pesky shift keys with it. The apostrophe is your friend. Use it, embrace it, make it your bitch.
[/QUOTE]
I can’t believe you posted such utter tripe!
There are no–I repeat no–“funny squiggly things” between the L and the apostrophe. There are dots there! (Well, dots and a comma.)
The key between the L and the apostrophe has the colon (or, as people I work with call it, “semi-colon” or “that thing with the two dots”) and the semi-colon (or, as people I work with call it, “that thing with the dot and the comma”).
And I can’t believe the rest of you people let such a travesty continue for so long. I am so ashamed of all of you.
Meh. He’s not the stupidest poster ever here. His main crime (besides starting duplicate threads on rather mundane, obvious topics-what teen doesn’t know how to use an iPod?) has been his lack of grammar skills–which is a mortal blow, true, but I think we can find some compassion for the young 'un. Afterall, he is a self-admitted kid–and kids are supposed to not know how to go about things.
Give him a break and ignore his outburst re the SDMB-he’ll either sink or swim sooner or later on his own.
Zoggie–thanks for the laugh out loud post. I have some sympathy for the OP’s sexual ignorance, but that was a classic topper to danceswithcats’ post of beauty.
Note the use of apostrophes throughout. Learn from my example, Grasshopper!
[QUOTE=unbrok3npp]
There is a world outside other than behind a monitor.
[/QUOTE]
I have nothing against you, I haven’t really paid attention to your threads, I usually have a great amount of patience for people who ask really basic questions (folks have got to learn somehow) and I’ve only read this one because I’m curious when folks criticize the character of this message board. So long story short, I have no investment in this brouhaha at all.
But if you’ve seriously only had one orgasm through nearly all of your teen years, telling others to go out and see the world is probably the most bizarre thing I’ve every heard. On multiple counts.
That notwithstanding, if you show a little openness to doing things not exactly the way you are accustomed to, and you stick around the boards for a little while and are able to adapt to your surroundings a little, I think you’d find that there are a lot of very smart, open minded, intelligent people here who may be able to give you $15 worth of entertainment (and perhaps enlightment). You’ll also find that there is a tendency to pile on someone during certain types of disagreements. I do not excuse that behavior. However, if you do not wish to show any flexibility with your expectations of what a particular internet message board is supposed to be, then the problem rests with you, not the rest of the community.
I hope you’ll take these words as not a lecture, but hopefully a bit of advice from a pretty much disinterested party.
Hey, Squirt. Yeah, there are some active threads far more mundane than those that you started. Here is a medical advice thread, still alive and kicking in IMHO. There are two (2!) LOLCatz threads in MPSIMS. Plenty of tech advice threads in GQ.
But the BBQ pit is like gang territory, except the gang isn’t physically intimidating, violent, or affiliated with either coast. This gang is like a gaggle of hardcore ex-English teachers, who expect you to represent your intelligence by demonstrating your mad grammar, spelling and punctuation skills. You hear me, Dog? They’re all like, “You best be packing your thesaurus if you hit this turf, yo, and use your spell checker before you even step up.” And they don’t grade on a curve, oh no, this gang is hard and will fail you on punctuation errors so fast you will forget your original post.
The whole board is a brain trust, but the sharks down here are the grammar patrol and the punctuation police. Now they can’t actually cut you, or physically beat you down, but they do possess lightening Googlefu skillz and can make you feel all remedial with a quickness. (Can you sense it? They are circling me now, ready to translate all my BS into the King’s english, and you better believe they are checking to make sure that I know how to use it’s and its correctly.)
See Squirt, you just got jumped into a gang. When the Pit Sharks smell fresh blood, you either retreat, crack open your reference books, or whip out your best trash talk.
“Yo, yo, yo, Kid, you need to be spelling correctly, proofreading, Googling like a motherfuck, and you best watch your punctuation, punk.”
Its like that.
(Alright, Squirt, I’ve got them. Now get out of the pool, and don’t look back, 'cause I screwed up a possessive to distract them, and it’s gonna get ugly.)
[QUOTE=Beaucarnea]
… King’s english …
[/QUOTE]
King’s English.
d&r
[QUOTE=fachverwirrt]
King’s English.
d&r
[/QUOTE]
Ohh- I’ve been hit! Medic!!!
[QUOTE=Beaucarnea]
but they do possess lightening Googlefu skillz
[/quote]
‘Googlefu skillz’ is a redundancy.
[QUOTE=Beaucarnea]
the King’s english
[/QUOTE]
You don’t capitalize ‘English’, homeboy?
Wow! My StraightDope-fu is getting slow!
[QUOTE=Beaucarnea]
…lightening Googlefu skillz…
[/QUOTE]
What if you have darkening Googlefu skillz?
Why does every single person my age on the Dope try to make us all look bad? Why?
I think it’s time for an under-twenty roll-calling thread. Surely there’s at least one productive poster in the set.
Y’all don’t know who you’re dealing with. My dad is a high school English teacher and librarian from New York. And an intimidating MF to boot: cross country and golf coach, former tri-athlete, and half-crazed extreme sports nut, who raised his youngest in the South, where butchering the language is mandatory if you wish to be understood. I’m not allowed in a bar around here unless I can get three syllables out of a cuss word, and I declarah I will drop r’s, drawl, and use slang like a shameless mountain hillbilly. I ain’t scared.
I have 30+ years of pent up resentment from being coached and corrected. You sharks can dissect every letter- bring it. I’m Southern-fried Teflon up in this bitch.
[QUOTE=fishbicycle]
What if you have darkening Googlefu skillz?
[/QUOTE]
Ah, swift one fishbicycle.
kowtows
Are we throwing feasts for Trolls now?
Tris