It’s past my bedtime, far worthier adversaries. Thank you dnooman for the long and thoughtful post- you nailed me: I’m a softy. And thanks, Zoe for the hug- I’m all warm and fuzzy. It will come back to you.
(And Zoe, forgive me for taking poetic license with the King’s English. 
I’ll make you proud next time.)
I must seek out the next available opportunity to use this phrase.
You are most welcome. It takes a special kind of person to be able to not only deal with a post such as the post in question with such aplomb, but it takes an even more special person to go to the lengths that you have in order to help. I’m sure he’s thanked you, I just hope he truly appreciates how lucky he is to have found a person such as yourself. I really don’t mean to bootlick, I just think he owes you a small debt, and he shouldn’t get too mouthy on a board he found you on.
I don’t think I even need to say anything about this post for people to realize what a fuck-off you are.
Hey, you’re spelling better! Keep it up. Small steps.
Dude! You were just slighted by someone that has been nationally recognized for having written the worst sentence of the year!
I’ll hold his arms back, hit him with your best shot!
[sub]Jim, pretend it hurts[/sub]
That’s internationally! 
Showoff.
Oh, right, this is the Pit. Fuck you, eat my poop, you suck at sucking, and uh… you’re kids are bald. Take that!
Tried it; no reaction.
Queens English actually
Queen**’**s English, hactually 
It’s the posters who pit the SDMB that have convinced me to pony up.
Their outrage, ire and sheer insistence on respect without reciprocation astounds and amuses me.
I lurked for years, guested and then lurked again.
I humbly hope I am worthy.
Someone in the ‘how does my penis work?’ thread, suggested the OP was researching for an article on what advice would be given to a silly child seeking factual advice on the net.
The OP’s behaviour, both in this and other threads, tends to confirm this.
On the other hand, I’ve met 18 y/o males and their complete lack of sense or courtesy is fucking incredible. This boy would fit right in with any of the feral fuckwits who simply won’t get off my lawn!
Edited to add - Bryan Eckers gave my my bestest laugh of the day on page two of this thread (thank you).
Fuck you!
Um, sorry, just got a bit carried away there.
In my defense, I posted that late and with a glass or two of bourbon under my belt. They certainly looked squiggly to me.
Yup. That’s what people are getting from this thread.
Huh.
“First of all, Ive never seen another forum online that you have to pay for…”
Which means he hasn’t seen much of the internet. because I can think of two off the top of my head. Then there are several which are free, but which give you perks if you pay.
“…but i figured the information I could get was worth the money.”
Which is weird, since if you’d lurked much you’d have known what kind of information you would get with the kind of threads you were thinking of starting - that is, some good, some bad, some silly.
“So I embarked on the biggest waste of $15 ever.”
You’ve obviously never bought a CD based on one song. Not my money, but I could have TOLD Eva way back when that every song on her Spin Doctors album was going to sound exactly the same.
“In any other forum I can ask whatever I want.”
You can here, too. You DID! Except I’m not sure about that “any other forum” thing… I’m trying to imagine what the people at SA ($10 lifetime membership; I’m not a member) would have said in response to a thread about eye wrinkle cream… shudder
“Here, admins close my posts because they are ‘somewhat similar’”
Which is unfair, because christ knows we need as many questions as possible about pregnancy and wrinkle cream…
“or more recently because ‘I talk too much about my girlfriend’”
Which is what a journal is for. Livejournal, Deadjournal, Greatestjournal, Blogger, Typepad, Myspace, Facebook… I’ll bet Teen People has a message board where you could ask questions about your face creams and teenage relationship problems all day long and would get nothing but sympathy.
"How is this at all fair? "
Because you start stupid threads and tried to use the MB as a personal advice column? Maybe? And the rest of the people on here don’t? I’m thinking “same standards apply to me as to you” = “fair.”
"Why should I get punished because the issues I want to talk about are related to me and my girlfriend? "
You’re not being PUNISHED. No one is grounding you. You’re not being prevented from posting again. Mommy and Daddy haven’t spanked you and I bet you’re still allowed to go to Homecoming this year, you lucky boy!
“Im really sick of these admins.”
Better people than you have said the same thing more eloquently.
"I understand there has to be rules, but these arent rules. "
I understand that you’ve spent your entire short life being given stringent sets of carefully-written rules to follow, and that you have learned to stay only within the rigidly defined areas provided you by your parents and teachers. However, in the world where grown-ups operate, sometimes people have to think about what they’re doing and how it will effect other people and the spaces in which they function, instead of being specifically shown with a highlighter and extra tutoring.
“If people are interested and helping me in a thread an admin shouldnt close it because he’s got something up his butt at the moment.”
No kidfding aside, if he has something up his butt without his informed consent, I doubt very seriously that he’s worried about your lame-ass posts. If it’s there with his informed consent, he’s got WAY bigger problems than you if he’s still monitoring the MB.
“I hope the staff of this website gets changed.”
See: “Im really sick of these admins.”
"And not that it matters, but I deter anyone who is interested from subscribing to this site. "
How? To deter is an action verb and I think you’re just sitting there.
“Great job.”
How the staff is going to recover from THAT zinger is beyond me. How heinous of you.
“In the future, please let my threads go. The information I get is very important to me.”
Perhaps if it’s that important you should be talking to actual medical doctors about medical problems, and perhaps a skin specialist could help you with your abnormally wrinkley scrotum.
AND…
“I don’t think I even need to say anything about this post for people to realize what a fuck-off you are.”
I don’t think anyone needs more than three brain cells colliding to note a serious change in your writing style and conception of spelling and grammar throughout this thread.
I’ll leave the irony of a kid complaining about excess moderation on the internet … while claiming everyone ELSE has no real life - as an exercise for the reader.
A note: I keep calling you “kid” and referring to your youth because it’s obviously a sore spot with you and I am attempting to irritate you. Fortunately, nothing irritates a young person like pointing out their youth, so I’m pretty sure I’m golden.
And don’t bother remarking on my lack of a life; the sad part is how, with NO life, I’m less pathetic than you.
Said all well and fine, but the point I have to agee with you the most is the $15. Obviously he’s not posting from Tokyo where that would only get three lattes. I don’t get wound up for less than $22 anymore.
$15 only gets you three lattes here, too. But I think the last thing **unbrok3npp **needs is more caffeine.
Well, ectually, it is The King’s English, since this is the title of the 1908 reference book by the Fowler brothers. Changing it to “Queen’s English” is like changing the title of Ian Fleming’s On Her Majesty’s Secret Service when and if Charles assumes the throne.
At least I got a laugh out of this thread.
You say I that I have less of a life than you, yet you write nearly 1000 words and waste probably 15 minute of your pathetic life dwelling on me!
To use what seems to be a sdmb regular, “the irony is self-evident in your post.”
But it’s OK because im sure all your family and friends are very proud of you. You should go down to your local school and tell all the kids there how pathetic their lives are compared to yours too- I bet you’ll have a really big hard-on then.