“Starting this spring on the SDMB network, a comedy of errors… One’s a closeted gay mormon from Salt Lake City. One’s a born again widow from Ohio. Watch the crazy antics of these two people as they try to cross every possible hurdle of a relationship… will they one day become Man and Wife? Find out this season, on ‘Snark and Orangecakes’. Only on the SDMB network. Right after ‘Vet Emergencies with Michelle’.”
SanibelMan - My Homepage
“Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.”
I’ve never really spoken to either of you, but I’ve read a lot of your posts. You both seem like you’re starting this relationship by being completely honest with each other, and IMHO, that is the very best way to start. You know what you’ll be facing, and you’re willing to work through it. If anyone has a chance at a successful relationship, it’s you two.
Best of luck to you!
Changing my sig, because Wally said to, and I really like Wally, and I’ll do anything he says, anytime he says to.
Have to tell ya: you’ve all seen my Picture, but since Bill doesn’t want me to post his(and I won’t)(I do everything he tells me to! ;))…so just take my word for it: He is So Incerdibly Gorgeous… :eek: I am so blessed.
Rose, Rose, Rose. What are we going to do with you? Adam can walk and talk already. I want a baby, not a 20-year-old! If we adopt Adam, I’ll have to kick him out of the house as soon as he turns 21. (Just kidding, Adam.)
Bill, in case I didn’t make it clear, I was not so much concerned about “your gay identity” (“I define myself by the minority I happen to belong to” :() as you being happy and comfortable with who you are and cannot change. (That last was not to dump on you the 1990s-2000s conventional wisdom that no gay can change, although there is plenty of research that says it’s difficult going for impossible, but to say that you are who God made you, for his own reasons, and you can and should live comfortably with that.) I feel that you will be able to maintain a much more stable mental state and be a better partner for Rose with such self-acceptance. I am not suggesting you need to classify yourself in some group or other, just find it in yourself to accept the Bill the rest of us know and love. And from some of what you shared in the Gay Marriage thread, you had not at that point achieved that self-acceptance, at cost to your own mental health. At the risk of repeating myself, I’m not pushing some particular agenda at you, just the idea that you find peace and self-acceptance as what you find it comfortable to be. Fair?
There’s only one thing in this world you should see through rose-colored glasses.
Polycarp, I realize you weren’t talking about having a “gay identity”–I think SqrlCub was the one pushing that on me (correct me if I’m wrong, SQ). And it’s true that my self-image is pretty abysmal, but Rose is helping greatly with that. You oughtta see the compliment-factory she works for! I’m even taking up exercising again thanks to her, something I would never do just for myself. I think there’s a lot of hope in this relationship for both of us, and it could turn out very nicely. Time will tell.
But my point is, my self-esteem has already skyrocketed just by having a girl interested in me. This has only happened twice before in my entire life (okay, 3 times if you count Sadie Hawkins), and I was seriously believing that it would never happen again. Already a burden has been lifted off of my shoulders. Rose is VERY good for me.
I think we’re all missing a valid point here. Even if Snark has homoerotic fantasies, it doesn’t mean he is homosexual. Just because someone fantasizes about something doesn’t mean they want that to happen **in real life **. People have rape fantasies, but I highly doubt if any of them want to be raped.
Being true to your heart doesn’t mean indulging all your fantasies. Heck, if that were true, I’d have already shot many people on Interstate 80 during rush hour.
Best wishes, good luck, and warm hugs to you both!
Prairie Rose
If you’re not part of the solution you’re just scumming up the bottom of the beaker.
The above query was in response to my comment concerning Asimov’s “The Naked Sun.”
Well, it’s the second of Asimov’s Lije Bailey novels and is set on one of the Spacer worlds, Solaria. The Spacers there all have huge mansions in which the husband and wife have separate quarters, separate kitchens, separate lounges, etc. They also physically meet at certain scheduled times. All this because to an individual on Solaria, the Spacers are extremely phobic of meeting other humans in the flesh. It’s actually a very interesting murder mystere.
Of course, I’m not suggesting that y’all live out the entire premise of the story, you know.
Monty, thanks for the explanation of that Asimov novel. This is something we’ll have to work out should the relationship get that far, although I doubt we’ll go to the extremes that Asimov portrayed! < g >
