I wish you both the very best.
(everything else has been said)
Kelli
Kelli, thank you! Now where’s my Byz???
I have to agree with Prarie. Take things one day at a time, love each other, trust each other, and respect each other. If it’s meant to be, the rest will fall into place. Best of luck and happiness to you both. 
Zette
Love is like popsicles…you get too much you get too high.
Not enough and you’re gonna die…
Click here for some GOOD news for a change Zettecity
Zette, thanks. I couldn’t have explained it better than this Prairie Rose person.
{David, was that you outside my apartment last night with the binoculors? 
Sorry for the delay in well-wishing, Snark and oc—busy, not indifferent.
All the best to both of you. 'Tain’t up to me to second guess, only to extend congratulations on your happiness and best wishes for the future.
Plenty of room in the world for happiness, so thanks for sharing yours with us.
Veb
I am very happy for you both!!
(I don’t really know either of you so far be it from me to offer unsolicited advice, criticism, or suggestions!)
Love is a beautiful thing and I am always excited when I see it happen! I wish you both the best of everything and hope you are as happy as you can be!
Enjoy life–especially those moments you are together!
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they’re going to be when you kill them.
Sorry, tried to post this on Friday but the board was giving me problems. (No, really, I love the internet…)
With all due respect, Rose does not have years of training in psychology and/or psychiatry and is simply not equipped to be anything more to you than a friend or girlfriend. You don’t go to a mechanic when your nuclear reactor goes critical, no matter how much of a “nice guy” he might be.
My father has been in the hospital for almost 8 weeks now, and I’m thrilled that “everyone involved in helping him” knows what the others are doing. If you need the help of more than one health care specialist, they all should know what the others think to help you get better. Besides, who said anything about going to that particular health agency? You could always go to someone in private practice, which would severely limit the number of people who see your information.
I didn’t say anything about accepting or denying your being gay. I’m simply pointing out that by your own admission you’ve got big problems, and these are problems that could be ultimately detrimental to your own mental health and to your future relationships. I don’t give a rat’s patootie if you’re really gay or not - I just think you need to figure your own head out a little better with professional guidance before you go intertwining your life with someone else. (And, frankly, I’d suggest the same thing to orangecakes.)
Once again, as usual, I could be wrong. About a lot of things.
Esprix
Next time I want your opinion I’ll beat it out of you.
YIKES!
My sincerest apologies for the accidental multiple posts! I thought it was a problem with the board, but it must have been my ISP at work. I am soooooooo sorry. I hope our Goode Moderator can delete my verbosity?
Although, Snark, I see you haven’t responded to anything I said. But that’s entirely up to you…
Esprix
Next time I want your opinion I’ll beat it out of you.
Esprix wrote:
Yes, I agree, a therapist would probably be better. Sorry for not responding sooner–I guess I saw your post so many times that somehow I ignored it.
The things I would talk about would be highly private, though, so I wouldn’t want a bunch of people knowing my every nook and cranny.
I can’t afford that. The only reason I can afford health care at all is Medicaid.
Hmmm…maybe we could undergo therapy together. But again, can’t afford it.
{hee hee} That’s a keeper…
I also wanted to comment on this again, as you mentioned that Rose has been very good about boosting your self-esteem. Would you consider the possibility this is a false boost, or, more accurately, the well-meaning but misdirected encouragement of someone who may be on the wrong track? For example, if someone I knew cheated on a test, would it be right of me to pat them on the back for getting an “A”? I’m glad that Rose likes you enough to want to give some kind of relationship a go, but I really don’t think it addresses a potentially disastrous problem on your part.
Again, no slight to orangecakes - I’m sure she’s a fine person.
You mentioned that you were burned once before by a therapist because that person shared your therapy with your psychiatrist. Firstly, this sounds perfectly logical, and I don’t know why it was a problem; however, if you explicitly told your therapist that you didn’t want your therapy shared with anyone else, even another psychological professional, then yes, this was wrong and highly unethical of them and they ought to have their license removed. But as it stands, it seems to me that sharing information between professionals who are trying to help you was the right thing to do.
I put to you that there are many, many resources out there for you, if you just look. There are a good number of private practice psychologists who do community work, work on a sliding scale, etc., plus agencies that will help you find the monetary resources to afford the help you need. There is help available to you, if you just look for it. (But here is another problem - if orangecakes keeps encouraging you, making you feel better about yourself, but telling you things that perhaps aren’t in your best interest [through no deliberate attempt on her part], this would be another excuse not to seek help you may very well need.)
I think this is the best suggestion yet. If nothing else, I think couples counseling would be something you two should consider if this were to actually go somewhere.
Here’s a question - what if you and Rose just turn out to be friends? What happens to you then?
Esprix
Next time I want your opinion I’ll beat it out of you.
Esprix wrote:
Frankly, I don’t know what Rose sees in me. I’ve warned her time and again that I am unstable sometimes, but she apparently feels she can handle it.
I guess there must have been some misunderstanding due to lack of communication between us. I didn’t tell her that I wanted everything private, so it’s probably my fault she shared it with my psychiatrist.
::sigh:: I guess I could look into that, but I swear, if I have to fill one more medical form out, I’ll scream! < g >
quote:
Hmmm…maybe we could undergo therapy together.
I think this is the best suggestion yet. If nothing else, I think couples counseling would be something you two should consider if this were to actually go somewhere.
Here’s a question - what if you and Rose just turn out to be friends? What happens to you then?
[/quote]
Then we each go on with our lives, I guess. It’s possible.
I agree with Snark when he says behaviors, habits, and interests can change over time. A few years ago I was POSITIVE I was bisexual. I was absoultely certain. Even to the point of inviting other women into our (mine & SO’s) bedroom. We had parties, drank, did an assortment illicit drugs and pharmaceuticals. When those behaviors stopped, so did my little on-the-side thingy. I just lost interest.
So to say to Snark, whom we all know to be wise yet self-deprecating, that he is wrong to enter any relationship he chooses, is just silly. Orangecakes seems to have all her shit in one sock too.
Go for it, Snark and OC.
Well, thanks jane. But you just killed my appetite there! 
I agree with Snark when he says behaviors, habits, and interests can change over time. A few years ago I was POSITIVE I was bisexual. I was absoultely certain. Even to the point of inviting other women into our (mine & SO’s) bedroom. We had parties, drank, did an assortment of illicit drugs and pharmaceuticals. When those behaviors stopped, so did my little on-the-side thingy. I just lost interest. I’m not saying that I started to like women because I got all coked up one night and started reading Hustler. My attraction to women started way before that. I’m just saying that when my lifestyle changed, so did my sexual tastes.
So to say to Snark, whom we all know to be wise yet self-deprecating, that he is wrong to enter any relationship he chooses, is just silly. Orangecakes seems to have all her shit in one sock too.
Go for it, Snark and OC.
Some intensely practical points:[ul][]Bill has been amazingly upfront about his sexuality, and I think that deserves acknowledgement.[]He is an individual human being, not a member of some nebulous subset of humanity that can be used as an us-vs.-them thing.[]He finds certain men attractive, in some ways sex objects (though not, even hypothetically, sex partners). So? Does this mandate that he take out a life subscription to The Advocate and study interior decorating? I thought we had gotten past that sort of stereotyping.[]I think he’s reasonably clear on the fact that his sexual feelings are not going away, at least in the near future. Esprix, I, and others have encouraged him to be at ease with that fact.[]He has strong religious beliefs on the sinfulness of homosexual practice, which have caused conflict within him since he has an at least partial homosexual orientation. In our efforts to help him come to terms with his gayness, we haven’t addressed the validity of his religious feelings.[]I am concerned for Rose too. I hope that the relationship will be a positive and liberating one for her. With her late husband’s memory creating dark shadows, her bravery of entering into this relationship needs to be recognized.[]If she had not seen the possible pitfalls there, this thread at least has rubbed her nose in them.[]Having said all that, I see them working through any problems that surface and having a happy relationship.Even if the relationship goes no further than Internet-steady and then collapses into “just friends,” I feel it will be very positive for both of them, healing past wounds and leading them to a more positive future outlook. And really, isn’t that what it’s all about?[/ul]
Frankly, Bill, I can’t imagine what I DON’T see in you. I could explain here are your good qualities, but it would take too much time! (and don’t worry, I’ll hide the light bulbs)
Polycarp wrote:
THANK YOU, Polycarp! I find it just incredible that at least one person insisted that I was being immoral for dating a straight woman. I do have artistic inclinations, however…
Rose, no need to hide the light bulbs any more. That was in the early days of my schizophrenia. I’ve learned that Mr. Lightbulb is our Friend.
Maybe she can, and maybe she can’t. My concern is that in her zeal to help you, she might actually be doing damage.
“Misunderstanding” implies it was no one’s fault - don’t beat yourself up over it. If you went from her care to a psychiatrist’s care, it seems logical that she would then pass on your medical history - you didn’t know at the time that she would, nor that it would be a problem for you. Now that you know better, you’re better equipped to deal with a new therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist.
Getting mental health will drive you crazy, eh?
No, I meant what will you do then?
Esprix
Next time I want your opinion I’ll beat it out of you.
What will I do if Rose and I break up? I’ll probably keep taking the meds, visit the psych every 3 months, and have no life on the internet. We’d still be friends. Life as usual.
[quote]
Originally posted by Polycarp:
Some intensely practical points:
[ul][li]Bill has been amazingly upfront about his sexuality, and I think that deserves acknowledgement.[/ul][/li][/quote]
Agreed. Even if this relationship were to tank, at least they could honestly say they knew what they were getting into.
[quote]
[ul][li]He finds certain men attractive, in some ways sex objects (though not, even hypothetically, sex partners). So? Does this mandate that he take out a life subscription to The Advocate and study interior decorating? I thought we had gotten past that sort of stereotyping.[/ul][/li][/quote]
To me, this has never been a question of whether or not Snark is gay or straight or somewhere in between, it’s been his dealing with it in a healthy way, which I don’t think he has.
[quote]
[ul][li]I think he’s reasonably clear on the fact that his sexual feelings are not going away, at least in the near future. Esprix, I, and others have encouraged him to be at ease with that fact.[/ul][/li][/quote]
Agreed.
[quote]
[ul][li]He has strong religious beliefs on the sinfulness of homosexual practice, which have caused conflict within him since he has an at least partial homosexual orientation. In our efforts to help him come to terms with his gayness, we haven’t addressed the validity of his religious feelings.[/ul][/li][/quote]
My view is that his religious beliefs are a large part of what is causing his problem dealing with his sexuality, so I will refrain from commenting too much on this; I do, however, respect his decisions, even if they are religious-based.
[quote]
[ul][li]I am concerned for Rose too. I hope that the relationship will be a positive and liberating one for her. With her late husband’s memory creating dark shadows, her bravery of entering into this relationship needs to be recognized.[/ul][/li][/quote]
Bravery, or foolishness? I’m still sensing a destructive pattern of behavior here. (Of course, as usual, I could be wrong…)
[quote]
[ul][li]Having said all that, I see them working through any problems that surface and having a happy relationship.[/li][li]Even if the relationship goes no further than Internet-steady and then collapses into “just friends,” I feel it will be very positive for both of them, healing past wounds and leading them to a more positive future outlook.[/ul][/li][/quote]
Well, here’s where I disagree with you. I’m sensing some deep-rooted denial about some very basic problems, false optimism, and just a laundry list of issues on both sides. Ultimately, I see failure, which will only compound these existing problems. Just my opinion, and I still wish you both luck, but I just don’t see it. 
No, that’s the hokey-pokey. {putting right hand in}
Esprix
Next time I want your opinion I’ll beat it out of you.