“Why do you ask, Two Dogs F**king?”
“Most guys would’ve just left her hanging there.”
“Well, I bet them $100 that I could piss all over your bar and you’d just laugh about it.”
Because it was dead…
Dad. You’re drunk. Go home.
Holy shit! A talking dog!
“I’m getting declawed”
“Lunch is on me.”
“A six-pack can’t satisfy eight men at once.”
“Moooooooooooo!”
“Got any grapes?”
“You’d have a better chance at pulling your d*ck out of a food processor”
“She asked the dealer if he had a black model she could ride.”
so the nun says to the rabbi, I thought you meant the kosher salami!
“Transporting a young gull across a staid lion for immortal porpoises”
“That was from the hotel. Thith is from me — The nextht time you shnit, sntand, shtill!”
“For you, no charge.”
I already had two obese Patties, special Ross. Lester Creep picking bunions on a Sesame Street Bus.
Dang. I want the questions for some of these!
…went off on a lark
…hung himself
…silly Rabbi, kicks are for trids
…Oppornockity only tunes once.
…“I’ll keep an eye out for you, sonny!”
And the sadist said, “No.”
“The sheep’s a liar!”
“Yes, but what are you going to do?”
“I’d hate to tell you what it looks like!”
“Price of your beer, I’m not bloody surprised.”
“Look out it’s not a bacon tree…it’s a ham bush.”
Darn, don’t ask–I was about to use that one.
No soap–radio!
See how well it works?
Now, I know she doesn’t like that. So I lean forward, quick as I can so the guy next to me doesn’t get clocked, and I tuck it right back in
[ul]
[li]And Superman said, “I don’t know, but my ass sure hurts.”[/li][li]I don’t ejaculate on the apple before I take a bite out of it.[/li][li]“Well, Father O’Riley usually gives me a Coke and a candy bar.”[/li][/ul]
Repaint, you thinner!
Tonight’s not the night.
Keep the tip.
Her business fell off.
Come on, Fanny–let’s get out of here.
“And here you are getting ready to screw me out of my strawberries.”
“Because cowboys like to eat with their hats on.”
“He needed the dough”
“Just teach it to cook, and then fuck off”
“The squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides”
“Okay,” said the parrot. “What have you done with the ship?”