“Those aren’t buoys.”
(Buoies? Not sure of the spelling.)
And then he’ll say “Wooly-booger my ass!”
I don’t care how many times you screw her, just quit using my ass for a tally board.
Whatever the sheep says, it’s a damn lie!
And the attorney says, “What’s the catch?”
“Hey, I rang the doorbell didn’t I?”
“What did the chicken do?”
One to hold the lightbulb and four to rotate the chair.
“I don’t know his name, but his face rings a bell.”
and The Sequel…
“He’s a dead ringer for his brother.”
At my age, I think I’d rather have a talking frog.
And the cop says, “voodoo penis my ass!”
(sung) “Someone chanted evening!”
“I just saw my wife, and she was on a skateboard!”
“No, I’m a frayed knot!”
“Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that chewed the new shoes?”
No, I’m sure. See, I was going down Chauncey street, and everyone was saying, “Would you get a load of the schmuck on that camel!!”
“Recognition. That’s all I want.”
“Huh? It didn’t taste like a shrimp.”
“Thats not a toilet you idiot! Thats a mop bucket!”
" If five won’t get the taste out of my mouth, six won’t either."
“Now where’s this Eskimo woman I’ve gotta wrestle?”
“I couldn’t stop, bartender. It was all in one string.”
No Sh*t?!?
Not much…
Sure… but you hafta promise not to hit me in the head with that beer bottle…
I don’t know - the last thing I remember is the monkey trying to get the cork back in.
“It’s a dead mule, you thtupid thon of a bitch”
Someone stole our tent!
Gotta get the taste out of my mouth.
And I swear, Your Honor. That’s how she got into my room.
“You’ve got a drink named `Murray’?”
“Ya know, I’ve been asked that question many different times, in many different ways. But this is the first I’ve been asked in the pluperfect subjunctive.”
There was a short pause, followed by the sound of a gunshot. “Okay, now what?”
a hormone…