“So am I,” said the third Old Lady. “Let’s all go have a cup of tea.”
“Schmuck! Who do you think sent you the boat and helicopter?”
His pants fit like a glove.
Because they kept using screen doors.
One to hold the lightbulb and 19 the share in the experience.
Real men aren’t afraid of the dark!
Just one–but he has to follow it a round for twenty years till it burns out.
That’s not funny.
“Forget the flashlight! Help me find my keys and we’ll drive out of here!”
“A mallard duck isn’t a filthy, stinking whore.”
“Thank goodness it wasn’t a pussywillow!”
[OK, can’t hold back any more. Gotta post musician punch lines.]
The knocking speeds up.
Can’t find the key and doesn’t know when to come in.
No, no…nothing like that. I just wanted to ask if you have a viola!
One to change it and 7 to say “I could have done that!”
One to change it and the rest talk about how much better Charlie Parker would have done it.
A banjo burns longer.
[crying]But he won’t tell me which one!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Give him sheet music.
There’s a remote chance the chicken might have been on its way to a gig.
“But that’s the way you played it just now.”
“What’s the matter? Are you too good to wear a wristwatch?”
She tried to her advance her career by sleeping with the writer.
“Yup, John Travolta.”
“Not only did I meet Pancho Villa, I ate lunch with him.”
“I’m glad I didn’t tell him about the dirty fork.”
“If you change your mind, I’ll dig a hole and you can puke in it.”
Ooo, I love that one.
“Can you watch the fire while I try to go nail that monkey?”
“Testicles, spectacles, wallet, and watch.”
“The drool is coming out of both sides of his mouth equally”
“I’m afraid not.”
“But good, it’s really good!”
“That’s not my dog.”
Hit, drag George. Hit, drag George.
You don’t really come here for the hunting, do you?
You BASTARD! You’ve been playing from the ladies tees all week!
Orange you glad I didn’t say Banana?
“But we still could not get the top off that bottle!”
“Shine a flashlight in his ear!”
“Is he still wrong?”
“To keep his ankles warm.”
This car only runs on BP
Depends. In the version I heard, the hippo-squaw had twins, a boy and a girl, and the punch-line is a much better homophone for Pythagoras’s Theorem. Unless and until it’s possible to have the sum of the square on the hypotenuse, that is. Perhaps you know your trig better than I do :dubious:
They missed their old flames.
“Rudolph the Rebbe knows grain, dear.”
Yeah - but that was a boar, you pervert!
Regards,
Shodan